Some people think that human needs for farmland, housing, and industry are more important than saving land for endangered animals. Do you agree or disagree with this point of view? Why or why not?
Sample Response
Humans and animals have shared a very special relationship since the dawn of time. Humans have used animals for sustenance, for work and also for companionship. In the recent times, there has been a growing concern for the endangered species, with increasing number of birds and animals becoming extinct. I disagree with the point that the habitat for endangered species should be allowed to be used for housing and industries, thus giving more importance to human needs.
To support my opinion, firstly, the humans should be considerate and humane towards the Mother Nature and the living beings on earth. Consider the example of parrots, at present, parrots can be seen only in the animated movies or in the zoos. If the right steps would have been taken at the appropriate time, we could have saved more parrots. By being considerate for the animals we are making sure that the food chain of animals does not get disturbed and thus does not disturb the cycle of nature.
To give the problem a different perspective, the problem of land for more housing and industries should be solved with more constructive ways. Cities can be designed and planned with modern technology to use optimum land thus saving the land for the needful endangered species. To give an example, Singapore has a well-laid infrastructure which uses latest technologies to promote bio-diversity. The government has created national parks for the endangered species. Thus, both humans and animals thrive in harmony with constructive methods used to build modern cities.
To conclude, although the demand for land is growing every day for more human needs, there are constructive ways by which the supply can be produced, without endangering more animals and risking their extinction. It is also recommended to study and observe the modern city models like Singapore and South Korea to promote constructive ideas instead of destructive methods.
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Remove article Original: In the recent times Suggested revision: In recent times Why it matters: The general time expression 'in recent times' does not take an article.
- 2. Use general reference Original: concern for the endangered species Suggested revision: concern for endangered species Why it matters: No definite article is needed when referring to endangered species generally.
- 3. Add article Original: with increasing number Suggested revision: with an increasing number Why it matters: The singular countable noun phrase 'increasing number' requires an article.
- 4. Use precise noun Original: point Suggested revision: view Why it matters: 'View' more naturally refers to the opinion stated in the task.
- 5. Use plural habitats Original: the habitat for endangered species Suggested revision: habitats for endangered species Why it matters: The plural is appropriate because different endangered species occupy different habitats.
- 6. Use uncountable industry Original: industries Suggested revision: industry Why it matters: 'Industry' is normally uncountable when referring generally to industrial development.
- 7. Simplify the transition Original: To support my opinion, firstly Suggested revision: First Why it matters: One concise sequencing marker avoids a redundant and mechanical transition.
- 8. Remove article Original: the humans should Suggested revision: humans should Why it matters: No article is needed when 'humans' refers to people in general.
- 9. Remove article Original: the Mother Nature Suggested revision: Mother Nature Why it matters: The proper name 'Mother Nature' is normally used without an article.
- 10. Fix conditional form Original: right steps would have been taken Suggested revision: right steps had been taken Why it matters: A past unreal condition requires the past perfect form after 'if'.
- 11. Correct preposition Original: considerate for the animals Suggested revision: considerate of animals Why it matters: The adjective 'considerate' takes the preposition 'of'.
- 12. Express the result Original: we are making sure Suggested revision: we can ensure Why it matters: The modal form expresses the intended general consequence more naturally.
Suggested Rewrites
- In the recent times In recent times
- concern for the endangered species concern for endangered species
- with increasing number with an increasing number
- point view
- the habitat for endangered species habitats for endangered species
- industries industry
Why this response received Band 7.0
The response’s strongest feature is its clear position, developed through an ethical argument and a practical urban-planning alternative. Its main limitation is imprecision: some factual support is doubtful, and recurring awkward collocations and grammatical errors make otherwise relevant ideas less convincing. The highest-priority improvement is to use credible, accurately explained examples while revising article use, prepositions, conditionals, and word combinations for more natural academic expression.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Response
The response maintains a clear disagreement and develops two relevant reasons, though parts of the supporting evidence are questionable or generalised.
Use factually credible examples and explain precisely how each one proves that conservation can coexist with human development.
Coherence and Cohesion
Paragraphing and overall progression are clear, with each body paragraph serving a distinct purpose, though some linking phrases are formulaic.
Replace mechanical framing such as “To give the problem a different perspective” with more direct logical connections between claims.
Lexical Resource
There is sufficient range for the topic, including some less common vocabulary, but recurring collocational inaccuracies reduce precision.
Learn natural combinations for this topic, such as “protect endangered species,” “use land efficiently,” and “meet housing demand.”
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
The response uses varied complex sentences, but frequent errors with articles, prepositions, agreement, and conditional forms remain noticeable.
Review article use and third conditional structure, then proofread each complex sentence for complete and accurately linked clauses.
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IELTS Writing Task 2
Some people think that human needs for farmland, housing, and industry are more important than saving land for endangered animals. Do you agree or disagree with this point of view? Why or why not?
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.