Multinational companies are becoming increasingly common in developing countries. What are the advantages and disadvantages of this?
Sample Response
In recent years, the operation of big corporations is ubiquitous in developing nations. The essay will first suggest that economic growth is the prime benefit, while the excessive use of emergent nations’ natural resources is the main drawback. One evident benefit of the operation of transitional companies in less developed countries is the prosperity of the local economy. That is to say, multination companies provide an inflow of capital into developing countries. This investment not only creates job opportunities for the people in developing nations, but it also helps to build better infrastructure, such as bridges, roads, and transportation facilities, for them. For example, the role of Foreign Direct Investment in the year 2010 was undeniable because it uplifted the Indian economy so fast and increased GDP and created so many jobs for locals. The prime disadvantage is that these companies use the natural resources of developing nations recklessly, which affects the environment. In other words, Smaller, less developed governments often trade an increase in revenue for access to natural resources. This extraction of raw materials, such as oil, diamond, rubber and fuel, can cause environmental externalities- polluted rivers and loss of natural landscape. For instance, many Chinese private enterprises have been heavily criticised for using the resources of countries like Vietnam, Thailand and the Philippine and for polluting the environment. In conclusion, huge global companies benefit less developed nation economically is the prime advantage of this, and the extraction of raw materials for the sake of profit is the main disadvantage.
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Fix the subject phrase Original: the operation of big corporations is Suggested revision: large multinational corporations are Why it matters: The revision gives the sentence a natural plural subject that agrees with the verb.
- 2. State the argument directly Original: The essay will first suggest Suggested revision: This essay argues Why it matters: The revision removes mechanical signposting and presents the central claim directly.
- 3. Use the correct term Original: emergent Suggested revision: developing Why it matters: Emergent does not accurately name the developing countries described in the task.
- 4. Correct the company type Original: transitional Suggested revision: multinational Why it matters: Transitional companies is the wrong term for businesses operating across countries.
- 5. Use a precise collocation Original: prosperity Suggested revision: growth Why it matters: Economic growth is the specific benefit developed in the following sentences.
- 6. Correct the word form Original: multination Suggested revision: multinational Why it matters: The adjective multinational is required before companies.
- 7. Fix correlative structure Original: , but it also helps Suggested revision: but also helps Why it matters: The paired construction should read not only creates but also helps without an extra subject.
- 8. Name the investment directly Original: the role of Foreign Direct Investment Suggested revision: foreign direct investment Why it matters: The role of is an unnecessary abstraction, and the general term does not require capitals.
- 9. Use concise time wording Original: in the year 2010 Suggested revision: in 2010 Why it matters: The shorter time expression conveys exactly the same information.
- 10. Avoid an absolute claim Original: was undeniable because it Suggested revision: had a clear impact because it Why it matters: The revision states the claimed effect directly instead of using an unsupported absolute.
- 11. Use formal wording Original: uplifted the Indian economy so fast Suggested revision: rapidly boosted the Indian economy Why it matters: So fast is informal here, while boosted collocates naturally with economy.
- 12. Clarify the coordination Original: and increased GDP and created Suggested revision: by increasing GDP and creating Why it matters: The participial structure clearly shows how the investment affected the economy.
Suggested Rewrites
- the operation of big corporations is large multinational corporations are
- The essay will first suggest This essay argues
- emergent developing
- transitional multinational
- prosperity growth
- multination multinational
Why this response received Band 7.0
The response gives a clear advantage and disadvantage, and both are supported with relevant explanation and examples. Its main limitation is presentation as one continuous paragraph, compounded by several inaccurate word choices and an ungrammatical concluding sentence. Prioritise dividing the argument into a clear introduction, two body paragraphs, and a conclusion, then proofread collocations and sentence structure for greater precision.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Response
The response addresses both sides directly and develops each main idea with explanation and a relevant example.
Use more specific and credible evidence to substantiate the economic and environmental claims rather than relying on broad assertions.
Coherence and Cohesion
The argument follows a logical advantage-disadvantage sequence, but the lack of paragraph breaks weakens organisation and readability.
Divide the essay into separate introduction, advantage, disadvantage, and conclusion paragraphs with clear internal topic focus.
Lexical Resource
There is a good range of topic vocabulary, though several inaccurate choices and forms reduce precision.
Correct expressions such as 'transitional companies,' 'multination companies,' and 'emergent nations' by using accurate established collocations.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
The essay uses varied complex structures with generally clear control, despite several local errors and a seriously faulty concluding sentence.
Recast the conclusion into complete clauses and proofread agreement, capitalization, punctuation, and plural forms.
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IELTS Writing Task 2
Multinational companies are becoming increasingly common in developing countries. What are the advantages and disadvantages of this?
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.