Multinational companies are becoming increasingly common in developing countries. What are the advantages and disadvantages of this?
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Sample Response
An increasing number of transnational corporationsMore and more transnational corporations are setting up branches and factories in developing countriesless developed nations. This essay will first suggest that reduced labour costs areis the primary benefit for these companies, while bad publicity arising frombad publicity because of human rights abusesHuman Rights abuses is the main drawback. The main reason multinationals set up operations in poorer countries is thatreason multinationals set up shop in poorer countries is because it is much cheaper for them to haveget their goods manufactured there, because salaries are comparatively lowerdue to comparatively lower salaries. In an increasingly competitive marketplaceIn an ever more competitive marketplace, it is simply unsustainable for most companies to pay Western wages when they can pay someone a fraction of that amounta fraction of the cost to do the same job. For example, the only reason an iPad or iPhone can be sold for less than $499 is that a worker in China can assemble the unit for approximately one-tenth of what an Americanone-tenth what an American would expect to be paid. Despite this economic benefit, Apple has recently come under scrutiny forcome under scrutiny because of poor working conditionsappalling conditions in many of its Asian factories. Workers at the Foxconn plantWorkers in their Foxconn plant in China worked under such harsh conditionshad to work under such grim circumstances, including 15-hour shifts, pressure to meet unrealistic quotas and low wages, that several of them committed suicide by leaping off the factory roof. The New York Times reported that this resulted in a 12% drop in sales of Apple productsin the sale of Apple products, especially after it was reported that Apple had installed nets to prevent employees from killing themselvesstop any employees killing themselves in the future. In conclusion, large multinational companieshuge global companies may reap the rewards of low operating costs in developing countries, but they should also keep in mind that they have a responsibility towards their workers and any violationsinfringements of their rights could negatively affect their image and stock price.
Why this response received Band 7.5
The response gives a focused, well-supported account of one commercial advantage and one reputational disadvantage, using a detailed example and precise language. Its main limitation is presentation as a single paragraph, which weakens the visible organisation of otherwise logical ideas. The highest-priority improvement is to separate the introduction, benefit, drawback, and conclusion into distinct paragraphs and slightly broaden the stakeholder perspective.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Response
Both sides of the question are directly addressed and developed through clear causal explanation and a specific, extended example.
Broaden the discussion briefly to acknowledge effects on the developing country or its workers as well as on the multinational company.
Coherence and Cohesion
The argument follows a clear internal sequence and uses referencing effectively, but the entire response appears as one paragraph despite distinct stages of discussion.
Create separate paragraphs for the introduction, advantage, disadvantage, and conclusion to make the logical structure immediately clear.
Lexical Resource
Vocabulary is wide, precise, and flexible, with effective topic-specific language and only minor issues of tone or capitalization.
Keep the register consistently formal by replacing conversational phrases such as 'set up shop' and standardizing terms such as 'human rights.'
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
Complex sentences are varied and largely accurate, with only isolated errors that do not impede communication.
Check subject-verb agreement in constructions such as 'reduced labour costs are' and refine occasional awkward complementation.