Some people think that human needs for farmland, housing, and industry are more important than saving land for endangered animals. Do you agree or disagree with this point of view? Why or why not?
Sample Response
As human population is significantly rising every year, people's requirements are increasing too. We need more food, more machines, more place to live. As a result of this people need more land to satisfy their requirements. We cultivate and irrigate more and more land to plant vegetables, build new buildings, airports, roads, etc. I think sometimes we forget that we are not alone on this planet. I have to disagree with those people who think that human needs are more important than saving land for endangered animals. I base my opinion on the following points. First of all, as I already mentioned, we are not alone on this planet. A few centuries ago we were the part of wild nature. I think we need to remember this fact and respect all creatures around us. Second of all, I believe that we all need to think of the problem of overpopulation. The human population is dramatically increasing and we have to do something about it. From my opinion, every family should have no more than two children. It will help to stop the growth of population, decrease human needs for farmland, housing and industry. In conclusion, I think it is a very topical question nowadays. My point is that all people should answer this question and find the solution.
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Add the article Original: As human population Suggested revision: As the human population Why it matters: The singular population of humanity requires the definite article in this context.
- 2. Use natural collocation Original: is significantly rising Suggested revision: is growing significantly Why it matters: Population naturally collocates with grow rather than rise in this context.
- 3. Choose the precise noun Original: requirements Suggested revision: needs Why it matters: Needs matches the task topic and sounds more natural for food, housing and land.
- 4. Use the plural noun Original: place Suggested revision: places Why it matters: Place is a countable noun here and needs the plural form after more.
- 5. Punctuate the transition Original: As a result of this people Suggested revision: As a result of this, people Why it matters: A comma is needed after the introductory linking phrase.
- 6. Use natural collocation Original: satisfy their requirements Suggested revision: meet their needs Why it matters: Meet needs is the standard collocation for fulfilling human necessities.
- 7. Clarify the adverb Original: I think sometimes Suggested revision: Sometimes, I think Why it matters: Moving sometimes makes it clear that forgetting, rather than thinking, happens occasionally.
- 8. State the view directly Original: have to disagree Suggested revision: disagree Why it matters: The shorter verb states the same position more directly.
- 9. Remove repetition Original: as I already mentioned, Suggested revision: Delete Why it matters: This backward reference repeats the immediately preceding idea without advancing it.
- 10. Correct the noun phrase Original: the part of wild nature Suggested revision: part of the natural world Why it matters: Part does not take the definite article here, and natural world is the idiomatic phrase.
- 11. Use a concise signpost Original: Second of all Suggested revision: Second Why it matters: Second is a cleaner formal counterpart to the earlier sequencing phrase.
- 12. Use a precise verb Original: think of the problem Suggested revision: consider the problem Why it matters: Consider is the more precise verb for examining an issue.
Suggested Rewrites
- As human population As the human population
- is significantly rising is growing significantly
- requirements needs
- place places
- As a result of this people As a result of this, people
- satisfy their requirements meet their needs
Why this response received Band 6.0
The response states a clear disagreement and offers two relevant reasons, with the overpopulation point providing a potentially useful practical angle. However, the essay is under length, the ideas remain thinly supported, and the conclusion becomes vague instead of reinforcing the stated position. The highest priority is to develop each reason with specific explanation and examples while sustaining the argument through a direct, decisive conclusion.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Response
A clear opinion is presented and relevant reasons are introduced, but the under-length response develops them only briefly and ends without a firm restatement of the position.
Explain how protecting habitat benefits endangered animals and support both main reasons with specific consequences or examples.
Coherence and Cohesion
The sequence from human demand to ethical responsibility and overpopulation is generally easy to follow, though progression is mechanical and paragraphing is absent.
Organise the introduction, each reason, and the conclusion into separate paragraphs with clearer links between claims and support.
Lexical Resource
The vocabulary is adequate for the topic and includes some effective terms, but several collocations are awkward or imprecise.
Use natural phrases such as living space, population growth, and in my opinion, while reducing repetition of needs and requirements.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
The response uses both simple and complex structures with generally clear meaning, but article, punctuation, and sentence-pattern errors recur.
Review article use and clause punctuation, and ensure coordinated verbs follow a consistent grammatical pattern.
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IELTS Writing Task 2
Some people think that human needs for farmland, housing, and industry are more important than saving land for endangered animals. Do you agree or disagree with this point of view? Why or why not?
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.