In many countries, primary and secondary schools close for two months or more in the summer holidays. What is the value of long school holidays? What are the arguments in favour of shorter school holidays?
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Sample Response
In the contemporarycomtemporary world, educational institutions have adopted different approaches to school holidays. A number of primary and secondary schools across different countries close for two or more months particularly in summer holidays. Although long holidays are crucial for children as they can engage in and exploreengage and explore different and meaningful activities, new destinations along with potentially having adequate time to spend with their parents and extended families, shorter school holidays play a vital role in their continuouscontinues academic learning.
Onon the one hand, longer school holidays in summer time allow children to engage in their preferredprefered activities particularly when the days are longer and warm during this time. They can enjoy swimming, fishing, and hiking with their parents, grandparents and other extended family members, thereby spendingthereby, they spend quality timea quality time with their social circles. Furthermore, during the longer school holidays, children can travel abroad or to new destinations where they may have opportunities to explore distinct culturesculture, learn new languages and connect with people. Such experiences play an important role in strengthening children's social skills. Therefore, the longer school holidays in summer can be beneficialbenificial for children to participate in meaningful activities and enhance their social skills.
On the otherothe hand, shorter school holidays are equally important because they allow children to continue their academic learning. Aa few days of school holidays may not be disruptivedistruptive as longer days off can be for children's formal learning. As a result, children are more likely to focus on learning academic curriculumcuriculam and achieve higher scores which potentially be profound for their future career.
In conclusion, many primary and secondary schools across different nations give longer holidays to students particularly in summer. There are considerable benefitsbenifits of it for children's social developmentdevelopmet; however, shorter school holidays are equally important in students' continuouscontinues learning.
Why this response received Band 6.5
The essay effectively addresses both parts of the prompt by explaining the benefits of long summer breaks and presenting arguments for shorter holidays. Ideas are clearly presented and supported, though the body paragraphs could expand slightly more on the educational arguments for shorter breaks. To achieve a higher score, focus on eliminating basic spelling errors and ensuring consistent sentence capitalization throughout.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Response
The candidate directly answers both prompt questions by exploring the personal and social benefits of long holidays alongside the academic advantages of shorter ones.
Provide a more fully developed argument for shorter holidays by elaborating on specific issues like learning loss or stress.
Coherence and Cohesion
Information and ideas are organized logically across clear paragraphs with effective paragraph-level linking.
Vary cohesive devices slightly more to avoid overusing standard transitional phrases at the start of paragraphs.
Lexical Resource
The vocabulary used is generally appropriate and varied, but frequent spelling mistakes reduce the precision and accuracy.
Carefully proofread the essay to correct recurring spelling errors in common words such as 'benificial', 'curiculam', and 'distruptive'.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
A good range of complex structures is used, but minor grammatical errors and punctuation issues like uncapitalized sentence beginnings occur.
Ensure every sentence starts with a capital letter and pay attention to clause connectors to prevent run-on sentences.