It is observed in many countries that less and less people nowadays go to the cinema to watch movies. What could be the possible cause and solution of this?
Sample Response
It is true that cinemas have not been attracting much public these days. There could be several reasons for this trend and to change this it is necessary to take some measures to make cinemas attractive again. There are various reasons why people are not going to the cinema as much lately. One of the reasons is the easy access to the internet and the availability of thousands of movies to be downloaded. If one can watch a movie for free at home, it is hard to find a motivation to pay for it at the cinema. Another reason is that the price of the tickets has increased significantly. It is undeniable that the recent advances in technology have improved the experience of watching a movie in several ways. However, cinemas need to find better solutions to manage the costs of this new technology without overcharging the customers. Some measures are quite simple to put in place and can make a huge difference in the attendance numbers. For example, the creation of promotions that reduce the price of the ticket on specific days of the week or give a discount to loyal customers. Another action that could be taken is to promote more the launching of a new movie. One example would be to create an event related to the theme of the movie, like a costume session for people to dress up like the characters of the movie. In conclusion, there are several actions that can be taken to attract people to the cinemas again. It is a matter of showing them that they are getting a good value for their money.
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Use countable audience noun Original: attracting much public Suggested revision: attracting many people Why it matters: ‘Public’ is not used as a countable group after ‘much’ in this context.
- 2. Add introductory comma Original: to change this it is necessary Suggested revision: to change this, it is necessary Why it matters: A comma is needed after the introductory infinitive phrase.
- 3. Remove unnecessary article Original: the easy access to the internet Suggested revision: easy access to the internet Why it matters: ‘Access’ is uncountable here and does not require ‘the’.
- 4. Use availability phrase Original: movies to be downloaded Suggested revision: movies available for download Why it matters: The revision describes the available content more naturally than the passive infinitive.
- 5. Use uncountable motivation Original: find a motivation to pay Suggested revision: find motivation to pay Why it matters: ‘Motivation’ is normally uncountable when referring generally to a reason for acting.
- 6. Remove generic article Original: overcharging the customers Suggested revision: overcharging customers Why it matters: No article is needed when referring to customers generally.
- 7. State the effect directly Original: make a huge difference in the attendance numbers Suggested revision: significantly increase attendance Why it matters: The revision gives the intended numerical effect in a concise, measurable form.
- 8. Fix adverb placement Original: promote more the launching of a new movie Suggested revision: promote the launch of a new movie more extensively Why it matters: The adverb belongs after the object, and ‘launch’ is the appropriate noun.
- 9. Remove unnecessary article Original: getting a good value for their money Suggested revision: getting good value for their money Why it matters: The fixed expression is ‘good value for money’ without an article.
- 10. Use confident framing Original: There could be several reasons for this trend Suggested revision: There are several reasons for this trend Why it matters: The response proceeds to identify definite causes, so the direct present-tense claim is clearer.
- 11. Use precise appeal term Original: attractive Suggested revision: appealing Why it matters: ‘Appealing’ more naturally describes something that attracts customers.
- 12. State the trend concisely Original: not going to the cinema as much lately Suggested revision: visiting cinemas less often Why it matters: The revision expresses declining attendance directly and concisely.
Suggested Rewrites
- attracting much public attracting many people
- to change this it is necessary to change this, it is necessary
- the easy access to the internet easy access to the internet
- movies to be downloaded movies available for download
- find a motivation to pay find motivation to pay
- overcharging the customers overcharging customers
Why this response received Band 7.0
The response directly addresses both causes and solutions, offering a clear progression from home viewing and ticket prices to discounts and themed promotions. The principal weakness is that some ideas, especially managing technology costs, remain briefly explained, and the single-block presentation obscures the otherwise sound organisation. Prioritise fuller cause-and-effect development and separate the response into clear functional paragraphs.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Response
Relevant causes and practical solutions are presented clearly, with several ideas supported by explanation or examples.
Explain more concretely how cinemas could control technology costs and how that action would increase attendance.
Coherence and Cohesion
The cause-to-solution sequence is easy to follow, but the lack of paragraph breaks weakens the visible organisation.
Separate the introduction, causes, solutions, and conclusion into purposeful paragraphs with clear topic sentences.
Lexical Resource
The response uses an adequate range of topic vocabulary, though several collocations are awkward or imprecise.
Use more natural phrases in place of 'attracting much public', 'promote more the launching', and 'costume session'.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
Sentence structures show good variety and are mostly well controlled, with occasional fragments and minor form errors.
Convert fragmentary examples into complete sentences and check article and plural choices during proofreading.
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IELTS Writing Task 2
It is observed in many countries that less and less people nowadays go to the cinema to watch movies. What could be the possible cause and solution of this?
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.