Many old buildings protected by law are part of a nation’s history. Some people think they should be knocked down and replaced by news ones. How important is it to maintain old buildings? Should history stand in the way of progress?
Same question Compare 3 different answersSample Response
People believe that in this world, nothing is constant but change. Hence, in every detail of our lives, even on the simple aspect of infrastructures and housing, we expect change. Nowadays, the increasing number of the population has drastic need to destroy old houses and rebuild new ones that are more suitable for them. Some believe that this change is inevitable and essential, while some argue that historical houses should be preserved to protect history. In this essay, I will enumerate the importance of preserving old houses or buildings and will then give my opinion on the matter. First and foremost, preserving historical infrastructures is thought to be essential because it mirrors our ancestry and culture. Maintaining it will depict how we give importance to our heritage. For instance, the Ifugaos on the Mountain Province still lives in their old Nipa huts and refuses to adapt the modern style of houses. They argue that doing so will be a simple way to prove their love for their own culture. Moreover, maintaining old buildings will preserve the culture's identity. For instance, in some places in Malolos Bulacan, government officials encourage the people to preserve traditional Spanish style houses within the area. They point out that the place is well-known because of these houses and destroying it might become harmful to our culture and would also affect tourism. In summary, there is no doubt that protecting old houses and buildings is indeed important. However, I believe that a little change will not be harmful. We should take into consideration the changes that occur in the environment and somehow learn how to adapt while preserving the trace of our history.
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Remove vague filler Original: in this world Suggested revision: Delete Why it matters: The phrase is unnecessary because the claim already applies generally.
- 2. Use natural phrasing Original: on the simple aspect of infrastructures and housing Suggested revision: in basic areas such as infrastructure and housing Why it matters: The original phrase uses an unnatural preposition and treats infrastructure incorrectly as countable.
- 3. Correct population phrase Original: increasing number of the population Suggested revision: growing population Why it matters: Population growth is expressed naturally with the collocation "growing population".
- 4. Add article and verb Original: has drastic need Suggested revision: creates an urgent need Why it matters: The original construction lacks an article and does not link population growth logically to the need.
- 5. Choose precise verb Original: destroy Suggested revision: demolish Why it matters: "Demolish" is the more precise verb for intentionally taking buildings down.
- 6. Remove redundancy Original: rebuild Suggested revision: build Why it matters: "Rebuild" already implies construction again and conflicts with the idea of new replacement houses.
- 7. Complete contrast Original: some Suggested revision: others Why it matters: "Others" clearly contrasts the second group with the previously mentioned group.
- 8. Use correct adjective Original: historical Suggested revision: historic Why it matters: "Historic" more precisely describes buildings that have historical importance.
- 9. Use suitable verb Original: enumerate Suggested revision: explain Why it matters: "Enumerate" means list items and does not fit an explanation of importance.
- 10. Name the subject precisely Original: historical infrastructures Suggested revision: historic buildings Why it matters: "Infrastructure" is an unsuitable term for the individual houses and buildings under discussion.
- 11. Fix pronoun agreement Original: it mirrors our ancestry Suggested revision: they reflect our ancestry Why it matters: The pronoun and verb should agree with the plural subject "buildings".
- 12. Fix plural reference Original: it Suggested revision: them Why it matters: The pronoun should refer clearly to the plural historic buildings.
Suggested Rewrites
- in this world Delete
- on the simple aspect of infrastructures and housing in basic areas such as infrastructure and housing
- increasing number of the population growing population
- has drastic need creates an urgent need
- destroy demolish
- rebuild build
Why this response received Band 6.0
The response is strongest when explaining the cultural and tourism value of preserving historic buildings, using two relevant examples to support this case. Its main limitation is that the question about whether history should impede progress is addressed only briefly in the conclusion; the highest-priority improvement is to develop a separate, reasoned discussion of how preservation can be balanced with necessary redevelopment.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Response
The response presents a clear view on preservation and supports it with relevant examples, but gives limited development to the question of history obstructing progress.
Develop the second question in its own body paragraph by explaining when redevelopment is justified and how it can coexist with preservation.
Coherence and Cohesion
Ideas progress clearly through an introduction, two supporting examples, and a conclusion, although the two body paragraphs make closely overlapping points.
Give each body paragraph a distinct function, such as cultural value in one and the preservation-progress balance in the other.
Lexical Resource
The response uses a sufficient range of topic vocabulary, but several word choices and collocations, including uses of "infrastructures" and "adapt the modern style," are inaccurate.
Prioritise natural collocations such as "historic buildings," "population growth," and "adopt modern housing styles."
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
A mix of simple and complex structures communicates the argument clearly, despite recurring errors in agreement, articles, number, and pronoun reference.
Edit systematically for singular-plural agreement and matching pronouns, especially when referring to buildings, houses, and groups of people.
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IELTS Writing Task 2
Many old buildings protected by law are part of a nation’s history. Some people think they should be knocked down and replaced by news ones. How important is it to maintain old buildings? Should history stand in the way of progress?
Your response
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