Some believe that people will purchase a product based on their needs and advertising is not needed. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
Sample Response
Many have argued that advertisement serves no real purpose as necessity motivates all purchases. I disagree with this completely because ads give consumers a minimum guarantee of quality and also develop wants into needs.
First of all, advertising is the most direct way to inform customers of a given product’s quality. The content of the ad is less important than the fact they were able to produce, distribute and, oftentimes, get a celebrity endorsement. For example, KFC typically signs the most famous football players to massive sponsorship deals, thereby evidencing the continued relevance and quality of their food. When a lesser known company premiers an advertisement this is evidence that they are generating enough revenue to validate whatever product they sell or service they provide.
Secondly, advertising does not simply meet needs; it creates them. Most people could live more fulfilling lives with fewer products but advertising stimulates desires by appealing to consumer psychology and those initial wants eventually become habitual. A good example of this would be the rise of Apple products in the last two decades and the role of advertising in making them popular. Apple phones and computers are famed not only for their quality but also the sense of being part of a community of users. Stylish ads like the ‘think different’ campaign helped foster their dominance. Now the desire to become part of the Apple community and appear cool has become a basic need for many users hooked into the Apple ecosystem of high-quality consumer electronics.
In conclusion, advertising serves an important role in society. This does not mean that it should not be regulated, simply that consumers and officials should be mindful of the full contribution of advertisers.
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Use the uncountable noun Original: advertisement Suggested revision: advertising Why it matters: “Advertising” names the activity in general, while “advertisement” refers to one individual ad.
- 2. Use a natural collocation Original: a minimum guarantee of quality Suggested revision: some assurance of quality Why it matters: “Assurance of quality” expresses the intended idea more naturally than “minimum guarantee.”
- 3. Correct the verb choice Original: develop Suggested revision: turn Why it matters: “Turn X into Y” is the natural expression for this transformation.
- 4. Use a clearer verb Original: evidencing Suggested revision: demonstrating Why it matters: “Demonstrating” is clearer and more natural for showing the claimed connection.
- 5. Match the company pronoun Original: their Suggested revision: its Why it matters: The singular company name “KFC” requires the singular possessive pronoun “its.”
- 6. Add the clause comma Original: products but advertising Suggested revision: products, but advertising Why it matters: A comma is needed before “but” because it joins two independent clauses.
- 7. Fix the meaning Original: those initial wants eventually become habitual Suggested revision: those initial wants eventually become perceived needs Why it matters: Wants can become perceived needs, whereas the adjective “habitual” does not logically describe wants.
- 8. Complete the parallel form Original: but also the sense Suggested revision: but also for the sense Why it matters: Repeating “for” creates the required parallel structure after “not only for.”
- 9. Capitalize the campaign name Original: ‘think different’ campaign Suggested revision: ‘Think Different’ campaign Why it matters: The named advertising campaign should be capitalized as a title.
- 10. Correct the collocation Original: serves Suggested revision: plays Why it matters: The standard collocation is “play an important role.”
- 11. Sentence rewrite Original: The content of the ad is less important than the fact they were able to produce, distribute and, oftentimes, get a celebrity endorsement. Suggested revision: The content of the ad is less important than the fact that advertisers were able to produce and distribute it and, often, obtain a celebrity endorsement. Why it matters: The rewrite supplies a clear subject and object while keeping all three actions parallel.
- 12. Sentence rewrite Original: When a lesser known company premiers an advertisement this is evidence that they are generating enough revenue to validate whatever product they sell or service they provide. Suggested revision: When a lesser-known company premieres an advertisement, this shows that it is generating enough revenue to lend credibility to the product it sells or the service it provides. Why it matters: The rewrite corrects the spelling, punctuation, pronoun agreement, and faulty product-or-service structure.
Suggested Rewrites
- advertisement advertising
- a minimum guarantee of quality some assurance of quality
- develop turn
- evidencing demonstrating
- their its
- products but advertising products, but advertising
Why this response received Band 8.0
The essay presents an unequivocal position and develops two distinct reasons through relevant, specific examples, with particularly strong control of progression and complex language. The principal weakness is that the claim that advertising guarantees quality is somewhat overstated, while the conclusion introduces regulation without developing it. Qualify that first claim and use the conclusion to synthesize the two established reasons more directly.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Response
The question is answered directly through a clear position and two well-developed supporting arguments.
Qualify the proposed link between advertising expenditure and product quality so the reasoning is more convincing.
Coherence and Cohesion
The argument progresses clearly from the thesis through two focused body paragraphs to a concise conclusion.
Make the conclusion echo the two developed reasons instead of introducing the undeveloped issue of regulation.
Lexical Resource
Vocabulary is wide, specific, and flexible, with effective language for consumer psychology and commercial examples.
Prefer natural, exact choices where expressions such as evidencing and premiers an advertisement sound strained or inaccurate.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
Complex sentence forms are varied and consistently well controlled, with only minor punctuation lapses.
Add commas after introductory clauses and before independent clauses where needed to sharpen sentence boundaries.
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IELTS Writing Task 2
Some believe that people will purchase a product based on their needs and advertising is not needed. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.