In some countries, owning a home rather than renting one is very important for people. Why might this be the case? Do you think this is a positive or negative situation?
Sample Response
Many people today value owning their own home over renting. In my opinion, this is part of a natural human desire for security and prestige but it contains risks.
The source of this desire is a need for stability and respect. An individual who does not own their own home must pay rent to a landlord. This hangs over them and necessitates maintaining a job with a steady salary and balancing rent against other living expenses. Once a person owns their own home, they are then able to spend their money more freely and consider different employment without the fear of becoming homeless. Moreover, having a home lends an air of respectability. Only the wealthy are able buy a house and most homeowners take pride in the size and condition of their home as a sign of their social standing.
Nonetheless, home ownership is a negative trend as it forces unrealistic expectations on millions. Most people live in city apartments with rents and are not capable of buying a house. The pressure to buy one is likely to engender feelings of inadequacy and resentment towards the upper classes. This famously fueled the sub-prime mortgage scandals of the early 2000s in the United States when millions borrowed more than they could afford to buy homes, then defaulted on their payments and lost a lifetime of investment. Had these same people opted to rent, they would have saved more money and could have invested in other forms of capital such as the stock market.
In conclusion, owning a home is innately desirable but in the end causes more harm than good due to the pressure it places on individuals. Many people have learned this lesson and home ownership may begin to decline in the future.
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Name the risky subject Original: it contains risks Suggested revision: home ownership involves risks Why it matters: Naming home ownership removes the vague pronoun and uses a natural verb with 'risks'.
- 2. Remove redundant sequencing Original: they are then able Suggested revision: they are able Why it matters: 'Then' is redundant after the sentence already begins with 'Once'.
- 3. Complete the collocation Original: consider different employment Suggested revision: consider different employment options Why it matters: 'Employment options' naturally expresses alternative kinds of work.
- 4. Use the idiomatic phrase Original: without the fear of becoming homeless Suggested revision: without fear of becoming homeless Why it matters: The general expression 'without fear of' does not require the definite article.
- 5. Add the infinitive marker Original: are able buy Suggested revision: are able to buy Why it matters: 'Able' must be followed by a to-infinitive.
- 6. Use a natural housing phrase Original: city apartments with rents Suggested revision: rented city apartments Why it matters: The revised phrase clearly describes apartments occupied by tenants.
- 7. Use natural expectation wording Original: forces Suggested revision: places Why it matters: Expectations are conventionally 'placed on' people rather than 'forced on' them.
- 8. Clarify the financial loss Original: lost a lifetime of investment Suggested revision: lost their lifetime investments Why it matters: The plural possessive phrase more naturally describes the investments accumulated by those people.
- 9. Align conditional verb forms Original: would have saved more money and could have invested Suggested revision: could have saved more money and invested Why it matters: Using one modal for both coordinated outcomes makes the hypothetical result consistent.
- 10. Use concise transition wording Original: in the end causes Suggested revision: ultimately causes Why it matters: 'Ultimately' expresses the final judgement more concisely.
- 11. Sentence rewrite Original: This hangs over them and necessitates maintaining a job with a steady salary and balancing rent against other living expenses. Suggested revision: This obligation hangs over them, requiring them to maintain a steady income and balance rent against other living expenses. Why it matters: The rewrite clarifies what 'This' means and improves the parallel verb structure.
Suggested Rewrites
- it contains risks home ownership involves risks
- they are then able they are able
- consider different employment consider different employment options
- without the fear of becoming homeless without fear of becoming homeless
- are able buy are able to buy
- city apartments with rents rented city apartments
Why this response received Band 8.0
The response gives a direct answer to both questions, develops the motives for home ownership convincingly, and supports its negative evaluation with a specific, relevant example. The main limitation is a small amount of overgeneralisation and a few minor language slips within otherwise precise writing. The highest-priority improvement is to qualify broad claims about wealth and housing access so the reasoning becomes more balanced and defensible.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Response
Both questions are fully addressed through well-developed explanations of security, status, social pressure, and financial risk.
Qualify categorical claims such as only wealthy people being able to buy homes to make the argument more nuanced.
Coherence and Cohesion
The essay is logically sequenced, each paragraph has a clear function, and cohesion supports the argument without drawing attention to itself.
Tighten the transition from the introductory reference to risks into the explicitly negative evaluation developed later.
Lexical Resource
A broad and precise vocabulary conveys abstract economic and social ideas naturally, with only isolated awkward wording.
Refine minor phrases such as city apartments with rents so every expression is fully idiomatic.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
Complex sentences are varied and accurately controlled across the response, with only rare minor errors that do not impede meaning.
Proofread for isolated omissions, particularly the missing to in able to buy, while preserving the existing structural range.
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IELTS Writing Task 2
In some countries, owning a home rather than renting one is very important for people. Why might this be the case? Do you think this is a positive or negative situation?
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.