It is better for children to grow up in the countryside than in a big city. Do you agree or disagree? Use specific reasons and examples to develop your essay.
Sample Response
Today children predominantly live in villages and in the countryside, but many others live in big cities. This can be seen in terms of their family, hobbies, interests, and undoubtedly, lifestyle. It is believed that rural children are more skilled than children who live in big cities. This will be proven by analysing of children's lifestyle in both countryside and big city in this essay. Firstly, it is well-known fact that living in isolated villages can improve children's health, and therefore, their physical development. For instance, if children constantly do house-working and gardening, they will be healthy. This example clearly shows that working hard improves not only health but also diversifies lifestyle. From this, it can be concluded that living in villages accelerates physical developing and improves skills which they need in future life. Secondly, there is no doubt to say that rural children can adapt and develop in big cities, which are saturated by a variety of places. For example, they can visit and feel a sense of ethnic places, restaurants, stadiums, despite adapting. It is obvious when looking at the example that rural children slowly adapt for boiling city lifestyle. Thus, it would be better to live near big cities. After analysing the areas of both lifestyles, it can be concluded that rural children are healthier than children of big cities. As has been shown, skills of rural children based on house-working, albeit village is not an ideal place to develop life skills. It is predicted that children will live in villages in the future.
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Add introductory comma Original: Today children Suggested revision: Today, children Why it matters: A comma is needed after the introductory time adverb.
- 2. Avoid redundant locations Original: live in villages and in the countryside Suggested revision: live in villages or other rural areas Why it matters: Villages are part of the countryside, so the original wording is repetitive.
- 3. Remove unsupported emphasis Original: undoubtedly, lifestyle Suggested revision: lifestyle Why it matters: The adverb adds certainty without clarifying the comparison.
- 4. Name the viewpoint Original: It is believed Suggested revision: Many people believe Why it matters: The revision makes the source of the general claim clearer.
- 5. Fix verb construction Original: analysing of children's lifestyle Suggested revision: analysing children's lifestyles Why it matters: The verb 'analysing' takes a direct object, and the plural matches the two groups.
- 6. Add articles and agreement Original: in both countryside and big city Suggested revision: in both the countryside and big cities Why it matters: The nouns need appropriate articles and consistent number.
- 7. Add missing article Original: it is well-known fact Suggested revision: it is a well-known fact Why it matters: The singular countable noun 'fact' requires an article.
- 8. Use standard noun Original: do house-working and gardening Suggested revision: do housework and gardening Why it matters: 'Housework' is the standard uncountable noun for domestic tasks.
- 9. Use noun form Original: developing Suggested revision: development Why it matters: The noun 'development' is required after the adjective 'physical'.
- 10. Clarify future reference Original: skills which they need in future life Suggested revision: skills they will need later in life Why it matters: The future auxiliary and idiomatic time phrase make the reference grammatical and clear.
- 11. Fix collocation Original: saturated by a variety of places Suggested revision: filled with a variety of places Why it matters: 'Saturated by places' is not a natural collocation in this context.
- 12. Fix preposition Original: for Suggested revision: to Why it matters: The verb 'adapt' takes the preposition 'to' before a situation or lifestyle.
Suggested Rewrites
- Today children Today, children
- live in villages and in the countryside live in villages or other rural areas
- undoubtedly, lifestyle lifestyle
- It is believed Many people believe
- analysing of children's lifestyle analysing children's lifestyles
- in both countryside and big city in both the countryside and big cities
Why this response received Band 5.0
The response offers a recognisable position and relevant points about health and practical skills, but the argument becomes inconsistent when it shifts from village life to adapting to cities and living near them. Development is thin, and frequent awkward phrasing and grammatical errors weaken clarity. The highest priority is to maintain one precise position and build each body paragraph around a clearly explained, directly supporting reason.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Response
The response addresses the topic and offers relevant reasons, but its position becomes inconsistent and the ideas are only partly developed.
State one unambiguous view and make every body paragraph explain and exemplify a reason that directly supports it.
Coherence and Cohesion
Basic sequencing is visible through the introduction, two main points, and conclusion, although progression is weakened by contradictory turns and mechanical linking.
Use separate paragraphs with clear topic sentences and ensure each sentence advances the same central idea within that paragraph.
Lexical Resource
There is some topic-related range, but frequent inaccurate collocations and word choices such as those describing work, development, and city life reduce precision.
Choose common, natural collocations and check that each ambitious expression conveys the intended meaning accurately.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
The response attempts complex structures, but frequent errors in articles, verb forms, prepositions, and clause construction regularly weaken control.
Prioritise accurate sentence patterns, then edit systematically for articles, verb forms, and prepositions before adding complexity.
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IELTS Writing Task 2
It is better for children to grow up in the countryside than in a big city. Do you agree or disagree? Use specific reasons and examples to develop your essay.
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.