International tourism has brought enormous benefits to many places. At the same time, there is concern about its impact on local inhabitants and the environment. Do the disadvantages of international tourism outweigh the advantages?
Sample Response
It is a fact that intIt is a fact that international tourism has already become a popular and huge industry these days, and many places have reaped the benefits of it. However, some people opine that the activity hurts the local communities. This essay will discuss the advantages and disadvantages of international tourism and opine that it has more benefits than drawbacks.
On the one hand, some people think that international tourism activities bring some disadvantages to the local area. They are afraid that the local environment will deteriorate as more and more people visit there. For example, Mount Everest is one of the top destinations for international travellers, but it is reported that the amount of garbage that tourists produce has increased rapidly in the past few years. Consequently, it might have a catastrophic effect on the local environment there. Another reason for this concern is that tourists will bring some negative cultures to the local people. For instance, some Western people like to drink alcoholic beverages, and elders of the local societies are afraid that the local people would also be interested in drinking those liquors.
On the other hand, many people believe that travelling abroad for leisure activities would bring a lot of benefits for the destination places. Firstly, it creates a lot of job opportunities for the local people as some of them could become tour guides or run small businesses. Secondly, when foreign travellers come to a country, they will spend their money on various activities. It means that they will also bring revenue to the local government in the form of tax. As a result, the government would have enough budgets for maintaining the public facilities around the places and the local environment as well. Lastly, it also attracts investors in building resorts and hotels in the surrounding areas. The development of these places will absorb many employments not only from the local area but from other cities and countries as well.
In conclusion, despite its negative effects, I personally believe that global tourism industries would bring more benefits to the local inhabitants and communities. It boosts the economic condition of the country and creates job opportunities for the local people. As for the negative effects, it really depends on how the government would make clear regulations and implement them.
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Remove duplicated text Original: It is a fact that intIt is a fact that Suggested revision: It is a fact that Why it matters: The opening phrase was accidentally duplicated.
- 2. Use natural industry adjective Original: huge Suggested revision: vast Why it matters: “Huge” is informal for describing an industry’s scale.
- 3. Clarify pronoun reference Original: reaped the benefits of it Suggested revision: reaped its benefits Why it matters: The possessive pronoun refers clearly and concisely to tourism.
- 4. Use natural reporting verb Original: opine Suggested revision: argue Why it matters: “Argue” is more natural than the formal and uncommon verb “opine.”
- 5. Name tourism directly Original: the activity hurts Suggested revision: tourism harms Why it matters: The revision removes a vague reference and uses a more formal verb.
- 6. Use natural disadvantage phrase Original: international tourism activities bring some disadvantages Suggested revision: international tourism has some disadvantages Why it matters: An activity “has” disadvantages rather than brings them.
- 7. Remove vague location adverb Original: visit there Suggested revision: visit the area Why it matters: The revision identifies the destination more clearly.
- 8. Use formal ranking phrase Original: top Suggested revision: leading Why it matters: “Leading” is more suitable for formal prose than “top.”
- 9. Remove redundant location Original: the local environment there Suggested revision: the local environment Why it matters: “Local” already identifies the relevant location.
- 10. Clarify cultural practices Original: negative cultures Suggested revision: undesirable cultural practices Why it matters: A whole culture is not simply negative; the concern is about particular practices.
- 11. Correct benefit preposition Original: bring a lot of benefits for Suggested revision: bring many benefits to Why it matters: Benefits are brought “to” a place or group.
- 12. Use concise destination noun Original: the destination places Suggested revision: the destinations Why it matters: “Destination places” is redundant.
Suggested Rewrites
- It is a fact that intIt is a fact that It is a fact that
- huge vast
- reaped the benefits of it reaped its benefits
- opine argue
- the activity hurts tourism harms
- international tourism activities bring some disadvantages international tourism has some disadvantages
Why this response received Band 7.0
The response gives a clear comparative judgement and develops both environmental or cultural drawbacks and economic advantages with relevant examples. Its organization is strong, but several claims are somewhat generalized and recurring unnatural word combinations reduce precision. The highest priority is to refine lexical control and explain the comparison between the two sides more explicitly so the conclusion feels fully demonstrated.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Response
Both sides are relevantly developed and the response consistently concludes that the advantages are greater.
Make the weighing more explicit by explaining why the economic gains are more significant or manageable than the identified harms.
Coherence and Cohesion
Clear paragraphing, logical sequencing, and effective signposting support an easy-to-follow comparison.
Strengthen cohesion within body paragraphs by linking each example directly back to the comparative judgement rather than simply listing impacts.
Lexical Resource
A good range of tourism and economic vocabulary is used, but inaccurate collocations and word forms recur.
Replace unnatural phrases concerning culture, budgets, employment, and economic conditions with precise standard collocations.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
The response uses a range of complex structures with generally clear meaning, despite recurring agreement, article, and construction errors.
Check noun countability, subject-verb agreement, and verb-complement patterns, especially in sentences describing economic effects.
Write this task while it is fresh
Try the same task now. It helps you remember the feedback and write better next time.
IELTS Writing Task 2
International tourism has brought enormous benefits to many places. At the same time, there is concern about its impact on local inhabitants and the environment. Do the disadvantages of international tourism outweigh the advantages?
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.