Nowadays, international tourism is the biggest industry in the world. Unfortunately, international tourism creates tension rather than understanding between people from different cultures. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?
Sample Response
Today the world is more connected than ever beforethan any time before and people from countries all over the worldall over the countries can arrive at their destination within 24 hours. However, while this possibility enables millions of individualspermits to millions of individuals to encounter different cultures every year, international tourismthe phenomenon of the international tourism also creates conflictbrings also conflicts between people with different habits and customscostumes. To begin, tourism creates isolation more than integration. In fact, tourists prefer to look at different places, costumes and habits like sitting in front of the television screen, watching a documentary, more than sharing time with the indigenous population. Furthermore, tourists don't respect foreign habits and cultures, often because they don't understand themit. For example, they drop litterthrow the litter on the ground, or even worse they don't respect their hosts’ religion. Nevertheless, the effects of international tourism are not all negative. Sometimes tourists fall in love with people and places they visit and decide to live therelive in there, acting as mediators between cultures and enhancing integration. This is the case forIt's the case of many tourist guideslots of tourist guides that decided to move abroad and enjoy a different lifestyle and culture, trying to share their feelings with visitors. Also speaking the language of the place we visit can help us understand people from different cultures. In addition, the large amount of money generated by tourisma large amount of money around the tourism business counteractscontrasts the tendency of some countries to close their bordersborder to foreign visitorspeople. This can lead to a better understandingcomprehension of these cultures and so to integration. In conclusion, the biggest industry in the world has to recognise the needhave to feel the need of changes in the way tourism is structured, so it could become a meansmean of integration and reciprocal understanding rather than creating tensionsmore than create tensions between cultures.
Why this response received Band 6.0
The response explores both the tensions caused by tourism and its potential to promote cultural understanding, using several relevant examples and a generally clear line of thought. Its main limitation is that the degree of agreement remains somewhat implicit and some supporting claims are only briefly explained. The highest priority is to state a precise position early and develop each main reason with a clearer cause-and-effect explanation.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Response
The response addresses the issue from both sides and reaches a relevant conclusion, though its exact degree of agreement is not consistently explicit and development is uneven.
State a precise position in the introduction and make every body paragraph clearly support that position with fully explained reasoning.
Coherence and Cohesion
Ideas progress logically through negative and positive effects, but the lack of visible paragraphing and some loose linking reduce organisational clarity.
Separate the introduction, each main idea, and the conclusion into clear paragraphs with more precise internal transitions.
Lexical Resource
The response uses a reasonably varied vocabulary for culture and tourism, but recurrent word-choice and collocation problems reduce precision.
Replace inaccurate combinations such as references to cultural costumes with precise terms such as customs and check verb-noun collocations carefully.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
A mix of simple and complex structures conveys the message clearly, although agreement, article, preposition, and verb-form errors recur.
Proofread systematically for subject-verb agreement and article use, especially in complex sentences about tourism and cultures.
Write this task while it is fresh
Try the same task now. It helps you remember the feedback and write better next time.
IELTS Writing Task 2
Nowadays, international tourism is the biggest industry in the world. Unfortunately, international tourism creates tension rather than understanding between people from different cultures. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.