Large shopping malls are replacing small shops. What is your opinion about this? Discuss with appropriate examples.
Same question Compare all 3 answers See different approaches and band scores for this IELTS task.Sample Response
This is a true fact to consider that the present world has become a global village. Therefore, people are motivated to buy their necessities from the competitive market. As a result, a great number of shopping malls has established in the past two decades in almost all cities of the world. Considering this there are some analysts who hold an opinion that large shopping malls are replacing small shops, while others consider that, large shopping malls should not be replacing small shops. This essay will assertion both side of this contention before deducing a reasonable conclusion.
There are reasons for people to believe that large shopping malls are important to be established as multi stories shopping malls come with a large number of stores and other facilities under one roof. First and foremost time saving from shopping from such multi-complex buildings could be a significant factor. It may be defined as the majority of them prefer to go to the shopping malls rather than the single stores because a variety of options are available in one complex. For example, clothes, groceries, banks, pharmacies, cinemas, food courts, and restaurants etc. are all available under a single roof and people get better environment from such an establishment.
There are some groups who are in favour of single shops and opine that this trend should be continued. They have their reasons as well. In spite of views discussed above regarding why large shopping malls are ideal to the modern society. Parking problems could be a substantial reason behind the opponent's viewpoint. There including excursive crowding in the shopping complex, especially on weekends and holidays. As a result, shoppers have to spend a long time in the parking bays rather than shopping in small shops. The prices in large shopping malls are often unreasonable and people end up purchasing more than they actually need. The large shopping malls are not often convenient for the lower and middle-class population.
In last, undoubtedly, whether shopping in a large shopping complex or single small shops could be a matter of discussion; however, as far as I am concerned, big shopping malls have immense benefits to the modern society that outweigh the options and conveniences offered by the small shops.
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Remove redundancy Original: true fact Suggested revision: fact Why it matters: A fact is already understood to be true, so the modifier is redundant.
- 2. Fix passive verb Original: a great number of shopping malls has established Suggested revision: a great number of shopping malls have been established Why it matters: The plural subject requires a plural passive verb form.
- 3. Add introductory comma Original: Considering this there Suggested revision: Considering this, there Why it matters: A comma should separate the introductory phrase from the main clause.
- 4. Use natural collocation Original: hold an opinion Suggested revision: hold the opinion Why it matters: The definite article makes this reference to a stated opinion more natural.
- 5. Remove stray comma Original: consider that, Suggested revision: consider that Why it matters: A comma cannot separate the reporting verb from its following clause.
- 6. Use correct verb Original: assertion Suggested revision: discuss Why it matters: A verb is required after the modal auxiliary, whereas assertion is a noun.
- 7. Use plural noun Original: both side Suggested revision: both sides Why it matters: Both must be followed by a plural count noun here.
- 8. Remove awkward passive Original: important to be established Suggested revision: important Why it matters: The passive infinitive is unnecessary because the sentence already discusses established malls.
- 9. Clarify transition Original: First and foremost time saving Suggested revision: First and foremost, saving time Why it matters: The transition needs a comma, and the gerund phrase provides a grammatical subject.
- 10. Fix preposition Original: shopping from Suggested revision: shopping in Why it matters: People shop in a building rather than from it in this context.
- 11. Clarify reference Original: the majority of them Suggested revision: the majority of shoppers Why it matters: The pronoun has no clear plural human antecedent.
- 12. Choose precise adjective Original: single stores Suggested revision: individual stores Why it matters: Individual clearly contrasts separate shops with a multi-store complex.
Suggested Rewrites
- true fact fact
- a great number of shopping malls has established a great number of shopping malls have been established
- Considering this there Considering this, there
- hold an opinion hold the opinion
- consider that, consider that
- assertion discuss
Why this response received Band 5.5
The response offers a clear final preference and presents relevant advantages and disadvantages, with practical points about convenience, parking, prices, and accessibility. Its main limitation is uneven development: several claims are listed rather than fully explained, while frequent awkward or incomplete constructions disrupt clarity. The highest priority is to build each body paragraph around one clearly expressed reason, then explain its relevance and support it with a specific example.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Detailed feedback by IELTS writing criterion after the annotated essay.
Task Response
The response addresses the issue from both sides and reaches a clear opinion, but several relevant ideas remain briefly explained or unsupported.
Develop fewer main points more fully by explaining how each one supports the final preference and adding a specific example.
Coherence and Cohesion
The four-paragraph structure gives the essay a broadly clear progression, although fragments, repetition, and awkward linking sometimes interrupt the flow.
Use complete topic sentences and clearer logical links within paragraphs instead of relying on formulaic transitions or disconnected statements.
Lexical Resource
The vocabulary covers the topic with some variety, but frequent inaccurate choices and collocations reduce precision and naturalness.
Prioritise accurate everyday collocations, such as shopping centre, save time, and heavy crowding, before attempting less familiar expressions.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
A mixture of sentence forms is attempted, but frequent errors in agreement, articles, word forms, and sentence boundaries weaken control.
Proofread each sentence for a complete clause, correct subject-verb agreement, and accurate noun and verb forms.
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IELTS Writing Task 2
Large shopping malls are replacing small shops. What is your opinion about this? Discuss with appropriate examples.
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.