Developing countries require help offered by international organizations to ensure healthy and sustainable development. Some people think that financial aid is important. Others believe that practical aid and advice is more important. Discuss both views and give your opinion.
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Sample Response
In contemporary society, a growing number of people are more concerned about the international issue which is about which type of help should international institutions provide developing countries to ensure their healthy and sustainable development. Some individuals argue that financial supports are important while others maintain that practical assistanceassistances and suggestions are more necessary. I agree withIn my opinion, I agree with the latter view.
From the practical perspective, individuals insist that practical actions and advice can help underdeveloped countries to directly handle their realdirectly handle with their real problems effectively. Compared with financial supports, experts’ advice which is totally relevant to their actual situations can help these countries facefacing more complicated issues. For example, some countries in the Middle Eastmiddle east areas and Africa are enduring the lack of water, they need professional methods to deal with this ecological problem which results in high mortality rateshigh moralities instead of money. In addition, these underdeveloped countriescountry do not have enough people with higher education and professional knowledge. Just financial aid cannot help them be able to have these human resources immediately. In fact, the practical aid and advice means expert conceptsprofessional conceptions and developing strategies, which are what these nations urgently requirewhat they really want.
By contrast, we need to admit that financial aid is crucial for developing countries. There is a saying that economic basis determines the superstructuredetermines to the upward structures. Financial supports help developing countries to be able to buy new technology and to improve their infrastructureinfrastructures. Moreover, they can spend it on whatever they want according to their real requirements. However, due to a lack of professionaldue to lack professional experts with higher education and intelligent innovative perspectives, it is so hard for developing countries to keep developing, or avoid makingavoiding to making wrong decisions. In China, there is also a saying that teaching people how to fish instead of giving them fish. It is the similar situation. Financial supports are just the fish, but practical aid and advice is teaching them how to develop according to their specific situationsby their special situations.
In conclusion, although this issue remains a matter of debate, I believe thatif the position that practical aid and advice from international organisations stands out as the more balanced and practical one.
Why this response received Band 6.0
The essay effectively addresses both sides of the prompt and maintains a consistent opinion supported by relevant real-world examples and analogies. However, frequent grammatical inaccuracies and awkward word choices slightly reduce the overall clarity and precision of the arguments. The highest-priority improvement is to proofread for sentence structure completeness and core grammatical accuracy, particularly in complex sentence patterns.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Response
The response addresses both perspectives of the prompt and clearly presents a personal position that is developed with relevant supporting points.
Ensure the final conclusion sentence is grammatically complete so that the final statement of position is fully articulated.
Coherence and Cohesion
Information is organized logically across paragraphs with clear topic sentences and an overall functional progression.
Vary your transition phrases and linking devices to avoid repetitive structural frames across body paragraphs.
Lexical Resource
An adequate vocabulary range is demonstrated to discuss the topic, though word choice errors and unidiomatic phrasing occur regularly.
Focus on correct collocations and count/uncount distinctions, such as avoiding plural forms for uncountable nouns like aid and support.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
A mix of simple and complex structure attempts is present, but grammatical errors in verb forms, prepositions, and sentence structure are noticeable throughout.
Practice constructing complex conditional and relative clauses correctly to eliminate incomplete sentence fragments.