Developing countries like Bangladesh should concentrate more on industrial development, instead of agriculture, to achieve better development. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?
Sample Response
In many developing nations such as Bangladesh, there's an ongoing debate over whetheran ongoing discourse regarding whether the focus should be on industrial development rather than agriculture to foster better overall progress. Contrary to the opinion advocating for industrialization, I firmly believe that the agriculturalagriculture sector is essential for achieving balancedcomprehensive development.
Firstly, agriculture remains the backbone of many developing economies, including Bangladesh. The agricultural sector not only provides employment for a significant portion of the population but also ensures food security and contributes to poverty reduction. For instance, investing in agricultural practices such as modern irrigation techniques and crop diversification can enhance productivity, increase farmers' incomesincome, and supportuplift rural communities. If the country shifts its focus to industrialisation, a large portion of the population will find it hard to manage any job in this new sector due to their lack of industrial skills as they are traditionally farmers.
Secondly, overemphasis on industrial development may exacerbate environmental degradation and lead to social inequalityinequalities. Rapid industrialization often comes at the cost of environmental degradation, including pollution of air, water, and soil. The concentration of industries in urban areas may exacerbate urban-rural disparities, as rural areas are often underservedrural areas are often left behind in terms of infrastructure development and access to basic services. For example, in Bangladesh, rapid industrialization in urban centres like Dhaka and Chattogram has led to significant disparities between urban and rural areas.
In conclusion, while industrial development is necessary for economic growth and diversification, it should not come at the expense of neglecting the agricultural sector. Therefore, developing nations like Bangladesh should focus on the agricultural sectorfocus on agricultural sectors while fostering industries that are already helping them to progress and not shift towards industrialisation overnight.
Why this response received Band 8.0
The response sustains a clear, nuanced disagreement and supports it with well-developed arguments about employment, food security, environmental damage, and regional inequality. Its main limitation is occasional repetition and a few awkward expressions. Prioritise tightening repeated reasoning so the otherwise persuasive argument reads with greater polish.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Response
The position is clear throughout and supported by fully relevant, well-developed reasons and examples.
Strengthen the nuanced conclusion by stating more precisely how agricultural and industrial investment should be balanced.
Coherence and Cohesion
Paragraphs are purposeful and the argument progresses logically from agriculture's benefits to the risks of excessive industrialisation.
Avoid repeating the environmental-degradation claim in consecutive sentences.
Lexical Resource
A wide, precise academic vocabulary supports the argument effectively, with occasional awkward collocations.
Replace expressions such as 'manage any job' and 'the agriculture sector' with more natural, exact alternatives.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
Complex structures are varied and generally well controlled, though a few long sentences contain awkward attachment or coordination.
Simplify the sentence about farmers' lack of industrial skills and clarify the final coordinated clause in the conclusion.
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IELTS Writing Task 2
Developing countries like Bangladesh should concentrate more on industrial development, instead of agriculture, to achieve better development. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.