Popular events like the football World Cup and other international sporting occasions are essential in easing international tensions and releasing patriotic emotions in a safe way. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?
Sample Response
In this contemporary era, due to globalization, it is very common to compete in various sports against athletes from other nationsplay various sports with other nations’ athletes. One school of thought believes this is pivotal to reducing stress between two nations and giving the players a patriotic feeling, while another opposes itwhilst another encounters this. Hence, I partially concur with the stated viewlaid statement, and the reasons for my inclination are explained in the following paragraphsarticulated in trail paragraphs.
On the one hand, organizing suchSuch an event requires a hefty amount of money as well as human resources. For instance, if a country wants to host the World Cupcelebrate worldсuр, they have to take care of other players’ living arrangements, sports facilities and their families. Thus they have to make a great effort to ensureput a high effort into the success of that event, and it requires not only government funding but also citizens’ valuable timeit not only requires government money but also the valuable time of citizens. Eventually, this is a bad idea because of time and money.
Nevertheless, the organization of such an event plays an important role in establishing relationsis an important part of establishing relations between two governments. To cite an example, after organizing such events, two or more nations come together and exchange their culture, history, and lifestyle, which helps them understand one another betterwhich is Fruitful to know each other very well. Along with that, ruling parties also talk with each other and try to solve their countries’ problemsthe Country’s problems; consequently, they buildresultant, they make strong relationshipsgood friends with each other, which is beneficial in the future and reduces tensions between themmitigates the stresses between each other.
In addition, while playing in such an event, sportspeople feel that they are represent not only themselves but also their whole countryjust not only themselves but also the whole Country. So, they feel proud of themselvesproud on their selves and perform at their bestgive their best in their game. Consequently, this instils patriotic emotionit inculcated a patriotic emotion in them.
On close scrutiny, I conclude that organizing the world cup helps to lessen the issues between the two nations and also gives players a sense of pride in their nationsgives a proud moment for players towards their nations. However, the Country has to look out for their budget.
Why this response received Band 6.0
The essay presents a discernible position and develops relevant points about international relations and patriotic feeling in a clear paragraph sequence. Its main limitation is that the partial disagreement rests largely on event costs, which only indirectly challenges the stated claim, while frequent awkward expressions reduce precision. The highest priority is to connect every supporting and opposing point directly to whether such events ease tensions and channel patriotism safely.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Response
The response addresses both stated benefits and maintains a generally clear qualified position, but the opposing argument is only indirectly relevant and unevenly developed.
Explain precisely how the financial cost limits the claimed benefits, then weigh that limitation against the evidence supporting the position.
Coherence and Cohesion
Paragraphing and overall progression are clear, although some transitions are formulaic and several references within sentences are imprecise.
Use fewer stock linking phrases and make pronoun references explicit so each sentence connects cleanly to the preceding claim.
Lexical Resource
There is a reasonable range of topic vocabulary, but numerous unnatural collocations and word choices weaken accuracy and style.
Prioritise natural combinations for hosting events, diplomatic relations, national pride, and public spending instead of forcing ambitious expressions.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
The essay attempts varied complex sentences, but errors in agreement, articles, pronouns, capitalization, and clause construction occur frequently.
Proofread complex sentences for complete clause structure and accurate agreement, especially where plural nations, governments, or athletes are discussed.
Write this task while it is fresh
Try the same task now. It helps you remember the feedback and write better next time.
IELTS Writing Task 2
Popular events like the football World Cup and other international sporting occasions are essential in easing international tensions and releasing patriotic emotions in a safe way. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.