Many old buildings protected by law are part of a nation’s history. Some people think they should be knocked down and replaced by news ones. How important is it to maintain old buildings? Should history stand in the way of progress?
Sample Response
Most nations around the world have at least some, or possibly many, old buildings such as temples, churches and houses in their cities, villages and surrounding areas which have historical significance. In my opinion, it is very important to maintain these, but this does not mean progress should stop.
Preserving certain old buildings is important for several reasons. Firstly, these structures provide an insight into the history of our countries, showing us how people many centuries ago lived their lives. Without them, we could only learn by books, and it would undoubtedly be sad if this were the only way to see them. Many of these buildings are also very beautiful. Take for example the many religious buildings such as churches and temples that we see around the world. Not only this, but on a more practical level, many of these buildings provide important income to a country as many tourists visit them in great numbers.
However, this certainly does not mean that modernization should be discouraged. I believe that old buildings can be protected in tandem with progress. For example, in many circumstances we see old historic buildings being renovated whilst maintaining their original character, and being used for modern purposes. Also, in no way does history hinder progress, and in fact it is the opposite. By studying and learning about our history, we understand more about the world we live in, and this helps us to build a better future.
To conclude, I believe that it is very important to protect and preserve old buildings as we can learn about our history as can others from other countries. Such knowledge can also help us to understand how to modernise our countries in the best way.
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Clarify reference Original: maintain these Suggested revision: preserve them Why it matters: Preserve them refers more naturally and precisely to the old buildings.
- 2. Correct preposition Original: by Suggested revision: from Why it matters: Learn from is the correct prepositional phrase for obtaining knowledge from books.
- 3. Set off parenthetical Original: Take for example Suggested revision: Take, for example, Why it matters: For example is parenthetical here and should be enclosed by commas.
- 4. Use direct transition Original: Not only this Suggested revision: Moreover Why it matters: Moreover adds the practical point without invoking an incomplete correlative structure.
- 5. Improve income collocation Original: provide important income to a country Suggested revision: generate significant income for a country Why it matters: Generate income for is the natural collocation in this context.
- 6. Use standard collocation Original: great Suggested revision: large Why it matters: Large numbers is the standard collocation for many visitors.
- 7. Use concise phrasing Original: in many circumstances we see Suggested revision: in many cases, we see Why it matters: In many cases is more concise and natural for describing common examples.
- 8. Remove redundancy Original: old historic buildings Suggested revision: historic buildings Why it matters: Historic already conveys that the buildings are old and historically important.
- 9. Remove faulty comma Original: character, and being Suggested revision: character and being Why it matters: The comma incorrectly separates two coordinated passive verb phrases.
- 10. Clarify comparison Original: others Suggested revision: people Why it matters: People supplies the clear subject needed in the comparative clause.
- 11. Use concise adverb Original: in the best way Suggested revision: effectively Why it matters: Effectively expresses the manner more directly and precisely.
- 12. Sentence rewrite Original: Also, in no way does history hinder progress, and in fact it is the opposite. Suggested revision: Indeed, history can support progress rather than hinder it. Why it matters: The rewrite states the contrast directly and links more clearly to the explanation that follows.
Suggested Rewrites
- maintain these preserve them
- by from
- Take for example Take, for example,
- Not only this Moreover
- provide important income to a country generate significant income for a country
- great large
Why this response received Band 8.0
The essay answers both questions directly, sustains a clear position, and develops its case through historical, aesthetic, economic, and practical considerations. Its main limitation is occasional imprecision or awkwardness in otherwise strong phrasing, while a few supporting examples remain fairly general. Refine collocations and make one example more concrete to give the already persuasive argument greater precision and authority.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Response
Both parts of the task are fully addressed through a clear position and well-developed, relevant reasons about preservation and progress.
Strengthen the argument further by illustrating one renovation or tourism point with a more specific real-world example.
Coherence and Cohesion
Ideas progress logically through well-focused paragraphs, and cohesive devices guide the reader without obscuring the argument.
Vary a few overt transitions such as 'Firstly' and 'However' to make the progression feel even more seamless.
Lexical Resource
The response uses a wide and precise vocabulary for history, preservation, tourism, and modernisation, with only occasional awkward collocations.
Refine phrases such as 'learn by books' and 'provide important income to a country' into more natural academic wording.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
A wide range of complex structures is used accurately, and the great majority of sentences are error-free.
Polish the few awkward comparative and parallel constructions, particularly in the final paragraph, for maximum clarity.
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IELTS Writing Task 2
Many old buildings protected by law are part of a nation’s history. Some people think they should be knocked down and replaced by news ones. How important is it to maintain old buildings? Should history stand in the way of progress?
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.