By punishing murderers with the death penalty, society is also guilty of committing murder. Therefore, life in prison is a better punishment for murderers. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?
Sample Response
(Mixed opinion) The issue whether the murderers should be punished with death penalty or not is a controversial one. Many people support the death penalty as a capital punishment and think that this is a vital way to establish peace and law in the world but there are lots of opinions against it. I support the death penalty for murderers if it's really necessary for prevailing peace but if there is any alternative way to give the criminals a chance to remorse and lead a civilised life again, and then they should be given it. In today's society, life is very violent and if we read the newspapers and watch the news on TV, we find lots of murders and other crime news almost daily. There are many mentally ill people who are committing crimes and almost nothing will stop them. These types of psychopathic murders commit murders even sometimes for personal pleasure. We have interviewed captured criminals who say, "I was going to kill him, but I knew that I could get the death penalty if I did. So I just left him there." Obviously, having the death penalty saves lives and that makes a positive difference to society. The death penalty is also useful to send the message to rest of the people that no matter who you are if you commit a murder you are going to be hanged till death or going to sit in an electric chair. This fear is helpful to reduce the homicide in many countries. If a criminal murders someone and then gets the death penalty, that isn't society's fault. Everyone knows about the death penalty as a punishment for murder. So, the person who murders is really killing himself at the same time he is killing his victim. The murderer has made the choice to die. It is important to remember that the death penalty is used only for people who have committed very serious crimes. For example, a woman shot a police officer when she was trying to escape from jail. She was already a convicted criminal when she committed murder, and she deserves the death penalty. In many countries, crimes become so severe that the law enforcers can't control the situation and capital punishment becomes a part of the law practice but there are many cases where a man/woman kills another one to protect him or herself. It's not uncommon when a girl kills a rapist to save her dignity and before pronouncing the death penalty the reason must be considered. Even if a single innocent person gets the death penalty that will make the judicial system questionable. People need to accept responsibility for their actions. Punishing murderers with the death penalty is one way that society can help people to realise the consequences of their decisions.
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Remove drafting label Original: (Mixed opinion) Suggested revision: Delete Why it matters: A planning label should not appear in the finished essay.
- 2. Add issue preposition Original: The issue whether Suggested revision: The issue of whether Why it matters: The noun ‘issue’ requires ‘of’ before a whether-clause.
- 3. Remove generic article Original: the murderers should be Suggested revision: murderers should be Why it matters: A general plural noun does not take ‘the’ here.
- 4. Add penalty article Original: punished with death penalty Suggested revision: punished with the death penalty Why it matters: The established noun phrase is ‘the death penalty’.
- 5. Remove repeated meaning Original: death penalty as a capital punishment Suggested revision: death penalty as punishment Why it matters: The death penalty is already a form of capital punishment, so the modifier is redundant.
- 6. Use law-order collocation Original: a vital way to establish peace and law Suggested revision: an important means of maintaining peace and order Why it matters: Societies maintain ‘peace and order’, not ‘peace and law’.
- 7. Use formal opposition phrase Original: lots of opinions against it Suggested revision: many arguments against it Why it matters: The revised phrase is more formal and precise.
- 8. Avoid contraction Original: if it's really necessary Suggested revision: if it is really necessary Why it matters: The uncontracted form is more appropriate in academic writing.
- 9. Use natural peace phrase Original: prevailing Suggested revision: maintaining Why it matters: ‘Prevailing peace’ is not natural in this purpose phrase.
- 10. Use remorse expression Original: a chance to remorse Suggested revision: a chance to show remorse Why it matters: ‘Remorse’ is a noun and cannot follow ‘to’ as a verb.
- 11. Remove double connector Original: , and then they Suggested revision: , then they Why it matters: Using both ‘and’ and ‘then’ after the conditional clause is redundant.
- 12. Use report collocation Original: lots of murders and other crime news Suggested revision: many reports of murders and other crimes Why it matters: ‘Crime news’ does not coordinate naturally with a count of murders.
Suggested Rewrites
- (Mixed opinion) Delete
- The issue whether The issue of whether
- the murderers should be murderers should be
- punished with death penalty punished with the death penalty
- death penalty as a capital punishment death penalty as punishment
- a vital way to establish peace and law an important means of maintaining peace and order
Why this response received Band 6.0
The essay offers a recognisable conditional defence of capital punishment and raises relevant points about deterrence, responsibility, self-defence, and wrongful execution. Its main limitation is focus and organisation: life imprisonment is barely evaluated, the position is not consistently restated, and all 469 words appear in one paragraph. Prioritise a direct comparison between execution and life imprisonment, organised into clear argument, qualification, and conclusion paragraphs.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Detailed feedback by IELTS writing criterion after the annotated essay.
Task Response
A qualified position on capital punishment is presented with several relevant arguments, but life imprisonment is scarcely assessed and the final stance lacks a clear comparative conclusion.
Directly evaluate whether life imprisonment better serves punishment, deterrence, rehabilitation, and protection from wrongful execution before restating a precise position.
Coherence and Cohesion
The ideas have a broadly understandable sequence, but the unbroken paragraph, repeated assertions, and loose transitions significantly weaken progression and grouping.
Use separate paragraphs for the position, deterrence case, limitations and exceptions, comparison with life imprisonment, and final judgement.
Lexical Resource
There is adequate crime-and-justice vocabulary, but frequent inaccurate or awkward choices reduce precision while the main meaning remains clear.
Use natural terms such as ‘feel remorse’, ‘murderers’, ‘deterrent’, ‘reduce homicide’, ‘legal practice’, and ‘impose a death sentence’.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
The response attempts varied structures, but article, agreement, punctuation, clause-linking, and conditional errors occur frequently throughout.
Break long sentences into controlled clauses and correct forms such as ‘the question of whether’, ‘an alternative’, ‘deters homicide’, and ‘if one innocent person is executed’.
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IELTS Writing Task 2
By punishing murderers with the death penalty, society is also guilty of committing murder. Therefore, life in prison is a better punishment for murderers. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.