Nowadays, international tourism is the biggest industry in the world. Unfortunately, international tourism creates tension rather than understanding between people from different cultures. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?
Sample Response
Nowadays international tourism is the biggest industry in the world. Unfortunately, international tourism creates tension rather than understanding between people from different cultures. This evident situation has become the result of great migration among people all over the world. Since the second half of the 20th-century people from different countries began to explore the distant countries and various places around the world and it is getting more and more popular to travel a lot and discover unknown lands these days. International tourism has its advantages as well as disadvantages. If to speak about advantages they are quite obvious- people have a lot of amazing opportunities to know the world inside out, to see and feel the bright colours of wild nature, traditions and customs of different cultures belonging to Asia, Europe, Australia and Africa. International tourists invest the development of the economic and financial sphere of the countries they visit. Also, they help to support local people from unemployment - especially in small and poor countries, giving them the chance to survive. People are getting closer and friendlier to each other despite all differences they have. On the other hand, people got tired of endless tourist streams flowing into their country every year. They want to have a rest and live their ordinary life as they used to live before a foreign invasion. Some countries are very close and private, their culture and traditions are very strict and strange for the most of the tourists. The manner of behaviour, dress and many others which were brought and shown by foreigners irritates, makes local people angry and unfriendly and not ready to accept and communicate well. For instance, white tourists in some parts of Africa are really in serious danger in the streets and poor districts of many towns and cities because of the white dominance and oppression in the past. Rich tourists in developing countries are the source of displeasure, aggression, misunderstanding and tension from native people. To sum up I would like to say that the future of international tourism completely depends on people themselves and their correct and acceptable behaviour in overseas countries. It won't cause much tension and misunderstanding but trust, respect and friendly attitude to each other. Nevertheless, when different cultures meet, they always have a lot of things to compare, accept, value or argue about.
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Add introductory comma Original: Nowadays international tourism Suggested revision: Nowadays, international tourism Why it matters: A comma should separate the introductory adverb from the main clause.
- 2. Fix introductory phrase Original: If to speak about advantages Suggested revision: To discuss the advantages Why it matters: The original conditional infinitive structure is ungrammatical.
- 3. Fix clause punctuation Original: they are quite obvious- people Suggested revision: they are quite clear: people Why it matters: A colon correctly introduces the explanation, and “clear” is more natural than “obvious” here.
- 4. Use measured wording Original: know the world inside out Suggested revision: learn about the world Why it matters: The revision avoids the exaggerated idiom and states the educational opportunity directly.
- 5. Use natural collocation Original: the bright colours of wild nature Suggested revision: the beauty of nature Why it matters: “The beauty of nature” is the natural expression for appreciating landscapes and wildlife.
- 6. Use geographic relation Original: cultures belonging to Asia, Europe, Australia and Africa Suggested revision: cultures across Asia, Europe, Australia and Africa Why it matters: Cultures exist across regions rather than belong to continents in this context.
- 7. Add investment preposition Original: invest the development Suggested revision: invest in the development Why it matters: The verb “invest” takes the preposition “in” before the area receiving investment.
- 8. Use concise economic term Original: the economic and financial sphere Suggested revision: the economy Why it matters: “The economy” expresses the intended financial domain without redundant wording.
- 9. Use correct employment phrase Original: support Suggested revision: protect Why it matters: “Protect from unemployment” is the appropriate construction for preventing joblessness.
- 10. Use possessive phrase Original: despite all differences they have Suggested revision: despite all their differences Why it matters: The possessive determiner makes the relationship concise and grammatical.
- 11. Use present tense Original: got Suggested revision: become Why it matters: The essay describes a continuing present situation, so the present tense is required.
- 12. Use natural tourism term Original: endless tourist streams Suggested revision: constant influxes of tourists Why it matters: “Influxes of tourists” is the natural expression for large numbers arriving repeatedly.
Suggested Rewrites
- Nowadays international tourism Nowadays, international tourism
- If to speak about advantages To discuss the advantages
- they are quite obvious- people they are quite clear: people
- know the world inside out learn about the world
- the bright colours of wild nature the beauty of nature
- cultures belonging to Asia, Europe, Australia and Africa cultures across Asia, Europe, Australia and Africa
Why this response received Band 6.0
The response covers both intercultural understanding and tension with several relevant economic and social examples, and its broad progression is easy to follow. Its position remains uncertain until the conclusion, however, while ideas are sometimes expressed through vague or unsupported generalisations and the absence of paragraphing weakens organisation. Prioritise stating a consistent degree of agreement early, then develop each claim precisely in clearly separated paragraphs.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Response
The response addresses the issue from both sides with relevant ideas, but its degree of agreement is not consistently clear and some claims lack adequate support.
State a precise position in the introduction and ensure every body paragraph directly develops how tourism creates either tension or understanding.
Coherence and Cohesion
The advantages-to-disadvantages sequence is broadly logical, but the single-block presentation and mechanical transitions weaken cohesion.
Separate the introduction, main arguments, and conclusion into purposeful paragraphs with clearer links between supporting sentences.
Lexical Resource
Vocabulary is reasonably varied and includes some effective topic language, though inaccurate collocations and vague phrasing recur.
Replace awkward combinations such as support people from unemployment with precise, natural expressions and check each abstract noun phrase.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
The response attempts a range of complex structures, but frequent article, agreement, tense, and sentence-formation errors reduce control.
Edit complex sentences for subject-verb agreement, articles, and complete clause structure before adding further detail.
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IELTS Writing Task 2
Nowadays, international tourism is the biggest industry in the world. Unfortunately, international tourism creates tension rather than understanding between people from different cultures. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.