Many old buildings protected by law are part of a nation’s history. Some people think they should be knocked down and replaced by news ones.How important is it to maintain old buildings?Should history stand in the way of progress?
Sample Response
The issue of whether old buildings should be demolished and replaced has long been a controversial issue. While some believe that it is important due to their historical value, others believe they should not stand in the way of development, which is resembled by the building of new infrastructures. In order to support one view over the other, it is crucial to answer two questions, which this essay will discuss: they are the extent of importance for maintaining old buildings and whether one should value history over progress. Firstly, I believe that it is very important to maintain old buildings because they have historical and cultural significance and economic value. The old buildings may have an important function in history and some are even the nations’ pride. For instance, the Great Wall of China signifies the history of slaves’ perseverance, building the great wall of defence despite severe weather conditions, under the tyrannical rule of the Emperor and it also shows the concerns over safety during that historical period. Not only so, the Great Wall of China is the place that every tourist will visit when they come to Beijing; thus, it can be said that the Great Wall has economic value as those tourists will subsequently spend money there. Furthermore, the Great Wall of China instils a sense of pride in the hearts of Chinese people, as it resembles their long-lasting history. Hence, maintenance of old buildings are of utmost importance. However, opponents may argue differently: Although new buildings may not have historical and cultural significance, they do have their purpose, both economically and developmentally. By replacing old buildings, there will be more space for housing, which is especially important due to the current problem of overcrowding. In doing so, it can guarantee basic living standards. There will also be more space for buildings used for educational purposes, as education is important for the nations’ growth. Another arguments that opponents put forth is that history should not deter progress. They believe that a nation shouldn’t live in the past; instead, they should actively seek out the future. Whilst I believe this argument is sound, it is important to note that history doesn’t necessarily hinder progress, but would even prevent mistakes from happening again. An example will be the Nazi camps; they serve as a reminder to the nation about the dangers of discrimination and injustice. To conclude, based on the two questions, I strongly believe that old buildings should not be replaced, not only due to their significance to the nation, but also due to the fact that that it doesn’t hinder progress.
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Wrong verb choice Original: resembled Suggested revision: represented Why it matters: Use 'represented' to show that new infrastructure exemplifies development.
- 2. Uncountable noun Original: infrastructures Suggested revision: infrastructure Why it matters: 'Infrastructure' is normally uncountable in this general sense.
- 3. Awkward question phrase Original: the extent of importance for maintaining old buildings Suggested revision: how important it is to maintain old buildings Why it matters: This clause needs a natural indirect-question structure.
- 4. Remove generic article Original: The old buildings Suggested revision: Old buildings Why it matters: No definite article is needed when referring to old buildings generally.
- 5. Natural pride phrase Original: nations’ pride Suggested revision: a source of national pride Why it matters: This phrase expresses the intended idea naturally and precisely.
- 6. Use valid linker Original: Not only so Suggested revision: Moreover Why it matters: 'Not only so' is not an idiomatic transition here.
- 7. Avoid absolute claim Original: the place that every tourist will visit Suggested revision: a place that many tourists visit Why it matters: This wording preserves the tourism point without an unnecessary absolute claim.
- 8. Clarify cause Original: as those tourists will subsequently spend money there Suggested revision: because those tourists subsequently spend money there Why it matters: The causal relationship is clearer with 'because' and the simple present.
- 9. Use represent Original: resembles Suggested revision: represents Why it matters: The wall symbolizes the history rather than looking similar to it.
- 10. Natural collocation Original: long-lasting history Suggested revision: long history Why it matters: 'Long history' is the established collocation for duration.
- 11. Subject verb agreement Original: are Suggested revision: is Why it matters: The singular head noun 'maintenance' requires 'is'.
- 12. Clarify plural meaning Original: their purpose Suggested revision: important purposes Why it matters: This wording makes the claimed usefulness of new buildings more explicit.
Suggested Rewrites
- resembled represented
- infrastructures infrastructure
- the extent of importance for maintaining old buildings how important it is to maintain old buildings
- The old buildings Old buildings
- nations’ pride a source of national pride
- Not only so Moreover
Why this response received Band 6.5
The response addresses both questions with a clear position and supports the value of preservation through relevant cultural, economic, and historical examples. Its main limitation is that several ideas are expressed through repetitive or awkward wording, while the single-block presentation weakens the visible structure. Prioritise clearer paragraphing and more precise sentence-level expression so the developed argument is easier to follow and more convincing.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Response
A clear position is maintained, both questions are answered, and the main ideas receive relevant explanation and examples.
Develop the claim that preservation and progress can coexist more directly rather than relying mainly on one historical reminder.
Coherence and Cohesion
The argument progresses logically through preservation benefits, opposing considerations, and a conclusion, but the response is presented as one dense block.
Separate the introduction, main ideas, counterargument, and conclusion into purposeful paragraphs while reducing mechanical transitions.
Lexical Resource
There is a good range of topic vocabulary, although inaccurate collocations and word choices recur.
Replace imprecise combinations with natural expressions, especially when describing what buildings represent and how development occurs.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
Complex structures are attempted throughout and meaning remains clear, but agreement, article, and sentence-control errors recur.
Proofread each complex sentence for subject-verb agreement, possessives, duplicated words, and consistent clause structure.
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IELTS Writing Task 2
Many old buildings protected by law are part of a nation’s history. Some people think they should be knocked down and replaced by news ones.How important is it to maintain old buildings?Should history stand in the way of progress?
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.