An increasing number of people work from home these days and stay in touch with their office using computer technology. What are the effects on employees of working from home?

Same question Compare 5 different answers (Band 5.5–6)

Sample Response

Nowadays, there are more people who work from home and get connected to their workplace using the internet technology. The trend brings benefits for both employees and employers, and the following essay will discuss it in details.

It is a fact that with the existence of internet technology and portable computer, employees could get connected to their office's server and can do their tasks. As they have connected to their company's network, they could read and reply some emails or enter the office's working program. Besides that, they could communicate with their colleagues using chatting facilities such as Skype or instant messenger; therefore they are updated with the latest information in the office.

It is obvious that this advance technology brings mutual benefits for both workers and companies. The advantage for employees is that, when they could not go to the workplace due to some unexpected events, they could still be productive by working from their home. From the employer's point of view, the existence of this technology has been positively affected to their cost. Many companies hire employees to work from their home, as it reduces the space rental fee and saves the electricity cost as well. Besides that, these companies do not have to provide transportation allowance as well for their employees.

In conclusion, it is true the trend of people working from home using online technology is increasing these days. They could connect to their office's network and do their tasks from home. This development brings advantages for both the worker and the company; as it reduces the idle time of the worker, and save the company's expenses.

IELTS Writing Correction

  • 1. Remove article Original: the internet technology Suggested revision: internet technology Why it matters: The uncountable general term does not take 'the' here.
  • 2. Clarify reference Original: The trend brings benefits for both employees and employers Suggested revision: This trend brings benefits to both employees and employers Why it matters: 'This' links the claim directly to the preceding description of home working.
  • 3. Fix expression Original: discuss it in details Suggested revision: discuss these benefits in detail Why it matters: Use the singular fixed phrase 'in detail', and name the plural idea clearly.
  • 4. Use plural noun Original: computer Suggested revision: computers Why it matters: A general reference to this type of device requires the plural form.
  • 5. Use present modal Original: employees could get connected Suggested revision: employees can connect Why it matters: The paragraph describes a current general capability, so present 'can' is appropriate.
  • 6. Use natural modifier Original: office's Suggested revision: office Why it matters: The noun modifier is more natural than the possessive form in this technical phrase.
  • 7. Fix verb form Original: As they have connected Suggested revision: Once they are connected Why it matters: The passive form is needed because employees are connected to the network.
  • 8. Add preposition Original: some Suggested revision: to Why it matters: The verb 'reply' requires 'to' before its object.
  • 9. Choose precise wording Original: enter the office's working program Suggested revision: access the company's work applications Why it matters: 'Access applications' expresses the intended computer activity more naturally.
  • 10. Use natural collocation Original: using chatting facilities Suggested revision: using messaging services Why it matters: 'Messaging services' is the standard phrase for these communication tools.
  • 11. Punctuate connector Original: instant messenger; therefore they are updated Suggested revision: instant messaging; therefore, they stay updated Why it matters: The linking adverb needs a following comma, and 'messaging' is the natural activity noun.
  • 12. Use adjective form Original: advance Suggested revision: advanced Why it matters: 'Advanced' is the adjective needed to modify 'technology'.

Suggested Rewrites

  • the internet technology internet technology
  • The trend brings benefits for both employees and employers This trend brings benefits to both employees and employers
  • discuss it in details discuss these benefits in detail
  • computer computers
  • employees could get connected employees can connect
  • office's office
Overall assessment

Why this response received Band 6.0

The response's strongest feature is its clear explanation of how remote staff can access systems, communicate with colleagues and remain productive when they cannot travel to the office. Its main limitation is task focus: much of the discussion concerns technical processes and employer savings, leaving the range of employee consequences narrow. Prioritise direct analysis of employee outcomes such as flexibility, commuting time, isolation, work-life boundaries and career visibility.

Band score breakdown

IELTS Writing Criteria Scores

TR

Task Response

5.5
Scoring rule

Some relevant employee effects are identified, particularly continued productivity and communication, but substantial content explains the technology or employer cost savings instead of employee consequences.

Next step

Develop two or three direct effects on workers, explaining how remote work changes their flexibility, commuting, collaboration or work-life boundaries.

CC

Coherence and Cohesion

6.0
Scoring rule

The response has a recognisable introduction, development and conclusion, though repetition and a paragraph focused on technical access weaken progression toward the question.

Next step

Organise body paragraphs by employee outcome and remove repeated descriptions of connecting to the office network.

LR

Lexical Resource

6.0
Scoring rule

The vocabulary is adequate for remote work and workplace technology, but recurring collocation and word-form errors reduce precision.

Next step

Use natural phrases such as 'internet access', 'laptop computers', 'reply to emails', 'advanced technology' and 'reduce rental and electricity costs'.

GRA

Grammatical Range and Accuracy

5.5
Scoring rule

Both simple and complex forms are attempted, but inconsistent modal verbs, article errors, faulty passives and agreement mistakes recur.

Next step

Keep the time reference consistent with present-tense forms and revise structures such as 'has positively affected their costs' and 'saves company expenses'.

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IELTS Writing Task 2

An increasing number of people work from home these days and stay in touch with their office using computer technology. What are the effects on employees of working from home?

Your response

Words0
40:00

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