Nowadays, international tourism is the biggest industry in the world. Unfortunately, international tourism creates tension rather than understanding between people from different cultures. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?
Sample Response
In recent times, the role of the tourism industry in the world economy cannot be neglected. The tourism industry has emerged as one of the biggest industry in the world, providing jobs to millions. Often it is said, that world is becoming smaller, and I believe it is because of this frequent international travel. I do not agree that international tourism creates tension; in fact, it brings different culture together. When a person travels from one country to another, they learn about each other’s culture, cuisine and habits. People become more tolerant towards each other’s differences. International tourism helps people in experiencing the natural beauty which could not be found in their country. I believe, due to increased international travel, people have subdued. For instance, countries like Maldives, Thailand, India (Goa) etc. thrives on tourism and we can clearly notice the difference between the people’s attitude towards each other in these places as compared to others. People are friendlier, understanding and accommodating. They are ready to change themselves easily to cater to new demands of tourist. Another good example would be Dubai, which is part of UAE but is very different than any other emirates. It is because of international tourism that Dubai is more tolerant and modern and developed. The biggest pros of international tourism are, we can learn a lot from different countries. For instance, if you go to Singapore, you cannot help but notice how effective their public transport systems are; and how stringently all the rules are followed. Similarly, many tourists come to India to seek spiritual guidance and to learn yoga, which they might not get in their country. In a nutshell, I think, international travel alleviates tension between the two nations rather than creating. In today’s economy, when every country is interdependent for trade and business, international travel helps people from different countries to understand each other and exist in harmony.
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Use plural noun Original: industry Suggested revision: industries Why it matters: The phrase ‘one of the’ requires a plural count noun.
- 2. Fix article and comma Original: it is said, that world Suggested revision: it is said that the world Why it matters: Remove the unnecessary comma and add the definite article before ‘world’.
- 3. Remove unclear determiner Original: this frequent international travel Suggested revision: frequent international travel Why it matters: The demonstrative ‘this’ has no clear singular referent here.
- 4. Use plural culture Original: culture Suggested revision: cultures Why it matters: Several distinct cultures are being discussed, so the noun should be plural.
- 5. Fix verb pattern Original: helps people in experiencing Suggested revision: helps people experience Why it matters: ‘Help’ takes the object followed directly by the base verb in this construction.
- 6. Match plural reference Original: found in their country Suggested revision: found in their own countries Why it matters: The plural noun ‘people’ requires a plural reference to their respective countries.
- 7. Use correct expression Original: have subdued Suggested revision: have become more tolerant Why it matters: ‘Have subdued’ is incomplete and does not express the intended change in people’s attitudes.
- 8. Fix place list agreement Original: countries like Maldives, Thailand, India (Goa) etc. thrives Suggested revision: places such as the Maldives, Thailand and Goa in India thrive Why it matters: This revision corrects the place labels, removes the vague list ending, and makes the verb agree with the plural subject.
- 9. Use plural attitudes Original: the people’s attitude Suggested revision: people’s attitudes Why it matters: The discussion concerns the attitudes of multiple people, so the count noun should be plural.
- 10. Complete the comparison Original: as compared to others Suggested revision: and those elsewhere Why it matters: The revised phrase provides a clear second term for the stated difference between attitudes.
- 11. Use plural tourist Original: tourist Suggested revision: tourists Why it matters: The general group of visitors requires the plural noun ‘tourists’.
- 12. Fix comparison form Original: different than any other emirates Suggested revision: different from the other emirates Why it matters: ‘Different from’ correctly compares Dubai with the remaining plural emirates.
Suggested Rewrites
- industry industries
- it is said, that world it is said that the world
- this frequent international travel frequent international travel
- culture cultures
- helps people in experiencing helps people experience
- found in their country found in their own countries
Why this response received Band 6.5
The response maintains a clear position and supports it with several relevant examples of how tourism can encourage learning and tolerance. Its impact is reduced by one-block organization, some loosely connected or unclear claims, and recurring language errors; the highest priority is to divide the argument into focused paragraphs and explain each example more precisely in relation to cultural understanding.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Response
A clear disagreement is sustained and supported with relevant reasons and examples, although some points are only loosely explained or tangential.
Develop fewer examples more fully by showing exactly how each one reduces cultural tension.
Coherence and Cohesion
The argument progresses broadly logically, but presenting the entire response as one paragraph weakens the grouping and prominence of ideas.
Use an introduction, focused body paragraphs with distinct central ideas, and a separate conclusion.
Lexical Resource
There is adequate range for discussing tourism and culture, but recurring word-choice and collocation errors reduce precision.
Replace inaccurate phrases such as people have subdued and demands of tourist with natural, context-appropriate expressions.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
A mix of simple and complex structures communicates meaning clearly, despite recurring errors with articles, agreement, plurals, and punctuation.
Proofread systematically for article use and subject-verb agreement, especially around singular and plural noun phrases.
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IELTS Writing Task 2
Nowadays, international tourism is the biggest industry in the world. Unfortunately, international tourism creates tension rather than understanding between people from different cultures. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.