Some people believe that children's leisure activities must be educational, otherwise they are a complete waste of time. Do you agree or disagree?
Sample Response
In the past, children had more leisure time to do various types of activities such as playing games, walking in the parks and gossiping with others. But, now they have no free time due to the fact that this world is becoming more competitive in terms of educational activities. While I cogitate that this policy has some benefits, I believe that children should allow using their free time, and it has more advantages. On the one hand, there are some effective conveniences to the student life when they will occupy with study instead of wasting time by playing, walking, and gossiping. Firstly, by spending time with educational activities is one of the significant trends because students can increase their knowledge with this habit. This could result immense advantages to the students whenever they will confront their future life. Secondly, in some countries, it is not easy to get admitted in colleges or universities without sound academic results. So students who want to be a part of tertiary education in these countries need to learn whenever they get any time. For instance, many countries like Sudan have few universities although they have a vast number of students. From the above explanation, it is apparent that children should utilise their time properly. On the other hand, it can be argued why kids require free time to spend their own ways. One important point is that the children, who expend their leisure time with play and other extracurricular activities, they can improve their mental as well as physical growth. As an example, if the students play cricket and football, they can learn leadership, responsibility, and so on. Another important point is that the practical knowledge of the students will increase if they involve with some extracurricular activities. As an example, many famous scientists like Einstein was always engaging with extracurricular activities rather than studying. This example makes it explicit that children should permit to use free time in order to increase their intelligence. In conclusion, it is consequential that children need to play besides the study in order to increase their basic knowledge. I deem that students should bestow some free time to use their own way that would be augmented to their bright future.
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Remove misplaced comma Original: But, now Suggested revision: But now Why it matters: A comma should not separate the coordinating conjunction from the rest of this introductory phrase.
- 2. Use natural verb Original: cogitate Suggested revision: accept Why it matters: This formal verb means to think deeply and does not naturally express acknowledging a benefit.
- 3. Correct passive structure Original: children should allow using their free time Suggested revision: children should be allowed to use their free time Why it matters: Children receive permission here, so the passive form and infinitive are required.
- 4. Clarify the reference Original: it has more advantages Suggested revision: giving them this freedom has more advantages Why it matters: The pronoun does not clearly identify what has the advantages.
- 5. Use precise noun Original: effective conveniences Suggested revision: clear benefits Why it matters: Conveniences does not naturally describe the educational gains discussed here.
- 6. Correct preposition Original: to the student life Suggested revision: for students Why it matters: Benefits are normally described as being for people rather than to their lives.
- 7. Fix verb construction Original: they will occupy with study Suggested revision: they occupy themselves with studying Why it matters: Occupy requires a reflexive object here, and with is followed by a gerund.
- 8. Remove dangling preposition Original: by spending time with educational activities is Suggested revision: spending time on educational activities is Why it matters: The by-phrase cannot function as the subject of is in this construction.
- 9. Improve collocation Original: with Suggested revision: through Why it matters: Through more naturally expresses the means by which knowledge is gained.
- 10. Add required preposition Original: result immense advantages Suggested revision: result in immense advantages Why it matters: Result takes in when it means to produce an outcome.
- 11. Correct beneficiary preposition Original: to the students Suggested revision: for students Why it matters: For is the natural preposition when naming who receives an advantage.
- 12. Fix time clause Original: whenever they will confront their future life Suggested revision: when they enter adult life Why it matters: A future time clause normally uses the present tense, and confront life is not idiomatic.
Suggested Rewrites
- But, now But now
- cogitate accept
- children should allow using their free time children should be allowed to use their free time
- it has more advantages giving them this freedom has more advantages
- effective conveniences clear benefits
- to the student life for students
Why this response received Band 6.0
The response presents a clear overall preference for allowing children leisure time and supports both educational and extracurricular perspectives with relevant examples. Its main limitation is that several ideas are expressed imprecisely and sometimes drift into general claims rather than directly evaluating whether non-educational activities are wasteful. Prioritize clearer explanation of how each example proves the position, alongside more natural grammar and word choice.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Response
The question is addressed with a discernible position and relevant reasons on both sides, although some support remains general or only loosely connected to the central claim.
Explain more directly why each educational or recreational example proves that leisure activities need not be educational to have value.
Coherence and Cohesion
The response follows a clear introduction-body-conclusion structure, but progression is sometimes mechanical and several sentences connect ideas awkwardly.
Use fewer formulaic transitions and build each paragraph around one clearly sequenced claim, explanation, and example.
Lexical Resource
There is a reasonable range of topic vocabulary, but frequent inappropriate collocations and overambitious choices reduce precision and naturalness.
Prefer accurate common expressions such as allow children to use their free time over forced choices such as bestow or augmented.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
A mix of simple and complex structures is attempted, but frequent errors in verb forms, complementation, agreement, and sentence construction weaken control.
Focus on accurate verb patterns and clause structures, especially allow someone to do, engage in, and conditional forms without unnecessary future tense.
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IELTS Writing Task 2
Some people believe that children's leisure activities must be educational, otherwise they are a complete waste of time. Do you agree or disagree?
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.