An increasing number of people work from home these days and stay in touch with their office using computer technology. What are the effects on employees of working from home?
Sample Response
Technology is an inevitable part in our life, expecially, in the current scenario. One cannot think of a situation where technology is absent. As a matter of fact, technology is that ‘moral fabric’ which binds the humans together.
Due to the technological advancement/development, there have been instances where the human race has benefitted and also has been at the receiving end. One of the technologies which have cut across all the ages of mankind is the Computer Technology. The concept of ‘work from home’, ‘flexible timing’ are nothing but the by-products of this ever changing, revolutionary but useful technology. ‘Work from home’ and ‘Flexible timings’ situations provide the people (read employees) to balance their office as well as personal work. Furthermore, with the help of computer technology, the employees are also able to be in constant touch with their office, from the comfort of their homes.
This not only increases the productivity of the employees but also enhances their belongingness and commitment towards their organisation. However, due to computer technology, the employees are approachable throughout the day and sometimes even during odd hours. This may, though not quite often, lead to the breach of privacy, which ultimately results in low productivity by the employee. However, much depends on the environment and mental attitude of the employee. As the same boiling water which hardens the egg also softens the potato, similarly, there are different effects of this computer technology on different employees. A recent case, which was published in the last week edition of a well-known newspaper, had been an eye-opener for working professionals who, though, work from home but stay in touch with their employer due to this computer technology.
Due to the work pressure of year closing an employee, who used to work from home over his laptop, of XUA Company didn’t have ample rest for a week. As a result of this, the employee had to pay for his life due to the accident which occurred while driving his family for a late night movie.
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Preposition and number Original: part in our life Suggested revision: part of our lives Why it matters: Part takes of, and our requires a plural noun.
- 2. Spelling Original: expecially Suggested revision: especially Why it matters: Correct the spelling.
- 3. Vague phrase Original: in the current scenario Suggested revision: in modern working life Why it matters: This connects the opening to the task.
- 4. Misused metaphor Original: moral fabric Suggested revision: infrastructure Why it matters: Technology is not a moral fabric, and the metaphor distracts from remote work.
- 5. Slash construction Original: technological advancement/development Suggested revision: technological development Why it matters: Choose one precise term in formal prose.
- 6. Agreement Original: One of the technologies which have Suggested revision: One technology that has Why it matters: One is singular.
- 7. Unclear claim Original: cut across all the ages of mankind Suggested revision: transformed modern workplaces Why it matters: The original is exaggerated and historically inaccurate.
- 8. Compound subject Original: The concept of ‘work from home’, ‘flexible timing’ are Suggested revision: The concepts of working from home and flexible hours are Why it matters: The plural subject needs parallel noun forms.
- 9. Hyphenation Original: ever changing Suggested revision: ever-changing Why it matters: Hyphenate the compound adjective before a noun.
- 10. Verb pattern Original: provide the people Suggested revision: allow employees Why it matters: Provide does not take this infinitive pattern.
- 11. Natural noun phrase Original: enhances their belongingness Suggested revision: strengthens their sense of belonging Why it matters: This is the standard collocation.
- 12. Wrong adjective Original: employees are approachable Suggested revision: employees can be contacted Why it matters: Approachable describes manner, not constant availability.
Suggested Rewrites
- part in our life part of our lives
- expecially especially
- in the current scenario in modern working life
- moral fabric infrastructure
- technological advancement/development technological development
- One of the technologies which have One technology that has
Why this response received Band 6.0
The response identifies several relevant employee effects, including flexibility, work-life balance, productivity, commitment, constant availability and pressure. However, a lengthy generic opening delays the answer, the final anecdote is unclear and disproportionate, and there is no conclusion synthesising the overall impact. Focus directly on employees, organise positive and negative effects, and finish with a balanced judgement.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Detailed feedback by IELTS writing criterion after the annotated essay.
Task Response
A reasonable range of positive and negative effects is discussed, but some material is generic, the final example is implausibly extreme, and the response lacks a concluding synthesis.
Develop two or three direct effects with realistic explanation and state the conditions under which home working helps or harms employees.
Coherence and Cohesion
There is some paragraphing and contrast, but the introduction is off-focus, ideas repeat computer technology, and the ending is abrupt.
Organise the essay into a brief introduction, benefits, drawbacks and conclusion.
Lexical Resource
The response attempts varied vocabulary and figurative language, but spelling errors, awkward collocations and unnecessary capitalisation are frequent.
Use precise work vocabulary such as remote work, boundaries, availability, isolation, autonomy and burnout.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
Meaning is generally recoverable, but agreement, articles, punctuation, relative clauses and sentence structure errors recur.
Simplify long sentences and check singular-plural agreement and modifier placement.