Some people believe that professionals such as doctors and engineers should be required to work in the country where they did their training. Others believe they should be free to work in another country if they wish. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.
Sample Response
There are two points of view about if professional workers must live and work in the country they come from or can go and work in another country. In this essay, I will write about these two points of view. In my view, professionals like doctors and engineers need to stay and help their countries for a few years.
Many people think that young doctors and engineers must continue to live and work in their countries because usually governments have paid for their studies. As a result, these people should pay that back by working to help their countries in the future. Also, developing countries need as many people as possible to work, especially in hospitals and schools and so on. So, a country should not lose talented graduates to other countries, for example, doctors and nurses going to work in the UK.
On the other hand, others think that anyone can decide where to work or live, then after many years studying to become a professional, he or she will have a choice to go to another place to live, it is a good idea. Maybe the doctor or engineer will obtain more salary or study more in another country. Also, many people like office workers, construction workers and even football players can go anywhere they want, so why not doctors, engineers and other professions?
There are two points of view, one in favour, one against. In my opinion, professions such as medicine and engineering and education too, have the obligation to help their societies and one way to make that is to work for the state after they graduate. One idea is to fix a limit of, for example, three years´ work in a national hospital before a person can work in another place.
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Use whether Original: if Suggested revision: whether Why it matters: Use whether rather than if after a noun phrase referring to alternative possibilities.
- 2. Avoid redundancy Original: professional workers Suggested revision: professionals Why it matters: Professionals already identifies this group, so workers is redundant.
- 3. Match training context Original: country they come from Suggested revision: country where they trained Why it matters: The issue concerns the country of training rather than necessarily the country of origin.
- 4. Place adverb naturally Original: because usually governments have paid Suggested revision: because governments have usually paid Why it matters: Usually should follow the auxiliary verb in this clause.
- 5. Use precise verb Original: pay that back Suggested revision: repay that investment Why it matters: This phrase more precisely describes returning the benefit of public funding.
- 6. Remove redundancy Original: in the future Suggested revision: Delete Why it matters: Working after graduation already places the action in the future, so this phrase is unnecessary.
- 7. Avoid vague ending Original: especially in hospitals and schools and so on Suggested revision: especially in hospitals, schools and other essential services Why it matters: A specific category is clearer and more formal than and so on.
- 8. Express possibility correctly Original: Maybe the doctor or engineer will Suggested revision: The doctor or engineer may Why it matters: Use the modal may before the base verb to express this possibility naturally.
- 9. Correct salary collocation Original: obtain more salary Suggested revision: earn a higher salary Why it matters: English uses earn a salary, and higher is the correct comparative adjective.
- 10. Clarify further study Original: study more Suggested revision: continue their studies Why it matters: This phrase states the intended idea in a more natural academic register.
- 11. Use formal example phrase Original: people like office workers Suggested revision: workers such as office employees Why it matters: Such as introduces examples more precisely in formal writing.
- 12. Use precise wording Original: go anywhere they want Suggested revision: work wherever they choose Why it matters: The revision focuses directly on freedom of employment and uses a more formal register.
Suggested Rewrites
- if whether
- professional workers professionals
- country they come from country where they trained
- because usually governments have paid because governments have usually paid
- pay that back repay that investment
- in the future Delete
Why this response received Band 6.5
The response’s clearest strength is its direct coverage of both perspectives and a consistent personal position, supported with relevant reasons about public investment, national need, and individual freedom. Its main limitation is that several ideas remain fairly general and the language contains recurring awkward structures and collocations. The highest priority is to deepen each argument with more precise explanation while editing sentence boundaries and word combinations for greater control.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Response
Both views are addressed and a clear opinion is maintained, with relevant reasons and a practical proposal.
Develop each side more fully by explaining consequences and supporting one key point with a specific example.
Coherence and Cohesion
The four-paragraph structure gives the discussion clear progression, although some linking is mechanical and one long sentence weakens flow.
Use more varied logical connections and split overloaded sentences so each relationship is immediately clear.
Lexical Resource
The vocabulary is sufficient for the topic, but recurring unnatural collocations reduce precision and flexibility.
Replace phrases such as obtaining more salary and fixing a limit with natural combinations such as earning a higher salary and setting a time limit.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
A mix of simple and complex forms conveys meaning clearly, but agreement, clause control, and punctuation errors recur.
Check complex sentences for complete clause boundaries and accurate agreement before submitting.
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IELTS Writing Task 2
Some people believe that professionals such as doctors and engineers should be required to work in the country where they did their training. Others believe they should be free to work in another country if they wish. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.