Popular events like the football World Cup and other international sporting occasions are essential in easing international tensions and releasing patriotic emotions in a safe way. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?
Sample Response
History has proved that people from each country had always been looking for some ways to response to their patriotic emotions. So Over different eras, various ways have been taken to show these feelings. But these days, international sporting matches are considered as the best occasions for mentioned purpose besides their deep effects on improving international tensions.
Obviously, no one can ignore that has no emotion about his country and traditions. Perhaps there is something in human nature which has encouraged him to show the interest of his culture to other nations. This tendency was one of the main reasons for many wars in the past when two nations fought each other to show their abilities and powers. But over the last several decades, sporting matches has replaced those wars and people consider their nation sports team’s members as their country soldiers. In other words, people protect and encourage their national sports teams to win the match and in this way, they respond to their patriotic emotions.
However some international sporting festivals such as football world cup have become very popular occasions to satisfy mentioned instinct, they have had undeniable effects on international tensions. For example, during a football match between two nations, people from other countries obtain suitable information about those cultures, traditional and religious. Hence, it helps governments to have a proper background from each other. So it directly affects international relations and in most of the cases makes a potential for countries to be more closed.
I think, therefore, people not only do pursue international sporting matches just as an entertainment, but they are interested in them because of other aspects of a sports match which relates to patriotic emotion and politics.
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Use present perfect Original: had always been looking Suggested revision: have always looked Why it matters: The present perfect fits a continuing pattern from the past to the present.
- 2. Use verb form Original: some ways to response Suggested revision: ways to respond Why it matters: The infinitive requires the verb “respond,” not the noun “response.”
- 3. Fix transition Original: So Over different eras Suggested revision: Across different eras Why it matters: This revision removes the faulty connector and creates a clear time transition.
- 4. Use natural collocation Original: various ways have been taken Suggested revision: various approaches have been used Why it matters: English uses “approaches have been used” rather than “ways have been taken” here.
- 5. Remove extra preposition Original: considered as the best occasions Suggested revision: considered the best occasions Why it matters: The verb “consider” takes a direct complement in this construction.
- 6. Add determiner Original: mentioned Suggested revision: this Why it matters: The noun phrase needs a determiner, and “this” clearly refers back to expressing patriotism.
- 7. Clarify intended effect Original: besides their deep effects on improving international tensions Suggested revision: while also having a strong effect on easing international tensions Why it matters: “Improving tensions” suggests strengthening them, so the revision expresses the intended reduction.
- 8. Fix noun pattern Original: the interest of his culture Suggested revision: an interest in his culture Why it matters: The noun “interest” takes “in” when describing what someone cares about.
- 9. Match subject and verb Original: has Suggested revision: have Why it matters: The plural subject “matches” requires “have.”
- 10. Fix noun phrase Original: their nation sports team’s members Suggested revision: the members of their national sports team Why it matters: This word order forms a grammatical and natural noun phrase.
- 11. Use natural phrasing Original: as their country soldiers Suggested revision: as soldiers representing their country Why it matters: The possessive-like phrase “country soldiers” is not natural in this context.
- 12. Choose accurate verb Original: protect Suggested revision: support Why it matters: Spectators support a team; “protect” does not express the intended action here.
Suggested Rewrites
- had always been looking have always looked
- some ways to response ways to respond
- So Over different eras Across different eras
- various ways have been taken various approaches have been used
- considered as the best occasions considered the best occasions
- mentioned this
Why this response received Band 6.0
The response maintains a clear position and addresses both patriotic expression and international tensions through relevant main ideas. Its impact is limited by occasionally unconvincing explanations and frequent awkward grammatical and lexical choices, although the central meaning remains clear. The highest priority is to build each claim through a precise cause-and-effect explanation while using more natural sentence patterns and collocations.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Response
A clear agreement position is supported with relevant discussion of patriotic emotion and international relations, though some explanations remain general or questionable.
Develop each main claim with a specific, logically convincing explanation or example that directly shows how sporting events reduce tension.
Coherence and Cohesion
The response is organised into purposeful paragraphs and generally progresses logically, but some transitions are mechanical and connections within sentences are awkward.
Use clearer topic sentences and fewer formulaic linking words so that each idea follows naturally from the previous one.
Lexical Resource
The vocabulary is sufficiently varied for the topic, but frequent inaccurate collocations and word-form choices reduce precision.
Prioritise natural combinations such as express patriotic feelings, ease tensions, and become closer rather than forcing unfamiliar phrasing.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
A mix of simple and complex structures conveys the argument, but recurring errors in agreement, articles, sentence structure, and clause control are noticeable.
Check every complex sentence for a complete clause and review subject-verb agreement and article use before finalising the response.
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IELTS Writing Task 2
Popular events like the football World Cup and other international sporting occasions are essential in easing international tensions and releasing patriotic emotions in a safe way. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.