It is a natural process for animal species to become extinct. There is no reason why people should try to prevent this from happening.
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Sample Response
Some people believe that there is no reason why people should try to prevent the natural process for animal species to become extinct fromextinct, from happening. I largely disagree with this view. Although some extinctions are the result of natural changes, nowadays people's activities result in more and more extinctions.
Natural environmental changeThe change of nature was the main reason forof the extinction of animal became extinct in the past, becausespecies in the past. In other words, many animal species extincted in the past, because they could not adapt to the changes of environment. For example, many huge and strong animals lived in the past, but they still became extinctthey still extincted. Because they were not able to adapt to the changes of environment, ranging from the food they ate to the habitat they lived. So, in this situation, people have no reason and do not have the ability to avoid their extinctionextiction.
However, more and more extinctionsextinction of animal species nowadays are not the result of natural changes, but human activities. It means that people's action will affect or destroy animals' habitatsbreak animal's habitat. For example, air and water pollution, deforestation and the wildlife tradeanimal trades are the key reasons for the extinction of animal species nowadays. So we need to prevent thesethis actions, to slow down or reduceput off or decline the pace of extinction. And if we can protect the animal speciesspeices, we will improve the diversity of animals, which is both beneficial for people and nature itself. So this is the main reason why we need to prevent that from happening.
In conclusion, I largely disagree with this view. Because nowadays the extinction of animal speciesspeices are mainlymain caused by people, not naturethe nature. It is significant to protect the animal species from decreasing pollution to restoring their habitats, which can increase the diversity of animal speciesspecises.
Why this response received Band 6.0
The essay presents a clear and relevant position by distinguishing between historical natural extinctions and modern human-caused loss of species. To improve, the main ideas require deeper development with more specific supporting detail rather than brief lists. Additionally, correcting recurring grammatical slips and repetitive word choices will refine the overall clarity and precision.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Response
You take a clear position against the prompt and address both natural causes and human-driven extinction.
Provide more fully developed explanations and concrete examples to explain exactly how human actions impact biodiversity.
Coherence and Cohesion
The response is logically divided into paragraphs with clear topic sentences and simple linking words.
Vary your cohesive devices and ensure smooth transitions between sentences rather than repeating basic connectives like 'so' and 'for example'.
Lexical Resource
You use topic-appropriate vocabulary such as deforestation, biodiversity, and habitat, though some word forms and combinations are inaccurate.
Focus on precise word forms and natural collocations, avoiding incorrect verb usages like 'extincted' or phrases like 'decline the pace'.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
While simple structures are usually accurate, there are frequent grammatical errors in subject-verb agreement, verb inflections, and sentence fragments.
Review past tense verb forms and subject-verb agreement rules to minimize basic grammatical errors throughout complex sentences.