Some people believe that children's leisure activities must be educational, otherwise they are a complete waste of time. Do you agree or disagree?
Sample Response
The manner in which children spendspent their free time varies greatly from one child to anothervaries greatly from one to another. It is argued that pupils should be involved in educational tasks during this timetasks which are related to education in this period. However, I believe that utilising spare interval performing physical activities and watching television will help recuperate their health and concentration. To begin with, young people are required to engage in physical activityperform body movements to improve their physical abilitiesfor improving their physical abilities. A good illustration for this is the activity planned in the school timetable which always include some periods dedicated to sports. As a result, they are forced to get involved in the activities which require motion resulting in maintaining their fitness level. Thus, it is apparent that doing such exercises will contribute towards the physical development of a child. In addition, continuous focus ontowards studies can result in problems with concentrationthe problems related to the concentration. For instance, if a student is asked to perform an educational task during their free time as wellin his extra time also, they may begin to feelthere are chances that he might start feeling frustrated by their studiesfrustrated with studies. Instead, if he uses this time to watch televisionutilises this span for watching television, they can relax and thereby becomehe can feel relaxed and thereby, he will be more attentive when he starts learning again. Therefore, it is obvious that such breaks will help them improve their concentrationhelp them to enhance the attention level. In conclusion, engaging in non-educational activitiesgetting engrossed in activities other than education not only helps improve physical healthhelps to improve the health but also supports mental well-beingfosters the mental fitness. Thus, this clearly debunks the idea that pupils should only perform tasks which aim to build knowledgeaim towards the acquisition of knowledge in order to avoid wasting time. It is expected that parents will be made aware of the advantages of spending free time on other activitiesfree moments doing other tasks for the children Deletein the foreseeable future.
Why this response received Band 6.5
The response maintains a clear disagreement and supports it with two relevant benefits of non-academic leisure, using explanations and examples that are easy to follow. However, the entire answer is presented as one paragraph and several awkward word combinations weaken precision. The highest priority is to divide the argument into purposeful paragraphs and replace unnatural phrases with simpler, idiomatic wording while preserving the clear line of reasoning.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Response
A clear position is sustained throughout, and the physical and mental benefits of non-educational leisure are relevantly explained and illustrated.
Strengthen the argument by making the examples more directly about freely chosen leisure rather than scheduled school activities.
Coherence and Cohesion
The ideas follow a clear progression with effective signposting, but presenting the whole response as one paragraph weakens organisation.
Separate the introduction, each main reason, and the conclusion into distinct paragraphs with one controlling purpose each.
Lexical Resource
The response uses a sufficient range of topic vocabulary, though recurring awkward collocations make several points sound unnatural.
Prefer precise combinations such as free time, physical health, sustained concentration, and educational activities over forced or overly formal wording.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
There is a useful range of complex structures, but recurring agreement, article, preposition, and construction errors limit grammatical control.
Check every complex sentence for subject-verb agreement and remove unnecessary articles or prepositions before finalising the response.
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IELTS Writing Task 2
Some people believe that children's leisure activities must be educational, otherwise they are a complete waste of time. Do you agree or disagree?
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.