Multinational companies are becoming increasingly common in developing countries. What are the advantages and disadvantages of this?
Sample Response
More and more transnational corporations are setting up branches and factories in less developed nations. This essay will first suggest that reduced labour costs is the primary benefit for these companies, while bad publicity because of Human Rights abuses is the main drawback. The main reason multinationals set up shop in poorer countries is because it is much cheaper for them to get their goods manufactured there, due to comparatively lower salaries. In an ever more competitive marketplace, it is simply unsustainable for most companies to pay Western wages when they can pay someone a fraction of the cost to do the same job. For example, the only reason an iPad or iPhone can be sold for less than $499 is that a worker in China can assemble the unit for approximately one-tenth what an American would expect to be paid. Despite this economic benefit, Apple has recently come under scrutiny because of appalling conditions in many of its Asian factories. Workers in their Foxconn plant in China had to work under such grim circumstances, including 15-hour shifts, pressure to meet unrealistic quotas and low wages, that several of them committed suicide by leaping off the factory roof. The New York Times reported that this resulted in a 12% drop in the sale of Apple products, especially after it was reported that Apple had installed nets to stop any employees killing themselves in the future. In conclusion, huge global companies may reap the rewards of low operating costs in developing countries, but they should also keep in mind that they have a responsibility towards their workers and any infringements of their rights could negatively affect their image and stock price.
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Fix subject-verb agreement Original: is Suggested revision: are Why it matters: The plural subject costs requires the plural verb are.
- 2. Use standard capitalization Original: Human Rights abuses Suggested revision: human rights abuses Why it matters: Human rights is a common noun phrase and should not be capitalized here.
- 3. Correct reason clause Original: reason multinationals set up shop in poorer countries is because Suggested revision: reason multinationals set up operations in poorer countries is that Why it matters: A clause introduced by that correctly completes the construction the reason is.
- 4. Clarify causal wording Original: due to comparatively lower salaries Suggested revision: because salaries are comparatively lower Why it matters: The finite clause expresses the cause more clearly than the loosely attached due to phrase.
- 5. Clarify amount compared Original: a fraction of the cost Suggested revision: a fraction of that amount Why it matters: The comparison concerns the amount of wages paid, rather than a general cost.
- 6. Add required preposition Original: one-tenth what an American Suggested revision: one-tenth of what an American Why it matters: The fraction construction requires of before the comparison clause.
- 7. Clarify reference Original: Workers in their Foxconn plant Suggested revision: Workers at the Foxconn plant Why it matters: The revision removes the unclear possessive reference and uses the natural location preposition.
- 8. Use plural sales Original: in the sale of Apple products Suggested revision: in sales of Apple products Why it matters: Sales is the appropriate plural noun for a measured drop in products sold.
- 9. Use prevent construction Original: stop any employees killing themselves Suggested revision: prevent employees from killing themselves Why it matters: Prevent someone from doing something is the standard formal construction.
- 10. Use precise collocation Original: infringements Suggested revision: violations Why it matters: Violations of rights is the more natural collocation in this context.
- 11. Use concise trend phrase Original: More and more transnational corporations Suggested revision: An increasing number of transnational corporations Why it matters: The revision states the growth trend more concisely in an academic register.
- 12. Align key terminology Original: less developed nations Suggested revision: developing countries Why it matters: Using the task's central term keeps the subject consistent and precise.
Suggested Rewrites
- is are
- Human Rights abuses human rights abuses
- reason multinationals set up shop in poorer countries is because reason multinationals set up operations in poorer countries is that
- due to comparatively lower salaries because salaries are comparatively lower
- a fraction of the cost a fraction of that amount
- one-tenth what an American one-tenth of what an American
Why this response received Band 7.5
The response gives a focused, well-supported account of one commercial advantage and one reputational disadvantage, using a detailed example and precise language. Its main limitation is presentation as a single paragraph, which weakens the visible organisation of otherwise logical ideas. The highest-priority improvement is to separate the introduction, benefit, drawback, and conclusion into distinct paragraphs and slightly broaden the stakeholder perspective.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Response
Both sides of the question are directly addressed and developed through clear causal explanation and a specific, extended example.
Broaden the discussion briefly to acknowledge effects on the developing country or its workers as well as on the multinational company.
Coherence and Cohesion
The argument follows a clear internal sequence and uses referencing effectively, but the entire response appears as one paragraph despite distinct stages of discussion.
Create separate paragraphs for the introduction, advantage, disadvantage, and conclusion to make the logical structure immediately clear.
Lexical Resource
Vocabulary is wide, precise, and flexible, with effective topic-specific language and only minor issues of tone or capitalization.
Keep the register consistently formal by replacing conversational phrases such as 'set up shop' and standardizing terms such as 'human rights.'
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
Complex sentences are varied and largely accurate, with only isolated errors that do not impede communication.
Check subject-verb agreement in constructions such as 'reduced labour costs are' and refine occasional awkward complementation.
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IELTS Writing Task 2
Multinational companies are becoming increasingly common in developing countries. What are the advantages and disadvantages of this?
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.