Some governments say how many children a family can have in their country should be strictly controlled. They may control the number of children someone has through taxes. It is sometimes necessary and right for a government to control the population in this way. Do you agree or disagree?
Sample Response
Over population is a great concern for many under-developed countries and the government takes many steps to control the uncontrolled increase of population. In many countries, government impose rules to restrict the number of children a family can have and also restricts many facilities in case a family has too many children. But imposing a tax to restrict the number of children in a family is not a feasible solution. In my opinion, other ways of controlling the population in a country should be considered rather than imposing the tax. First of all, the population is the main problem in most of the third world countries whereas the developed countries mostly have control over that issue. In countries like china, the population is not a burden rather they have been able to use the large population as the main workforce for the steady improvement of the country. Overpopulation in an under-developed country directly related to poverty, illiteracy, unhygienic lifestyle and crime. So controlling the population in these countries is a must and imposing a tax on the poor people would not be a good idea. The trends show that educated upper class and middle class do not take more than two children in these countries where the poor people seems like have no control on that. If the government imposes the tax on those poor people, their life would become more miserable. I completely agree that each government should maintain some policies and should impose strict rules to control the population a country has but increasing awareness and implementing other policies than tax imposing would be better solutions. In conclusion, I completely agree that the government of a country should take any initiative to control the over population growth but tax imposing to poor people is the least effective solution since there are many alternatives.
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Use one word Original: Over population is Suggested revision: Overpopulation is Why it matters: Overpopulation is written as a single word.
- 2. Use a general plural Original: the government takes many steps Suggested revision: governments take many steps Why it matters: The plural form suits the general reference to many countries and restores agreement.
- 3. Use the standard term Original: the uncontrolled increase of population Suggested revision: uncontrolled population growth Why it matters: Population growth is the natural collocation for an increase in population.
- 4. Fix number agreement Original: government Suggested revision: governments Why it matters: The general subject should be plural to agree with impose and many countries.
- 5. Fix agreement and collocation Original: also restricts many facilities Suggested revision: also restrict access to many services Why it matters: The plural subject requires restrict, and access to services expresses the intended restriction naturally.
- 6. Use the condition marker Original: in case a family has too many children Suggested revision: if a family has too many children Why it matters: If introduces the stated condition, whereas in case refers to a precaution.
- 7. Clarify the reference Original: imposing the tax Suggested revision: imposing such a tax Why it matters: Such a tax clearly refers back to the proposed population-control measure.
- 8. Use neutral terminology Original: most of the third world countries Suggested revision: most developing countries Why it matters: Developing countries is a more neutral and concise term.
- 9. Use a natural phrase Original: mostly have control over that issue Suggested revision: largely have that issue under control Why it matters: Have an issue under control is the natural collocation.
- 10. Add the missing verb Original: directly related to poverty Suggested revision: is directly related to poverty Why it matters: The sentence requires the finite verb is after its singular subject.
- 11. Use neutral terminology Original: an under-developed country Suggested revision: a developing country Why it matters: Developing country is the more current and neutral expression.
- 12. Use an appropriate phrase Original: unhygienic lifestyle Suggested revision: unhealthy living conditions Why it matters: Living conditions better expresses the broad social circumstances listed here.
Suggested Rewrites
- Over population is Overpopulation is
- the government takes many steps governments take many steps
- the uncontrolled increase of population uncontrolled population growth
- government governments
- also restricts many facilities also restrict access to many services
- in case a family has too many children if a family has too many children
Why this response received Band 6.0
The response presents a reasonably clear, qualified position: population control may be necessary, but taxation is unfair and ineffective for poorer families. Its strongest feature is the relevant connection between poverty and the unequal impact of taxes; however, the argument is repetitive, the alternatives remain vague, and the single-paragraph format obscures development. The priority is to explain specific non-tax policies and organise the reasoning into focused paragraphs using more accurate grammar and collocation.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Response
The essay answers the issue with a consistent distinction between supporting population policy and opposing taxation, but some claims are general and the proposed alternatives are not developed.
Name and explain two realistic alternatives, such as education and accessible family planning, and compare their likely effects with those of a child-related tax.
Coherence and Cohesion
The reasoning follows a broadly logical path from population pressure to the burden on poorer families and a qualified conclusion, but one continuous paragraph and substantial repetition weaken organisation.
Divide the response into an introduction, a paragraph on the need for control, a paragraph evaluating taxation and alternatives, and a concise conclusion.
Lexical Resource
The essay has sufficient vocabulary for population policy, but repetition and inaccurate combinations such as "take more than two children," "tax imposing," and "uncontrolled increase" reduce precision.
Use natural policy language such as "have more than two children," "imposing taxes," and "rapid population growth," while reducing repeated references to poor people.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
A range of sentence forms communicates the main argument, but recurring errors in agreement, articles, clause construction, and word forms show inconsistent control.
Check every sentence for a finite verb and matching subject, especially "overpopulation is directly related," "the poor seem," and "governments impose rules."
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IELTS Writing Task 2
Some governments say how many children a family can have in their country should be strictly controlled. They may control the number of children someone has through taxes. It is sometimes necessary and right for a government to control the population in this way. Do you agree or disagree?
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.