Some people think parents should read or tell stories to children, while others think parents need not do that, as children can read books, watch TV or movies by themselves. Discuss both views and give your opinion.
Sample Response
Since the dawn of time, parents have been reading storybooks to their children. Throughout history, most especially mothers read stories that have lessons to be learned. Some believe that reading and telling good stories to children should be done by parents and some refute this for they can do all of that by themselves. These points of view will be discussed in this order.
It is believed by some that parents should read and tell stories to children. An idea that supports this is the psycho-social development theory of Erik Erikson where children should be easily acquired knowledge from the early childhood to school-age. It can be argued that parents especially mothers should be the one providing this. Thus, it is clear why some people gravitate towards this point of view.
On the other hand, many argue that parents do not need to do that for children are able to do those things by themselves. For example, my father and mother are both intelligent and they certainly believe that genes are hereditary. Therefore they knew that when I was a toddler until I graduated my elementary could read books that they have bought on my own. After analysing these facts, it is clear why many support this claim.
In conclusion, for reasons related to Erikson's psychosocial development theory and hereditary of parents' intellectual characteristics, the issue of whether parents should or should not read and tell stories to their children is supported and refuted by many. However, after analysing these two points of view, it is clear that children must have their parents with them in learning lessons in their story-reading. Hence, the argument that fathers and mothers should read and tell stories to their children can be supported. Thus doing this before bedtime to your children is highly recommended.
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Use concise emphasis Original: most especially mothers Suggested revision: especially mothers Why it matters: The shorter phrase expresses the emphasis more naturally.
- 2. Choose direct wording Original: stories that have lessons to be learned Suggested revision: stories that teach lessons Why it matters: This direct verb phrase is clearer and less wordy.
- 3. Clarify opposing view Original: and some refute this Suggested revision: while others reject this view Why it matters: Refute normally means to prove something false, whereas the intended meaning is disagreement.
- 4. Clarify the pronoun Original: for they can do all of that by themselves Suggested revision: because children can do all of that by themselves Why it matters: The explicit noun removes the ambiguous reference of they.
- 5. Use natural phrasing Original: in this order Suggested revision: in turn Why it matters: In turn is the more natural expression for discussing two views successively.
- 6. Prefer active voice Original: It is believed by some Suggested revision: Some people believe Why it matters: The active construction is more concise and natural here.
- 7. Set off the example Original: parents especially mothers Suggested revision: parents, especially mothers, Why it matters: The parenthetical example needs commas on both sides.
- 8. Match plural subject Original: one Suggested revision: ones Why it matters: The complement must agree with the plural subject parents.
- 9. Specify the reference Original: providing this Suggested revision: providing this guidance Why it matters: The added noun makes the reference clearer without changing the claim.
- 10. Use a clear cause Original: for Suggested revision: because Why it matters: Because signals the causal relationship more directly in contemporary academic prose.
- 11. Correct noun phrase Original: hereditary of parents' intellectual characteristics Suggested revision: the inheritance of parents' intellectual characteristics Why it matters: Hereditary is an adjective and cannot function as the head noun in this phrase.
- 12. Avoid awkward passive Original: is supported and refuted by many Suggested revision: has both supporters and opponents Why it matters: This phrasing expresses the contrast more clearly and naturally.
Suggested Rewrites
- most especially mothers especially mothers
- stories that have lessons to be learned stories that teach lessons
- and some refute this while others reject this view
- for they can do all of that by themselves because children can do all of that by themselves
- in this order in turn
- It is believed by some Some people believe
Why this response received Band 5.5
The response has a clear four-paragraph structure, considers both views, and states a consistent preference for parental involvement. Its main limitation is that the supporting logic is thin and sometimes implausible, especially the claims about psychosocial development and inherited intelligence, so key ideas are not convincingly explained. The highest priority is to replace these assertions with specific, logical reasons and examples showing how parental storytelling or independent media use affects children.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Response
Both views and a clear opinion are presented, but the main reasons are only briefly explained and the heredity argument is not convincing.
Develop each view through a logical cause-and-effect explanation and a directly relevant example.
Coherence and Cohesion
The four-paragraph organisation is clear, although progression within paragraphs is mechanical and some references and links are unclear.
Use cohesive devices more selectively and ensure each sentence develops the paragraph's central idea.
Lexical Resource
The response shows some range, including topic-related and less common vocabulary, but inaccurate collocations and word choices reduce precision.
Prioritise accurate, natural expressions such as children acquire knowledge and inherited intelligence over forced or imprecise wording.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
A mix of simple and complex structures is attempted, but frequent errors in agreement, sentence construction, and articles sometimes impede understanding.
Build shorter, complete complex sentences and check subject-verb agreement, articles, and clause structure carefully.
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IELTS Writing Task 2
Some people think parents should read or tell stories to children, while others think parents need not do that, as children can read books, watch TV or movies by themselves. Discuss both views and give your opinion.
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.