International tourism has brought enormous benefits to many places. At the same time, there is concern about its impact on local inhabitants and the environment. Do the disadvantages of international tourism outweigh the advantages?
Sample Response
International tourism has undeniably provided substantial benefits to many destinations worldwide. However, alongside these benefits, there are significant concerns regarding its impact on local communities and the environment. While tourism drives economic growth and cultural exchange, its disadvantages, particularly in terms of environmental degradation and cultural erosion, often outweigh these advantages.
One of the primary advantages of international tourism is its contribution to the economy. Tourism generates revenue, creates jobs, and stimulates local businesses. For instance, countries like Thailand and Spain rely heavily on tourism as a vital part of their economies, providing employment opportunities and boosting infrastructure development. Moreover, tourism fosters cultural exchange, allowing for greater understanding and appreciation of diverse cultures. Visitors often gain insights into local traditions and lifestyles, promoting global harmony.
However, the disadvantages of international tourism are increasingly concerning. Environmental degradation is one of the most significant issues. Popular tourist destinations often suffer from pollution, deforestation, and depletion of natural resources. For example, the Great Barrier Reef in Australia has experienced significant damage due to over-tourism, affecting marine life and coral health. Additionally, mass tourism can lead to the erosion of local cultures. Traditional customs and lifestyles may be commercialised or lost altogether as destinations cater to the preferences of international visitors. Venice, for instance, has seen a decline in its traditional way of life due to the overwhelming influx of tourists, leading to the displacement of local residents. In my opinion, while international tourism brings economic and cultural benefits, the negative impacts on the environment and local communities are more pressing. Governments and the tourism industry must implement sustainable practices to mitigate these adverse effects.
In conclusion, although international tourism offers considerable economic and cultural advantages, the detrimental effects on the environment and local societies outweigh these benefits. A sustainable approach to tourism is essential to ensure that the positive aspects can be enjoyed without compromising the well-being of destinations and their inhabitants.
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Avoid close repetition Original: alongside these benefits Suggested revision: alongside these gains Why it matters: “Gains” avoids repeating “benefits” from the preceding sentence while preserving the meaning.
- 2. Clarify economic scope Original: contribution to the economy Suggested revision: contribution to local economies Why it matters: The plural local reference more precisely matches the discussion of multiple destinations.
- 3. Use precise outcome Original: promoting global harmony Suggested revision: promoting cross-cultural understanding Why it matters: This wording states the specific outcome developed in the preceding clause.
- 4. Improve collocation Original: are increasingly concerning Suggested revision: are increasingly serious Why it matters: “Increasingly serious” is a more direct collocation for worsening disadvantages.
- 5. Use concise collocation Original: experienced significant damage Suggested revision: suffered significant damage Why it matters: “Suffered damage” expresses the same relationship more concisely.
- 6. Remove repeated stance marker Original: In my opinion, Suggested revision: Delete Why it matters: The introduction already establishes the writer’s position, so this marker is unnecessary here.
- 7. Use precise wording Original: positive aspects can be enjoyed Suggested revision: benefits can be maintained Why it matters: “Maintained” fits the essay’s focus on sustaining tourism benefits more precisely than “enjoyed”.
- 8. Avoid personification Original: the well-being of destinations and their inhabitants Suggested revision: the environment or local inhabitants Why it matters: Destinations do not literally possess well-being, whereas the environment and inhabitants can be harmed.
- 9. Sentence rewrite Original: For instance, countries like Thailand and Spain rely heavily on tourism as a vital part of their economies, providing employment opportunities and boosting infrastructure development. Suggested revision: For instance, countries such as Thailand and Spain rely heavily on tourism, which provides employment opportunities and supports infrastructure development. Why it matters: The rewrite removes the redundant expression and makes tourism, rather than the countries, the clear source of the two benefits.
- 10. Separate disadvantage themes Suggested revision: Organise environmental damage and cultural erosion as two distinct paragraph sections, keeping the comparative judgement at the end. Why it matters: The long paragraph moves through two major themes and the writer’s judgement without a clear internal division.
Suggested Rewrites
- alongside these benefits alongside these gains
- contribution to the economy contribution to local economies
- promoting global harmony promoting cross-cultural understanding
- are increasingly concerning are increasingly serious
- experienced significant damage suffered significant damage
- In my opinion, Delete
Why this response received Band 8.0
The response gives a direct, consistently maintained judgement and develops both economic and cultural benefits and environmental and social costs with relevant examples. Its main limitation is that some claims remain broad and familiar rather than being analysed in depth. To improve further, explain the causal links in the examples more precisely and make the comparison between the scale of benefits and harms more explicit.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Detailed feedback by IELTS writing criterion after the annotated essay.
Task Response
The question is fully addressed through a clear position, balanced consideration of both sides, and relevant supporting examples.
Make the outweighing judgement even stronger by explicitly comparing the severity and durability of the identified benefits and harms.
Coherence and Cohesion
Information is sequenced logically in well-focused paragraphs, and cohesive devices guide the argument smoothly without distracting repetition.
Strengthen the transition into the final judgement by linking it more explicitly to the preceding environmental and cultural evidence.
Lexical Resource
Vocabulary is wide, precise, and appropriately academic, with effective control of topic-specific expressions and natural collocations.
Refine a few broad formulations by choosing more specific language for the mechanisms of cultural and environmental damage.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
A wide range of complex sentence forms is used accurately and flexibly, with consistently clear punctuation and control.
Maintain this accuracy while varying the shape of example sentences to avoid repeated introductory patterns.
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IELTS Writing Task 2
International tourism has brought enormous benefits to many places. At the same time, there is concern about its impact on local inhabitants and the environment. Do the disadvantages of international tourism outweigh the advantages?
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.