Some people say that rich nations should help poor countries with their basic needs like food and education while others oppose the idea and argue that the poor nation themselves should try to improve their condition. Do you agree with the idea that rich and developed nations should help the poor nations? Write no less than 250 words.
Sample Response
After reckoning enough, I believe that rich or developed nations should share their wealth and resources with those inferior or poorer nations who are starveling and struggling with their system, because there will be a certain hard time which comes to everyone, so for the sake of humanity, such aid should be provided.
First of all, there are many countries which are going through some seriously astounding crisis, such as, illiteracy, crashed economy, hunger, no possessions, corrupt leaders, infectious diseases and extremism. If you contemplate these factors closely then you start to realise that everything is directly proportional to each other. We live in a world, where the ratio of diseases and terrorism is increasing exponentially and we are being victimised of its brutality, the good examples of this are Pakistan, Iraq, Afghanistan, Africa and India. Extremist and terrorist often recruit people, who are illiterate and have no conscience over anything. That is why proper education should be provided to those countries where such extremism is ignited over hunger and illiteracy. On the contrary, it should be government's number first priority to look after their citizens and provide them basic necessities. That is why we elect them to be our saviour and be ready to face any catastrophe which comes along. To sum up, I would like to maintain that, instead of being ramified, let's be unanimous and provide an aid to education and food to those countries which are not up to the standards as of first world countries, even if their government fails to sustain it.
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Use natural opening Original: After reckoning enough Suggested revision: After careful consideration Why it matters: Reckoning enough is not an idiomatic way to introduce a considered opinion.
- 2. Correct logical connector Original: or Suggested revision: and Why it matters: And reflects that the phrase describes the same group with two related qualities.
- 3. Use neutral wording Original: inferior or poorer nations Suggested revision: poorer nations Why it matters: Inferior is unnecessarily judgmental and poorer already conveys the economic comparison.
- 4. Replace unsuitable noun Original: starveling Suggested revision: suffering from hunger Why it matters: Starveling is an archaic noun and does not fit grammatically after are.
- 5. Clarify systemic difficulty Original: struggling with their system Suggested revision: struggling with systemic problems Why it matters: Their system is vague and does not clearly name the difficulties described.
- 6. Use natural expression Original: a certain hard time Suggested revision: difficult times Why it matters: Difficult times is the idiomatic expression for periods of hardship.
- 7. Match plural meaning Original: some seriously astounding crisis Suggested revision: several severe crises Why it matters: Several crises matches the plural range of problems that follows.
- 8. Remove incorrect comma Original: such as, Suggested revision: such as Why it matters: A comma should not separate such as from the examples it introduces.
- 9. Use correct collocation Original: crashed economy Suggested revision: economic collapse Why it matters: Economic collapse is the natural noun phrase for this condition.
- 10. Express connection clearly Original: everything is directly proportional to each other Suggested revision: these problems are interconnected Why it matters: Directly proportional is a mathematical relationship and does not fit this general claim.
- 11. Use measurable term Original: ratio of diseases and terrorism Suggested revision: rates of disease and terrorism Why it matters: Rates is the appropriate term for the frequency of these phenomena.
- 12. Correct preposition and reference Original: victimised of its brutality Suggested revision: victims of their brutality Why it matters: The phrase requires victims of, and their correctly refers to the two plural phenomena.
Suggested Rewrites
- After reckoning enough After careful consideration
- or and
- inferior or poorer nations poorer nations
- starveling suffering from hunger
- struggling with their system struggling with systemic problems
- a certain hard time difficult times
Why this response received Band 6.0
The response’s strongest feature is its clear support for international aid and its attempt to connect education with wider social problems. Its main weakness is uneven development: several sweeping claims and country examples are asserted rather than explained, while frequent unnatural word choices and sentence-control errors distract from the argument. The priority is to organise two focused reasons and support each with precise, credible explanation.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Response
A clear position is maintained and relevant reasons are offered, but the central ideas are unevenly developed and sometimes rely on broad assertions.
Build two distinct reasons for aid and explain clearly how each form of assistance would improve basic conditions.
Coherence and Cohesion
The overall argument is discernible, but one very long body paragraph, misused transitions, and loosely connected claims weaken progression.
Separate the discussion into focused body paragraphs and use transitions only when they accurately express the logical relationship.
Lexical Resource
The response attempts a broad range of vocabulary, but frequent inappropriate choices and collocations make several statements imprecise or strained.
Prefer accurate, familiar terms and check collocations instead of relying on elaborate words such as “starveling” or “ramified.”
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
Both simple and complex structures are attempted, but frequent agreement, article, punctuation, and clause-construction errors reduce control.
Write shorter controlled sentences, then proofread systematically for subject-verb agreement, articles, and complete clause boundaries.
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IELTS Writing Task 2
Some people say that rich nations should help poor countries with their basic needs like food and education while others oppose the idea and argue that the poor nation themselves should try to improve their condition. Do you agree with the idea that rich and developed nations should help the poor nations? Write no less than 250 words.
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.