Developing countries like Bangladesh should concentrate more on industrial development, instead of agriculture, to achieve better development. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?
Sample Response
In developing nations such as Bangladesh, many peopleIn many developing nations such as Bangladesh, many people suggest that the country should prioritize industrial developmentfocus should be on industrial development rather than agriculture to foster overall developmentfoster better overall progress. I firmly agree with the notion that prioritizing industrializationshifting emphasis towards industrialization can significantly contribute to the country's advancement.
Firstly, industrial development can lead to job creation on a larger scale than agriculturejob creation on a larger scale compared to agriculture. Establishing industries and manufacturing plants not only generates employment opportunities for a large number of peoplea substantial number of individuals but also offers diverse career paths across various sectors such as engineering, technology, and management. For instance, the expansion of the garment industry in Bangladesh has provided millions of jobs forto its citizens, particularly women, contributing significantly to poverty alleviation and economic empowerment.
Secondly, industrialization can diversify the economy and reduce dependencedependency on agriculture. Overreliance on agriculture makes countries vulnerable to fluctuating market conditions, natural disasters, and climate change. By investing in industrial sectors such as manufacturing, technology, and services, countries like Bangladesh can create a more resilient and stable economy. For example, South Korea and Singaporecountries like South Korea and Singapore have successfully transitioned from agrarian economiesagrarian-based economies to industrial powerhouses, experiencing rapid economic growth and development in the process.
In conclusion, concentrating more on industrial development rather than agriculture in countries like Bangladesh has great potential to driveholds immense potential for driving progress and prosperity. By creating jobs, diversifying the economy, and reducing dependency on agriculture, industrialization can pave the way for sustainable growth and improve the population's overall standard of livingoverall standard of living for the population.
Why this response received Band 8.0
The response presents a firm position and develops two persuasive benefits of industrialisation through specific, well-integrated examples. Its strongest feature is the precise connection between job creation, economic diversification, and national resilience; the main limitation is that it falls slightly below the required length and gives little consideration to the risks of deprioritising agriculture. Prioritise a brief qualification addressing food security or transition costs while retaining the focused argument.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Response
A clear position is sustained through two well-developed arguments and highly relevant country examples, despite the slight under-length response.
Add a concise qualification about food security or agricultural transition to deepen the comparison and exceed the minimum length.
Coherence and Cohesion
The essay is logically sequenced, with focused paragraphs and cohesive links that make the argument effortless to follow.
Use a less formulaic transition than 'Firstly' and 'Secondly' to make the progression even more natural.
Lexical Resource
Vocabulary is flexible, precise, and appropriately academic across employment, economic resilience, and development.
Reduce repetition of 'industrial development' by using carefully chosen references where the meaning remains unambiguous.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
A wide range of complex structures is used accurately and smoothly, with only very minor lapses.
Maintain this high level of control while varying sentence openings to give the body paragraphs greater rhythmic flexibility.
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IELTS Writing Task 2
Developing countries like Bangladesh should concentrate more on industrial development, instead of agriculture, to achieve better development. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.