Nowadays, international tourism is the biggest industry in the world. Unfortunately, international tourism creates tension rather than understanding between people from different cultures. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?
Sample Response
When people discuss the impacts of international tourism, they have different opinions. Some people think that this harms the international understanding, while others believe it is helpful to increase international understanding. In my view, there are many reasons to think that this will improve international understanding in the peoples’ different cultures. First of all, it helps in spreading of culture. In the world, every country has its own distinct society and cultures. For example, an Italian person can better understand the Asians by visiting any Asian nation and come to know how young people respect their elders in their society. Good cultural values which are absent from one's own society can be adapted from other societies. Moreover, International tourism aids in learning foreign languages. Learning new language enrich one's knowledge and experience. I am an Indian student and want to get admitted to Harvard University in PhD. Course. Thus I’ll have to enrol in English language courses with my studies. This will a valuable experience and will provide me chances to learn a new language and thus the cultures and history associated with it. Finally, Tourism provides the real experience of things and History. We have seen many things in TV, internet and movies, but a visit to that place makes us closer to that thing. I have seen Zebras in discovery channel videos and would like to visit the central African forest reserve to examine and discover more about this animal. Through a person can get the practical reality and this will possible with the help of African peoples and their government. To sum up, it is clear that tourism is important to people of different cultures. The above discussion shows that it not only provides one with the opportunity to know about other cultures, languages, history but also enhance the possibility to learn and experience the first-hand experience many realities.
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Remove unnecessary article Original: the international understanding Suggested revision: international understanding Why it matters: The abstract idea is used generally here and does not need the definite article.
- 2. Use natural collocation Original: helpful to increase Suggested revision: helpful in increasing Why it matters: The adjective is more naturally followed by in plus a gerund in this construction.
- 3. Clarify cultural relationship Original: in the peoples’ different cultures Suggested revision: among people from different cultures Why it matters: The original possessive phrase is unnatural and obscures who is being connected.
- 4. Correct verb pattern Original: helps in spreading of culture Suggested revision: helps to spread culture Why it matters: Help is correctly followed here by an infinitive without the preposition of.
- 5. Keep number consistent Original: cultures Suggested revision: culture Why it matters: The sentence refers to each country individually, so both nouns should remain singular.
- 6. Use respectful reference Original: the Asians Suggested revision: Asian people Why it matters: This wording refers to people more naturally and precisely.
- 7. Make verbs parallel Original: by visiting any Asian nation and come to know Suggested revision: by visiting an Asian nation and coming to understand Why it matters: Both actions governed by by should use parallel gerund forms.
- 8. Choose correct verb Original: adapted Suggested revision: adopted Why it matters: Adopted means taken up for use, whereas adapted means modified.
- 9. Correct capitalization Original: International Suggested revision: international Why it matters: International is not a proper noun in the middle of this sentence.
- 10. Add singular article Original: Learning new language Suggested revision: Learning a new language Why it matters: The singular countable noun language requires an article.
- 11. Match subject and verb Original: enrich Suggested revision: enriches Why it matters: The gerund phrase is singular and therefore takes enriches.
- 12. Correct admission phrase Original: get admitted to Harvard University in PhD. Course Suggested revision: be admitted to a PhD course at Harvard University Why it matters: This revision supplies the correct prepositions, article, and noun order.
Suggested Rewrites
- the international understanding international understanding
- helpful to increase helpful in increasing
- in the peoples’ different cultures among people from different cultures
- helps in spreading of culture helps to spread culture
- cultures culture
- the Asians Asian people
Why this response received Band 6.0
The response maintains a clear view that international tourism can improve cross-cultural understanding and offers several relevant benefits. Its main limitation is that some supporting examples, particularly the Harvard study and wildlife discussion, connect only loosely to tourism or intercultural understanding, while frequent grammatical errors reduce precision. The highest priority is to develop fewer, directly relevant examples and explain clearly how each tourist experience reduces cultural tension.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Response
The response presents a clear position and several relevant reasons, although some examples are only loosely connected to intercultural understanding.
Develop each main reason with a directly relevant tourism example and explicitly explain how it reduces tension between cultures.
Coherence and Cohesion
Ideas progress in a recognizable sequence from the position through three reasons to a conclusion, though linking is sometimes mechanical and paragraphing is limited.
Separate the main reasons into clear body paragraphs and use referencing to connect explanations smoothly within each paragraph.
Lexical Resource
The response uses an adequate range of vocabulary for culture, language, and experience, but inaccurate collocations and word choices recur.
Prioritize natural combinations such as learn about a culture and gain firsthand experience, checking that each selected word fits its context.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
A mix of sentence forms is attempted, but frequent errors in articles, agreement, verb forms, and clause construction reduce accuracy.
Edit each sentence for complete clause structure and subject-verb agreement before adding more complex grammatical patterns.
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IELTS Writing Task 2
Nowadays, international tourism is the biggest industry in the world. Unfortunately, international tourism creates tension rather than understanding between people from different cultures. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.