In recent time economic growth has made some people richer in both developed and developing countries. While studies show that people in developing countries are happier now than before, people in developed countries are no happier than they were before. Why do you think this is and what lessons can be learned from it?
Sample Response
The world economy has improved significantly in the past few years and made several people become wealthier in both advanced and developing countries. Based on the research, it is found that people who live in developing countries are enjoying their lives more than before nowadays, while those who live advanced countries are no happier that before. The following essay will discuss in details about some of the reasons and what can we learn from it.
On the one hand, it is a fact the world economic has grown rapidly in the past recent years. Many developing and developed countries have experienced some positive improvements in the economic sectors, as their GDP have increased and inflation rate got lower. Some of the people have taken the advantage and as a consequence, they became richer. The economic growth has created a lot of new billionaires these days, such as the CEO of Air Asia Tony Fernandez and the Mital Family from India.
Based on some scientific studies, it is found that people who live in developing countries are happier than ever nowadays, as their economic condition has grown rapidly in the past few years. As some of the people’s lives and economic status have changed dramatically from poor to middle-income class, they felt grateful and pleased with the improvement and enjoyed their lives. In contrast to the condition above, developed countries’ people are no happier than they were before. Should there be any improvement in their economic status, it would not give any significant changes into their way of lives, as they already have a high standard of living. Many of them already have their own properties and vehicles, and their government already provided them with good public health, education and transportation system. Therefore it is harder for them to feel grateful in terms of their economic condition.
In conclusion, it is true that the world economic have grown rapidly in the past few decades, and it has made some of the people in developing and developed countries become wealthier. Is it reported that as the economic sector in developing countries are growing, the people are feeling are happier than ever before, as many of them have experienced drastic changes in their ways of living. Many of them have successfully escaped from poverty problems and change their economic status. On the other hand, many people who live in advanced countries are no happier than before, as they already live in a better and comfort situation.
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Fix causative structure Original: made several people become wealthier Suggested revision: made many people wealthier Why it matters: After “make,” the adjective can directly describe the object without “become.”
- 2. Fix discuss phrase Original: discuss in details about Suggested revision: discuss in detail Why it matters: “Discuss” takes a direct object, and the fixed phrase is singular “in detail.”
- 3. Use indirect question order Original: what can we learn from it Suggested revision: what we can learn from this Why it matters: An indirect question uses statement word order rather than inversion.
- 4. Fix clause and noun Original: it is a fact the world economic has grown Suggested revision: it is a fact that the world economy has grown Why it matters: The clause needs “that,” and “economy” is the required noun.
- 5. Remove redundant time word Original: past recent years Suggested revision: recent years Why it matters: “Recent” already refers to the near past, so “past” is redundant.
- 6. Remove redundant adjective Original: positive improvements Suggested revision: improvements Why it matters: An improvement is inherently positive in this context.
- 7. Fix plural agreement Original: GDP Suggested revision: GDPs Why it matters: Several countries have separate GDP figures, so the plural noun agrees with “have.”
- 8. Use economic collocation Original: inflation rate got lower Suggested revision: inflation rates have fallen Why it matters: “Inflation rates have fallen” is the standard formal expression.
- 9. Remove incorrect article Original: taken the advantage Suggested revision: taken advantage Why it matters: The fixed expression “take advantage” does not use “the.”
- 10. Correct economic collocation Original: their economic condition has grown rapidly Suggested revision: their economic circumstances have improved rapidly Why it matters: Economic circumstances improve rather than grow.
- 11. Clarify status change Original: from poor to middle-income class Suggested revision: from poverty into the middle-income group Why it matters: The replacement describes movement between economic conditions grammatically.
- 12. Fix people phrase Original: developed countries’ people Suggested revision: people in developed countries Why it matters: The prepositional phrase is the natural way to identify residents of these countries.
Suggested Rewrites
- made several people become wealthier made many people wealthier
- discuss in details about discuss in detail
- what can we learn from it what we can learn from this
- it is a fact the world economic has grown it is a fact that the world economy has grown
- past recent years recent years
- positive improvements improvements
Why this response received Band 6.0
The response’s strongest feature is its understandable comparison between the dramatic gains experienced in developing countries and the already high living standards in developed ones. However, it answers only why happiness differs and does not address the explicit question about lessons to be learned. Prioritise adding a developed lesson, such as governments measuring progress through wellbeing and distributing growth broadly, and connect it directly to the explanation.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Response
The explanation of differing happiness levels is relevant and developed, but the required discussion of lessons is entirely missing and one paragraph largely restates the prompt’s premise.
Add a distinct paragraph explaining what policymakers or individuals should learn from the limited relationship between additional wealth and happiness.
Coherence and Cohesion
Information is arranged in a generally logical sequence with clear paragraphing, although progression is weakened by repetition and the incomplete “On the one hand” structure.
Give each paragraph a precise function and replace repeated restatement of the economic-growth premise with a paragraph answering the second question.
Lexical Resource
The response has sufficient range to discuss economic status and living standards, but frequent collocational and word-form errors reduce naturalness and precision.
Use accurate forms and collocations such as “the world economy,” “standards of living,” “comfortable circumstances,” and “take advantage of.”
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
A mix of simple and complex sentence forms communicates the main ideas, but frequent agreement, article, preposition, and tense errors persist throughout.
Check subject–verb agreement and tense consistency, particularly when moving between research findings, past economic change, and present happiness.
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IELTS Writing Task 2
In recent time economic growth has made some people richer in both developed and developing countries. While studies show that people in developing countries are happier now than before, people in developed countries are no happier than they were before. Why do you think this is and what lessons can be learned from it?
Your response
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