It is better for children to grow up in the countryside than in a big city. Do you agree or disagree? Use specific reasons and examples to develop your essay.
Sample Response
City life has improved significantly with the advancement of technology and it provides state of the art facilities and services to its residents. Some people argue that children are more receptive to new learning experiences that could only be practice in cities. Children can enjoy a high standard of education, modern libraries, parks and many others technological services while spending their lives in cities. However, others claim that countryside is environmentally friendly and provides great physical activities that are mandatory for children health. I strongly believe that life in the city has undeniable positive effects on children. Education plays a pivotal role in children life. Educational institutions in cities are equipped with modern teaching methods and facilities and have more qualified and trained professionals that help students substantially to improve their knowledge and information about the subject. Furthermore, the internet and mobile phone has become an essential constituent of children daily life and are more prevalent in cities. New technological advancement also helps children to achieve better grades by researching on the internet and by other positive use of these technologies. However, it is often seen that children in villages are healthier and less susceptible to illness. Some of the reasons are clean environment and absence of pollution in their area and vicinity. In addition to this, they are more interested in physical games and take parts in activities that demand hard work and strength thus help them to remain active and fit. To sum up, I would like to say that children grown up in cities are more dynamic and intellectual due to finest facilities they had. This also helps them in achieving more success in long run.
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Use past participle Original: practice Suggested revision: practised Why it matters: The passive construction requires the past participle practised.
- 2. Correct determiner form Original: others Suggested revision: other Why it matters: Other, not others, modifies a following noun.
- 3. Add definite article Original: that countryside is Suggested revision: that the countryside is Why it matters: Countryside conventionally takes the definite article.
- 4. Improve collocation Original: provides great physical activities Suggested revision: provides excellent opportunities for physical activity Why it matters: A place provides opportunities for activity rather than providing activities themselves.
- 5. Use possessive form Original: children Suggested revision: children's Why it matters: The possessive form shows that the health belongs to children.
- 6. Use possessive form Original: in children life Suggested revision: in children's lives Why it matters: The general reference requires a plural possessive noun.
- 7. Remove redundancy Original: qualified and trained professionals Suggested revision: qualified professionals Why it matters: Qualified already implies that the professionals have received suitable training.
- 8. Fix adverb placement Original: help students substantially to improve Suggested revision: substantially help students improve Why it matters: Help takes the bare infinitive here, and substantially should modify help.
- 9. Use concise term Original: knowledge and information about the subject Suggested revision: subject knowledge Why it matters: Subject knowledge conveys the same meaning without redundant nouns.
- 10. Use plural forms Original: New technological advancement also helps Suggested revision: New technological advances also help Why it matters: The general reference requires the plural noun and matching plural verb.
- 11. Improve verb phrase Original: by researching on the internet Suggested revision: by conducting research on the internet Why it matters: Conduct research is the natural formal collocation.
- 12. Fix number and phrasing Original: by other positive use of these technologies Suggested revision: through other beneficial uses of these technologies Why it matters: Uses should be plural, and beneficial is a more natural modifier in this context.
Suggested Rewrites
- practice practised
- others other
- that countryside is that the countryside is
- provides great physical activities provides excellent opportunities for physical activity
- children children's
- in children life in children's lives
Why this response received Band 6.0
The response states a clear preference for city life and gives relevant reasons centred on education, technology, and future success, while acknowledging rural health benefits. Its main limitation is that the support remains general and the entire essay is presented as one paragraph, with recurring grammatical inaccuracies. Prioritise distinct paragraphing, more specific examples, and careful control of articles, possessives, agreement, and word forms.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Response
A clear disagreement is maintained and supported with relevant advantages of city life, although the ideas remain general and lack specific examples.
Develop the education and technology arguments with concrete examples showing how city opportunities benefit a child.
Coherence and Cohesion
The ideas progress logically from city advantages to a rural counterpoint and conclusion, but the absence of paragraph breaks weakens organisation.
Divide the response into an introduction, focused body paragraphs, and a conclusion, each with a clear controlling idea.
Lexical Resource
There is adequate topic vocabulary and some less common language, but recurring awkward collocations and word-form choices limit precision.
Use natural combinations such as children's health, technological resources, and access to excellent facilities.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
The response uses both simple and complex structures, but errors with articles, possessives, agreement, and verb forms recur throughout.
Proofread noun phrases and subject-verb agreement, especially plural subjects and possessive forms involving children.
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IELTS Writing Task 2
It is better for children to grow up in the countryside than in a big city. Do you agree or disagree? Use specific reasons and examples to develop your essay.
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.