Do you support that the nuclear technology should be used for constructive purposes?
Same question Compare 2 different answersSample Response
Nuclear technology is a subject, which triggers many a debate. The use of nuclear power in constructive purposes has been a moot issue, since its inception. In my opinion, if used with diligence, nuclear energy can be the pivot of future technological breakthroughs. Let us discourse on this below.
On a global perspective, when it comes to natural resources of power generation, the world is witnessing its exhaustion at a faster pace than ever before. For mankind to survive, finding an alternate source of energy has become inevitable, rather explicit. On this context, nuclear power emerges as the most efficient and economical alternative. Many of the experts in the field of technology assert that the need for an alternate energy source has reached such dizzy heights that nuclear revolution is becoming a reality now.
"Necessity is the mother of invention" as the saying goes, need for an efficient and at the same time cheaper energy resource has lead to the invention of nuclear power. Apart from these enchanting features, power generation, nuclear sources are considered much easier. To cite an example, labour force required in a nuclear power plant is less compared to others.
However, in the midst of the globalisation, among the many national frontiers, nuclear technology and power pose the greatest threat. Improper use of his powerful technological gizmo could lead to catastrophic effects. Another point relevant here is about the affinity of terrorism and its ambassadors towards nuclear power. The threat posed by this insane breed of people is both global and ubiquitous nowadays. Moreover, safety elapses from nuclear production plants is another risk factor involved. The nuclear power plant leakage that happened in Japan a few years ago and its atrocious effects on the Japanese would exemplify this.
From an in-depth analysis of the above-discoursed points, though the threat posed by nuclear technology is mammoth, I would still accord on its usage for constructive purposes. But one should bear in mind that, it should be moderated by benevolent and diligent hands.
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Fix relative clause Original: Nuclear technology is a subject, which Suggested revision: Nuclear technology is a subject that Why it matters: The defining relative clause should use “that” without a preceding comma.
- 2. Fix preposition Original: in Suggested revision: for Why it matters: The correct preposition with “purposes” is “for”.
- 3. Remove unnecessary comma Original: issue, since Suggested revision: issue since Why it matters: A comma should not separate the main clause from this time phrase.
- 4. Fix preposition Original: On Suggested revision: From Why it matters: The standard expression is “from a global perspective”.
- 5. Fix noun relationship Original: of Suggested revision: for Why it matters: The resources are used for generating power, so “for” expresses the relationship correctly.
- 6. Match plural reference Original: its exhaustion Suggested revision: their depletion Why it matters: The pronoun must agree with the plural noun “resources,” and “depletion” is the precise process.
- 7. Fix preposition Original: On Suggested revision: In Why it matters: The fixed expression is “in this context”.
- 8. Add article Original: nuclear revolution Suggested revision: a nuclear revolution Why it matters: The singular countable noun “revolution” requires an article.
- 9. Add definite article Original: labour force required Suggested revision: the labour force required Why it matters: The specific workforce required by a plant needs the definite article.
- 10. Make comparison clear Original: is less compared to others Suggested revision: is smaller than that required in other power plants Why it matters: The revision compares the size of the workforce with an equivalent workforce rather than with unspecified “others”.
- 11. Correct demonstrative Original: his Suggested revision: this Why it matters: “His” is a possessive pronoun, while the sentence needs the demonstrative “this”.
- 12. Use formal term Original: technological gizmo Suggested revision: technology Why it matters: “Gizmo” is informal and imprecise in an academic discussion.
Suggested Rewrites
- Nuclear technology is a subject, which Nuclear technology is a subject that
- in for
- issue, since issue since
- On From
- of for
- its exhaustion their depletion
Why this response received Band 6.5
The response maintains a clear qualified position and is well organised around the benefits and risks of constructive nuclear use. Its main limitation is that several claims are asserted broadly or supported only briefly, while ambitious vocabulary is often used in unnatural combinations and recurring grammatical errors reduce precision. The highest-priority improvement is to develop one or two specific constructive applications with accurate evidence and plainer, better-controlled language.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Response
A clear conditional endorsement is sustained, and relevant benefits and risks are discussed, though important claims about efficiency and cost receive limited support.
Develop specific constructive uses with credible examples and explain why their benefits justify the acknowledged risks.
Coherence and Cohesion
The response progresses logically from its position through benefits and risks to a qualified conclusion, with clear paragraph divisions and generally effective linking.
Strengthen links within the benefits section so that each example clearly supports the central argument rather than appearing as a separate assertion.
Lexical Resource
The essay attempts a wide range of topic vocabulary, but frequent awkward collocations and inappropriate word choices reduce naturalness and precision.
Replace inflated or misused expressions with accurate terms such as safety lapses, regulated use, and peaceful applications.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
A mix of simple and complex structures conveys the argument clearly overall, despite recurring errors with articles, prepositions, agreement, punctuation, and verb forms.
Proofread complex sentences for complete clause structure and correct small forms such as has led, this powerful technology, and safety lapses are.
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IELTS Writing Task 2
Do you support that the nuclear technology should be used for constructive purposes?
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.