The world is experiencing a dramatic increase in population. This is causing problems not only for the poor in undeveloped countries but also for industrialised and developing nations. Describe some of the problems that overpopulation causes, and suggest at least one possible solution.
Sample Response
For the past few decades, planet earth is observing a significant rise in world population which is very alarming. Substantial increase in population is also causing problems in growing countries. This essay will explain some of the problems caused by overpopulation and will recommend few possible remedies to overcome this issue.
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Capitalization Original: planet earth Suggested revision: planet Earth Why it matters: Earth is normally capitalized as a proper noun.
- 2. Word choice Original: is observing Suggested revision: has experienced Why it matters: Countries or people observe; the planet does not observe population growth.
- 3. Missing article Original: Substantial increase Suggested revision: A substantial increase Why it matters: A singular countable noun phrase needs an article.
- 4. Word choice Original: growing countries Suggested revision: developing countries Why it matters: Developing countries is the standard term.
- 5. Quantifier Original: will recommend few possible remedies Suggested revision: will recommend a few possible remedies Why it matters: Use a few when the meaning is some.
- 6. Do more than announce Original: This essay will explain Suggested revision: This essay should explain Why it matters: The response announces a plan but does not deliver the explanation.
- 7. Sentence rewrite Original: This essay will explain some of the problems caused by overpopulation and will recommend few possible remedies to overcome this issue. Suggested revision: Overpopulation can cause unemployment, housing shortages, and pressure on healthcare, while possible solutions include better urban planning and wider access to family planning. Why it matters: Replace the empty roadmap with actual main ideas if the essay will remain short.
- 8. Sentence rewrite Original: For the past few decades, planet earth is observing a significant rise in world population which is very alarming. Suggested revision: Over the past few decades, the world has experienced a significant and alarming rise in population. Why it matters: This is more natural and concise.
- 9. Response is incomplete Suggested revision: This needs a full essay of at least 250 words with developed problems, solutions, and a conclusion. Why it matters: At 51 words, it cannot adequately answer the Task 2 question.
- 10. Add essay structure Suggested revision: Use four paragraphs: introduction, problems, solutions, and conclusion. Why it matters: The current text is only an introduction, so coherence cannot be demonstrated across an essay.
Suggested Rewrites
- planet earth planet Earth
- is observing has experienced
- Substantial increase A substantial increase
- growing countries developing countries
- will recommend few possible remedies will recommend a few possible remedies
- This essay will explain This essay should explain
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Detailed feedback by IELTS writing criterion after the annotated essay.
Task Response
The response is far below the 250-word minimum and stops after an introduction. It promises problems and solutions but does not actually develop them.
Write at least two body paragraphs: one explaining major problems of overpopulation and one giving practical solutions.
Coherence and Cohesion
There is basic sentence-to-sentence flow, but no full essay structure because the response is incomplete.
Add body paragraphs and a conclusion with clear linking between problems, effects, and solutions.
Lexical Resource
Vocabulary is generally appropriate for the topic in the short sample, but the range is too limited to assess fully.
Use topic vocabulary for housing, unemployment, healthcare pressure, food supply, and family planning.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
The short response has mostly understandable grammar with some article and collocation issues. The limited length restricts evidence of range.
Use complete complex sentences in the body paragraphs, then proofread for articles and quantifiers.