In some countries an increasing number of people are suffering from health problems as a result of eating too much fast food. It is therefore necessary for governments to impose a higher tax on this kind of food. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?
Sample Response
With the prevalence of fast food in some countries, especially in developed countries like the U.S., an increasing number of people are suffering from health problems. Some people argue that governments should impose a higher tax on such food. In this essay, bothIn this essay both sides of high taxation on processed food will be discussed before reaching a conclusion. Admittedly, imposing a heavy tax on processed food is an effective measure to curb this trend. Individuals, especially those who are price-sensitive, would have to choose healthier alternativesalternative healthier food rather than processed food that is usually unhealthy in order to control their total expenditure. However, it would be an omission not to consider the consequences that might be brought about by a high taxbrought by high tax on fast food. It is often the case that individuals purchase high-calorie fast food as their main source of nutrition simply due to the high price of organic and healthy food. Such pricey healthy food leaves the poor no choice but to consume fast food. Imposing a high tax on processed food would inevitably raise the cost of living forraise the living costs of those people, which may cause more serious negative repercussions like social instability. In addition, people who consume more fast food often come from the lower class compared with those who have a healthier diet. Introducing a tax mainly targeting the poor raises a fundamental question about morality. In conclusion, although imposing a higher tax on high-calorie fast food maybe effective in terms of making people choose healthy food, it also increases the cost of living,raises the living cost, especially for those who rely heavily on fast food. Moreover, levying a tax that mainly targets the poor is morally questionable.
Why this response received Band 7.0
The essay presents a well-structured argument evaluating the tax on fast food, demonstrating strong critical reasoning and appropriate vocabulary. The main limitation is the introductory thesis, which frames the essay as a balanced discussion rather than directly declaring your personal stance from the outset. To improve your score, explicitly state your degree of agreement or disagreement in the introduction to establish a clear position immediately.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Response
You address all parts of the prompt with relevant arguments and present a consistent perspective throughout the main body and conclusion.
State your clear position or degree of agreement directly in the opening paragraph instead of using a neutral discussion statement.
Coherence and Cohesion
The response is logically organized with clear paragraphing and smooth transitions between opposing viewpoints.
Ensure paragraph transitions explicitly link back to your central opinion to strengthen the overall flow of argument.
Lexical Resource
You utilize a good range of topic-specific vocabulary and precise phrasing to express nuanced ideas effectively.
Continue expanding your control of naturally occurring word partnerships while avoiding minor word-form errors.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
A variety of complex sentence structures are used accurately with good control over grammar and punctuation overall.
Proofread carefully to eliminate minor grammatical slips, such as confusing the compound word 'maybe' with the verb phrase 'may be'.
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IELTS Writing Task 2
In some countries an increasing number of people are suffering from health problems as a result of eating too much fast food. It is therefore necessary for governments to impose a higher tax on this kind of food. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.