Write Women and men are commonly seen as having different strengths and weaknesses. Is it right to exclude males or females from certain professions because of their gender? What is your view? Explain your position.
Sample Response
Nature has made males and females with a different set of characteristics and these contrasts in feature make them adept at certain tasks, according to the common belief of the society. However, in this era, when gender equality has already been accepted and both males and females proved that they can be equally fit in any job, excluding a certain gender from a particular profession is no longer an acceptable and wise option. To begin with, according to the common social dogma, women should stay at home, take care of the kitchen and up-bring children while men should have a career, earn money and take important decisions for the family. Though this was a widely accepted idea in the past, it has started changing and women in certain professions have outnumbered their male counterparts. For instance, the number of female teachers has already exceeded the number of male teachers in many countries according to an online report. On the other hand, men have proven that they can be as good as females in child care and nursing. The time has come to forget the old dogma and accept the fact that gender equality is longer an option, but a must in job sectors. Women are no longer ready to be confined within the walls while males have forgotten their prejudices and started switching the roles. Furthermore, while selecting someone for a job, the authority should look for a suitable candidate and that person can be either a male or female. The widely held belief that women are less suitable in professions that require physical strength, logical reasoning, mental power, diplomacy and dealing with others is no longer acceptable in the society. Many female presidents and prime ministers in the world have proved that it is a baseless theory and tech giants lie Google, Microsoft, Facebook and Yahoo! Do not employ people based on their gender, rather they put more emphasis on someone’s quality and potential. To draw a conclusion to the discussion, despite some physical differences, both men and women have similar talents and possibility. The old dogma of gender-based role is no longer tolerable in the modern era and this is why someone’s talent and skill should be the primary reasons for the suitability for a job, not the gender of the candidate.
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Use natural noun phrase Original: contrasts in feature Suggested revision: differences in characteristics Why it matters: This phrase uses an unnatural collocation and an incorrect singular noun.
- 2. Correct preposition Original: common belief of the society Suggested revision: common belief in society Why it matters: The belief exists in society, so the preposition and article should be revised.
- 3. Use present perfect Original: both males and females proved Suggested revision: both males and females have proved Why it matters: The present perfect is needed for evidence accumulated up to the present.
- 4. Correct phrasal verb Original: up-bring children Suggested revision: bring up children Why it matters: The verb meaning to raise children is the phrasal verb “bring up.”
- 5. Use natural collocation Original: take Suggested revision: make Why it matters: “Make decisions” is the standard collocation in this context.
- 6. Restore missing negation Original: is longer an option Suggested revision: is no longer an option Why it matters: The missing “no” reverses the intended meaning of the claim.
- 7. Use precise wording Original: a must in job sectors Suggested revision: essential in the workplace Why it matters: This revision expresses the point more naturally and precisely.
- 8. Remove unnecessary article Original: started switching the roles Suggested revision: started switching roles Why it matters: The general plural noun “roles” does not require “the” here.
- 9. Remove unnecessary article Original: acceptable in the society Suggested revision: acceptable in society Why it matters: “Society” is used in a general sense and therefore takes no article.
- 10. Correct mistaken word Original: lie Suggested revision: like Why it matters: “Lie” is a spelling error for the comparison word “like.”
- 11. Correct capitalization Original: Do Suggested revision: do Why it matters: The verb continues the same sentence after the company name and should not be capitalized.
- 12. Choose parallel noun Original: possibility Suggested revision: potential Why it matters: “Potential” matches the intended meaning and forms a natural pairing with “talents.”
Suggested Rewrites
- contrasts in feature differences in characteristics
- common belief of the society common belief in society
- both males and females proved both males and females have proved
- up-bring children bring up children
- take make
- is longer an option is no longer an option
Why this response received Band 6.5
The response presents a clear, consistent position against gender-based exclusion and supports it with several relevant professional examples. Its main limitation is that the reasoning sometimes relies on broad assertions, while inaccurate collocations and the absence of clear paragraph breaks weaken precision and readability; the highest-priority improvement is to organise the two main arguments into distinct paragraphs and develop each with more specific, carefully worded evidence.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Response
A clear position is sustained throughout, with relevant arguments and examples that are generally developed.
Replace broad claims about social change with one or two more specific examples whose relevance is fully explained.
Coherence and Cohesion
The argument progresses logically through social roles, workplace suitability, and a consistent conclusion, but the single-block presentation weakens paragraph-level organisation.
Separate the introduction, each main argument, and the conclusion into clear paragraphs with focused central ideas.
Lexical Resource
The response uses a reasonably wide topic-specific vocabulary, although several word choices and collocations are inaccurate or unnatural.
Prioritise precise combinations such as gender roles, professional suitability, and skills and potential, and proofread for missing words.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
A variety of complex structures communicates the argument clearly, but recurring article, agreement, punctuation, and word-form errors reduce control.
Check each long sentence for complete clause structure, accurate agreement, and correctly placed punctuation before submitting.
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IELTS Writing Task 2
Write Women and men are commonly seen as having different strengths and weaknesses. Is it right to exclude males or females from certain professions because of their gender? What is your view? Explain your position.
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.