In some countries an increasing number of people are suffering from health problems as a result of eating too much fast food. It is therefore necessary for governments to impose a higher tax on this kind of food. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?
Sample Response
With the prevalence of fast food in some countries, especially in developed countries like the U.S.,U.S, an increasing number of people are suffering from health problems due to it.due to. Some people argue that governments should imposegovernment should imposing a higher tax on such food. In this essay both sides of high taxation on processed food will be discussed before reaching a conclusion. Admittedly, imposing a heavy taxposing heavy tax on processed food is an effective measure to curb this trend. Individuals, especially those who are price-sensitive, would have to choose alternative healthier food rather than processed food that isare usually unhealthy in order to control their total expenditure. However, it would be an omission not to consider the consequences that might be brought by high tax on fast food. It is often the case that individuals purchase high-calories fast food as their main source of nutrition simply due to the high price of organic and healthy food. Such pricey healthy food leaves the poor no choice but to consumeno choice but consuming fast food. Imposing a high taxPosing high tax on processed food would inevitably raise the living costs of those people, which may cause more serious negative repercussionsmore serious backfires like social instabilityinstability of society. In addition, people who consume more fast food often come from the lower classlower class compared with those who have a healthier diet. Introducing a taxtaxation mainly targeting the poortargeting at the poor raises a fundamental question about morality. In conclusion, although imposing a higher tax on high-calorieposing higher tax on high-calories fast food maybe effective in terms of making people choose healthy food, it also raises the living cost, especially for those who rely heavilyfor those rely heavily on fast food. Moreover, levying a taxation that mainly targets at the poor is morally questionable.
Why this response received Band 7.0
The essay presents a well-reasoned argument against taxing fast food by effectively highlighting the financial and ethical burdens it places on low-income populations. However, grammatical slips and incomplete phrasing occasionally interrupt the flow of the text. To raise the overall quality, focus on refining grammatical accuracy and eliminating sentence fragments, particularly in the introduction.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Response
The response directly addresses the prompt, maintaining a clear and well-supported position against the tax policy throughout the essay.
Avoid using formulaic background phrases in the introduction that suggest a balanced discussion when your stance is clearly defined.
Coherence and Cohesion
Paragraphing is logical and ideas progress clearly from acknowledging potential benefits to detailing significant drawbacks.
Strengthen transitions between paragraphs to create a smoother logical bridge between the economic arguments and the moral concerns.
Lexical Resource
A good range of topic-specific vocabulary is used accurately to discuss social class and economic impacts.
Ensure correct word forms and collocations, such as using 'high-calorie' instead of 'high-calories' as an adjective.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
A variety of complex structures are attempted, but recurring grammatical errors and an incomplete sentence fragment limit control.
Proofread carefully to eliminate verb form mistakes like 'should imposing' and complete all prepositional phrases before finalizing.
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IELTS Writing Task 2
In some countries an increasing number of people are suffering from health problems as a result of eating too much fast food. It is therefore necessary for governments to impose a higher tax on this kind of food. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.