In some countries, more and more people are hiring a personal fitness trainer, rather than playing sports or doing exercise classes. What are the reasons for this? Is this a positive or a negative development?
Sample Response
The trend of hiring personal fitness coaches is gaining increasing popularity in different countries, especially among financially affluent people. There could be several reasons for this. Personally, I believe that it is a positive development.
The primary reason why many people choose to have a private fitness trainer is because of their expectations of a customised service from those professionals. One-to-one training with a professional trainer includes the best exercise routines, diet plans and other lifestyle modifications based on one's goal and health condition. This is why, so many celebrities and wealthy people in developed countries have personal fitness trainers. Moreover, these coaches keep people motivated and guide them to reach their fitness goals making it a more practical choice for people. For instance, one of our neighbours tried hard to shed some weight, as suggested by her physician, a couple of years ago. However, a lack of motivation never let her reach her goal. Once she hired a personal trainer, she reached her goal in just six months.
Hiring a personal fitness coach is a positive trend for the benefits it offers. First, fitness is not just exercising and losing weight, rather it is a combination of exercise, proper diet plans and a healthy daily routine. Once a personal trainer is engaged, she can guide the trainee to reach her fitness goals while also making sure that the person adopts a more healthy lifestyle. Motivation plays another important role here. When someone decides to play a sport or walk or run in the evening, she usually discontinues it in a couple of days or weeks. With a personal trainer, on the contrary, the person continues the journey to reach her fitness goals.
In conclusion, many people hire a fitness trainer to get personalised service and remain motivated. It is mostly a positive development because it helps people adopt a holistic approach to their fitness goals despite a busy lifestyle.
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Remove redundant growth wording Original: gaining increasing popularity Suggested revision: becoming increasingly popular Why it matters: Gaining and increasing repeat the same idea, while the revision is concise and natural.
- 2. Remove redundant meaning Original: financially affluent Suggested revision: affluent Why it matters: Affluent already means financially well-off, so financially is unnecessary.
- 3. Use a concise reason structure Original: The primary reason why Suggested revision: The primary reason Why it matters: Removing why avoids the redundant reason why construction.
- 4. Correct the reason clause Original: is because of their expectations of Suggested revision: is their expectation of Why it matters: The revision avoids the ungrammatical combination of reason and because of.
- 5. Remove the unnecessary comma Original: This is why, Suggested revision: This is why Why it matters: No comma should separate this linking phrase from its following clause.
- 6. Use the natural collocation Original: guide them to reach Suggested revision: help them reach Why it matters: Help someone reach a goal is the more natural collocation.
- 7. Separate the result clause Original: fitness goals making Suggested revision: fitness goals, making Why it matters: A comma is needed before the participle clause showing the result.
- 8. Use the standard phrase Original: shed some weight Suggested revision: lose weight Why it matters: Lose weight is the standard neutral collocation.
- 9. Use the comparative adjective Original: a more healthy lifestyle Suggested revision: a healthier lifestyle Why it matters: Healthier is the standard comparative form of healthy.
- 10. Use precise progress wording Original: continues the journey to reach Suggested revision: stays on track to reach Why it matters: Stays on track describes sustained adherence to a fitness goal more precisely.
- 11. Sentence rewrite Original: However, a lack of motivation never let her reach her goal. Suggested revision: However, her lack of motivation prevented her from reaching her goal. Why it matters: The rewrite corrects the causative structure while preserving the stated obstacle.
- 12. Separate the two benefits Suggested revision: Present the holistic lifestyle guidance first, then develop sustained motivation as a distinct second benefit without repeating earlier wording. Why it matters: This would make the progression between the two positive effects clearer.
Suggested Rewrites
- gaining increasing popularity becoming increasingly popular
- financially affluent affluent
- The primary reason why The primary reason
- is because of their expectations of is their expectation of
- This is why, This is why
- guide them to reach help them reach
Why this response received Band 8.0
The essay answers both questions directly, maintains a clear positive position, and develops customised guidance and motivation with a relevant real-life example. Its strongest feature is the convincing explanation of how trainers combine exercise, diet, lifestyle, and accountability. The main limitation is repetition of motivation across both body paragraphs; the priority is to distinguish the causes of hiring trainers from the broader social or health benefits of this development.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Response
Both the reasons and the positive evaluation are fully addressed with clear explanations and a relevant example, though some support overlaps.
Develop a distinct positive consequence, such as safer exercise for people with medical needs or improved long-term public health, rather than repeating motivation.
Coherence and Cohesion
The introduction, two focused body paragraphs, and conclusion create clear progression, with cohesive links generally used naturally.
Sharpen the division between the reasons paragraph and evaluation paragraph so each advances a different part of the task.
Lexical Resource
Vocabulary is flexible and precise for personalised training, health conditions, motivation, and holistic fitness, with occasional repetition and minor awkwardness.
Vary repeated terms such as 'fitness goals' and 'personal trainer' while avoiding inflated phrases like 'financially affluent people'.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
A wide range of complex structures is used with good control, though occasional punctuation, comparison, and clause-linking errors remain.
Remove the comma in 'This is why so many', clarify the participial clause after 'fitness goals', and use 'healthier' rather than 'more healthy'.
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IELTS Writing Task 2
In some countries, more and more people are hiring a personal fitness trainer, rather than playing sports or doing exercise classes. What are the reasons for this? Is this a positive or a negative development?
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.