Some people say that health care and education should be the responsibility of the government but others think that it is the responsibility of the individuals themselves. Discuss both views and give your opinion.
Sample Response
In today's world, healthcare and education are two of the most important aspects of people's livestwo most important parts of people's life. Further, without proper education and a sufficient health care systemwithout proper education and sufficient health care system, a country can’t develop. However, the government has the responsibilityresponsible to create a healthy nation. Personally, I believe that the government should provide basic needs to create a healthy life and an educated nation independently.
Everyone prefersprefer to have a fascinating life, but we cannot do whatever we want. Therefore, we have sacrificed some, such as drugs, tobacco, alcohol, and junk foods etc. for a healthy life. NowadaysIn the present days, people are busy with their day to day work. As a result, the majorityAs a result majority of them do not have balanced dietsare not having balanced diets and some of them eattake fast food or junk food. They do not concern health and also it will cause many diseases in future. For example, obesity and diabetes.obesity, diabetes etc Further, from athe young age everyone should careconcern about their health. In particular, people should not onlyEspecially people not only should think about the physical health but also consider the mental health.
That is why the government should provide better health care and education for all citizens. The government is funded by taxes paid by the country's workforcecreated by the taxes from valuable workforces of their country. Therefore, the government has the responsibility to offer them free health care facilities, health education programmes,heath education programme: such as healthy diet, clinics or hospitals for free medicine, etc. Further, the government can use social media to deliver health and education programmesdistribute health and education programme. Because nowadays, the majority of people are connected throughin social media. For example Facebook and Twitter.facebook, twitter etc. In addition, the government should implement such a law in order to increase a balanced lifestyle. For instance, due to the overpopulation of China, they have limited only one child for one family.
In conclusion, when I consider all given points it is clear that the government alone cannot createonly the government cannot make a healthy nation. Therefore, individuals should take precautions to preventshould have concerns to prevent future health issues. However, the government should enforce such a law in order to increase our standard of lifestyle and also provide basic needs to the people who are expected from the government. In fact, in my opinion, the government and individuals are both responsible for building a healthy nation.
Why this response received Band 5.5
The response has a recognisable paragraph structure and ultimately states that government and individuals share responsibility. However, it concentrates almost entirely on health care, leaving education largely unaddressed, and frequent language errors weaken clarity and precision. The highest-priority improvement is to plan balanced coverage of both required services and both viewpoints, then support each with directly relevant explanations and examples.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Response
The response discusses shared responsibility for health but gives almost no substantive treatment of education and includes some irrelevant support.
Develop both health care and education from the government and individual perspectives with relevant examples.
Coherence and Cohesion
Paragraphing provides a basic progression, but connections between ideas are sometimes mechanical or unclear.
Give each paragraph one clearly defined claim and use linking expressions only where the logical relationship is explicit.
Lexical Resource
The response shows an adequate topic vocabulary, but frequent inaccurate word forms and collocations reduce precision.
Improve common combinations such as take responsibility for health, eat fast food, and fund public services through taxes.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
The writer attempts both simple and complex sentences, but frequent errors in agreement, articles, prepositions, and sentence construction persist.
Prioritise accurate clause structure and subject-verb agreement before adding further sentence complexity.
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IELTS Writing Task 2
Some people say that health care and education should be the responsibility of the government but others think that it is the responsibility of the individuals themselves. Discuss both views and give your opinion.
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.