Large shopping malls are replacing small shops. What is your opinion about this? Discuss with appropriate examples.
Same question Compare all 4 answers See different approaches and band scores for this IELTS task.Sample Response
It is true that the numbers of large malls have increased rapidly in the past few years, and many people believe that they are replacing the traditional shops. I personally feel that there should be some clear regulations about the design of malls in each city; therefore the existence of these shopping malls will not replace the small shops. It is a fact that many large shopping malls are built in big cities these days, such as in Singapore, Jakarta or Tokyo. These giant malls offer various kinds of shops in one place; therefore people should not have to go to different places when they are looking for their needs. Then, these shopping malls are also equipped with air conditioner, so visitors will feel comfortable when they walk around the malls. And lastly, these shopping malls also being managed and monitored by security guards, therefore many people feel safe walking around in these malls. However, despite all the benefits of these large shopping centres, the existence of these shopping malls has some negative effects on small shops. Many property developers are building their malls near a traditional market, which affected the sales of many small and traditional shops. As more people choose to go to large shopping malls, the numbers of people who purchase at small shops become lesser and lesser each day. As a consequence, many of these shops owners have to close their business or have to reduce the number of employees. In conclusion, the number of mega malls is increasing these days, and some people believe that they will replace traditional markets. I personally believe that the existence of shopping malls will boost the economic growth of the city, but small shops also create many jobs opportunities as well. So it is the government task to make some strict regulations about the city’s layout, therefore the existence of large shopping malls and small shops will be appropriate.
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Use singular number Original: the numbers of large malls Suggested revision: the number of large malls Why it matters: A single total is expressed with “the number of”, followed by a plural count noun.
- 2. Use regulatory collocation Original: some clear regulations about Suggested revision: clear regulations governing Why it matters: Regulations “govern” an activity or design rather than being described vaguely as about it.
- 3. Punctuate conjunctive adverb Original: city; therefore the existence Suggested revision: city; therefore, the existence Why it matters: The conjunctive adverb “therefore” should be followed by a comma.
- 4. Remove extra preposition Original: such as in Singapore Suggested revision: such as Singapore Why it matters: “Such as” introduces the example directly without a following “in”.
- 5. Use concise variety phrase Original: various kinds of shops Suggested revision: a wide variety of shops Why it matters: The revision conveys the range of shops more naturally and concisely.
- 6. Add connector comma Original: place; therefore people Suggested revision: place; therefore, people Why it matters: A comma is required after the conjunctive adverb “therefore”.
- 7. Remove conflicting modal Original: should not have to go Suggested revision: do not have to go Why it matters: “Should not have to” expresses an expectation, while the sentence states a practical consequence.
- 8. Use shopping expression Original: looking for their needs Suggested revision: shopping for what they need Why it matters: People shop for needed items; they do not look for their needs.
- 9. Use additive connector Original: Then Suggested revision: In addition Why it matters: The sentence adds another feature rather than describing the next event in time.
- 10. Use uncountable system noun Original: equipped with air conditioner Suggested revision: equipped with air conditioning Why it matters: The general climate-control system is expressed as uncountable “air conditioning”.
- 11. Use concise final connector Original: And lastly Suggested revision: Finally Why it matters: “Finally” introduces the last point without an unnecessary coordinating conjunction.
- 12. Add passive auxiliary Original: also being managed and monitored Suggested revision: are also managed and monitored Why it matters: The passive construction requires the finite auxiliary “are”.
Suggested Rewrites
- the numbers of large malls the number of large malls
- some clear regulations about clear regulations governing
- city; therefore the existence city; therefore, the existence
- such as in Singapore such as Singapore
- various kinds of shops a wide variety of shops
- place; therefore people place; therefore, people
Why this response received Band 6.0
The response’s strongest feature is its relevant account of why malls attract customers and how this can reduce small shops’ sales, employment, and survival. Its main limitation is an underdefined opinion: the essay proposes layout regulations but never clearly states whether malls replacing small shops is desirable, nor how those regulations would prevent it. The highest priority is to establish a firm judgement and support the proposed policy with a concrete mechanism or example.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Detailed feedback by IELTS writing criterion after the annotated essay.
Task Response
Relevant benefits and harms are discussed, but the writer’s evaluation and the connection between city-planning rules and shop survival remain insufficiently developed.
State whether the replacement trend is positive or negative overall and explain how zoning, location limits, or small-business protections would address it.
Coherence and Cohesion
The ideas move recognisably from mall benefits to effects on small shops and a conclusion, but the absence of paragraph breaks weakens organisation.
Separate the introduction, benefits, harms, and conclusion into distinct paragraphs and use one controlling idea in each.
Lexical Resource
The response has adequate vocabulary for shopping, property, employment, and regulation, but frequent repetition and awkward collocations reduce flexibility.
Use natural expressions such as ‘number of malls’, ‘meet their needs’, ‘air conditioning’, ‘shop at small retailers’, and ‘job opportunities’.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
The essay attempts varied structures, but frequent errors in agreement, articles, possessives, verb forms, and sentence boundaries limit accuracy.
Proofread subjects and verb phrases, particularly ‘malls are managed’, ‘development affects sales’, ‘shop owners’, and ‘it is the government’s task’.
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IELTS Writing Task 2
Large shopping malls are replacing small shops. What is your opinion about this? Discuss with appropriate examples.
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.