Some people think parents should read or tell stories to children, while others think parents need not do that, as children can read books, watch TV or movies by themselves. Discuss both views and give your opinion.
Sample Response
Parents take care of their children at every step. While some people believe that parents should teach children different stories, others believe that parents should not involve in that as children have the ability to understand and analyse those stories and lessons by themselves.
There are many benefits of teaching children by parents on stories. Children can understand stories by reading themselves, but not up to the level as older people can. As they grow up their analysing ability also will increase. Hence if parents make them understand stories by reading and translating, they can understand much better. Not only that, if children start reading and watching stories by themselves, there is a possibility of misunderstanding the concept of stories (If Moral stories), and also possibility of choosing the bad programs and stories by themselves. For instance, old people always advise parents to teach children good moral stories, which are used for them to improve and understand the values of a human being.
However, some people believe that parents should not always hold children for each and every step, as they read books, watch TV, so have the ability to understand the stories by reading themselves. People say that there are a lot of differences in today’s children compared to older days. It is proved that these day’s children have the ability to understand the situations and act according to that, they not only read stories but also can teach to others. For example, in today’s schools, children who have just started schooling can learn and involve in multiple tasks much faster than their parents.
To sum up, though today’s children have the ability to analyse situations and stories much better, it is always the responsibility of parents to look after on how well they understand it. It depends on each child, how good they analyse.
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Use accurate verb Original: teach children different stories Suggested revision: read or tell children different stories Why it matters: People read or tell stories to children rather than teach children stories.
- 2. Fix verb form Original: should not involve in that Suggested revision: should not get involved in that Why it matters: The verb involve needs a reflexive object or the passive form in this construction.
- 3. Correct word order Original: their analysing ability also will increase Suggested revision: their ability to analyse will also increase Why it matters: This revision uses the natural noun phrase and places also correctly with the auxiliary.
- 4. Choose natural phrasing Original: make Suggested revision: help Why it matters: Help expresses parental support more naturally than make in this context.
- 5. Clarify the action Original: by reading and translating Suggested revision: by reading and explaining them Why it matters: Explaining stories conveys the intended parental guidance more clearly than translating.
- 6. Repair parenthetical phrase Original: (If Moral stories) Suggested revision: especially moral stories Why it matters: The original parenthetical is an incomplete conditional fragment with unnecessary capitalization.
- 7. Add missing article Original: and also possibility Suggested revision: and also a possibility Why it matters: The singular countable noun possibility requires an article.
- 8. Use precise wording Original: bad programs and stories Suggested revision: unsuitable programmes and stories Why it matters: Unsuitable identifies inappropriate content more precisely than the broad adjective bad.
- 9. Use respectful term Original: old Suggested revision: older Why it matters: Older people is the conventional neutral expression for this age group.
- 10. Repair relative clause Original: which are used for them to improve and understand the values of a human being Suggested revision: which help them develop and understand human values Why it matters: The revision removes the faulty passive construction and clarifies how the stories benefit children.
- 11. Fix the expression Original: always hold children for each and every step Suggested revision: always guide children at every step Why it matters: Hold children is not the appropriate collocation for providing continual guidance.
- 12. Make comparison parallel Original: differences in today’s children compared to older days Suggested revision: differences between today’s children and children in the past Why it matters: A valid comparison needs parallel groups rather than comparing children with a time period.
Suggested Rewrites
- teach children different stories read or tell children different stories
- should not involve in that should not get involved in that
- their analysing ability also will increase their ability to analyse will also increase
- make help
- by reading and translating by reading and explaining them
- (If Moral stories) especially moral stories
Why this response received Band 6.0
The response addresses both views in a clear four-paragraph structure and maintains a generally discernible preference for parental guidance. Its main limitation is that supporting ideas are sometimes repetitive or asserted through vague examples, while frequent awkward constructions reduce precision. The highest priority is to develop each viewpoint with a specific, logically explained consequence and then express that reasoning in more natural sentence patterns.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Response
Both views are addressed and an opinion is given, but several ideas and examples remain general or only partly developed.
Explain one specific benefit or risk for each view through a clear cause-and-effect chain and make the final position more decisive.
Coherence and Cohesion
The response progresses through appropriate paragraphs, although some sentence links are repetitive or logically loose.
Use referencing and carefully chosen transitions to connect each claim to its explanation instead of relying on formulaic linking phrases.
Lexical Resource
There is enough vocabulary to discuss the topic, but inaccurate collocations and word choices recur throughout the response.
Replace awkward phrases with natural combinations such as guide children, become involved, and understand situations independently.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
A mixture of sentence forms is attempted, but frequent errors with articles, agreement, clause structure, and word forms reduce control.
Prioritise accurate subject-verb agreement and complete clause structures, then proofread each complex sentence for missing articles and prepositions.
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IELTS Writing Task 2
Some people think parents should read or tell stories to children, while others think parents need not do that, as children can read books, watch TV or movies by themselves. Discuss both views and give your opinion.
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.