In some countries, an increasing number of people are suffering from health problems as a result of eating too much fast food. It is, therefore, necessary for governments to impose a higher tax on this kind of food. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?
Sample Response
In the present era, people worldwideworld’s people are facing the troubling realitythe ultimate fact that younger generationsour young generations are experiencing severe health related illness from early in lifefrom the very beginning of their life and it is due to excess junk food consumption. To addressforbid the worrying condition, the government is taking several necessary stepsthe state is approaching some essential steps and one of them is an increase in taxesan enhancement of taxes on convenience food. Thus, I partially agree with the given opinion. As in today’s world, it is one of the most sparkling heated debates. I believe that our leaders should seekshould have an eye for finding out some other solutions because only increasing the taxes on fast foods will not reduce the amountwill not hamper the ratio of junk food intake.
First of all,First of all, as we know that, our teenagers are the prime consumers of convenience mealscustomers for the convenience meals, many of whomwhere most of them are unaware of devastating health hazards of eating junk foodfoods. At the same time we can ask, is it their fault? I don’t think so. They should be made aware of the long-term consequences of junk food consumption and this can be achieved in several waysit is plausible in several ways. For example, broadcasting health related adverts on children’s TV channels, introducing topics into their conventional education regarding dangerous health effects on fast food taking. In addition,In addition to, parents could play an important role in combating this worldwide problem by giving their children proper advice and guidance on maintaining a balanced dietguidelines of having balance diet.
Moreover, nowadays people are leading busy livesa busy pace of life. Thus they scarcely think of their regular diet, even some of them have no idea about what they are eating. Therefore, people are depending on takeaway meals for their daily livelihood. The government should impose rules on the working schedules so that folks could enjoy their meals with adequate nutritious knowledge.
To conclude, in some of the global areas folks are becoming more habituated to convenience food despite realising that they will suffer from heart diseases, obesity and dyslipidaemia in very near future, where only raising the food revenue will not slow down the tasty and unsafe junk food consumption.
Why this response received Band 6.0
The response establishes a discernible position and offers relevant alternatives such as education, parental guidance, and changes to working conditions. However, it gives limited direct analysis of whether higher taxation itself is necessary or effective, while frequent awkward collocations and grammatical lapses weaken precision. The highest-priority improvement is to develop a focused comparison of taxation with the proposed alternatives and support each claim with clear causal reasoning.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Response
A partial-agreement position is stated, but the essay mainly proposes alternatives and only briefly examines the tax policy in the question.
Explain explicitly whether a higher tax would reduce consumption, why it may be insufficient, and how the alternatives would work better.
Coherence and Cohesion
The response has a recognizable progression and paragraph structure, although some sentences and examples connect loosely to the central argument.
Give each body paragraph one clear controlling idea that directly supports the stated position on taxation.
Lexical Resource
The vocabulary shows reasonable range, but recurrent inaccurate collocations and word choices reduce clarity and naturalness.
Prioritize accurate combinations such as balanced diet, health effects of fast food, and reduce consumption over elaborate but imprecise wording.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
A mix of simple and complex forms is attempted, but frequent article, preposition, agreement, and sentence-boundary errors remain noticeable.
Edit each sentence for a complete clause structure and check articles, plurals, and prepositions before adding complex phrasing.
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IELTS Writing Task 2
In some countries, an increasing number of people are suffering from health problems as a result of eating too much fast food. It is, therefore, necessary for governments to impose a higher tax on this kind of food. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.