Some people say that rich nations should help poor countries with their basic needs like food and education while others oppose the idea and argue that the poor nation themselves should try to improve their condition. Do you agree with the idea that rich and developed nations should help the poor nations? Write no less than 250 words.
Sample Response
Today’s world is divided into industrialised and developing countries, where the main difference between them is the amount of money they spend on the healthcare system, education and infrastructures. Most citizens in developing nations live under the poverty line and, in my opinion, rich countries have the ability and should take up the responsibility of supporting them.
It is true that governments of developing nations should take care of their citizens. However, since those countries are buried into debts as a result of unbalances finances, Rich countries are more equipped to help fewer fortune nations than their own governments. For example, industrialised countries can help poorer nations with some loans or grants that enable them paying off their debts. In addition, many poor countries live in subhuman conditions because of extreme poverty and epidemic diseases like AIDS and Cholera. They lack the knowledge and the sufficient medical resources to tackle such problems. However developed countries can donate them free medicines and send skilled doctors and nurses. On the other hand, people from many developing countries migrate to wealthy nations to study or to work. Rich countries benefit out of those foreigners. For example, many immigrants to France and the UK have proved themselves in those countries by working hard. But on the other side, the economies of immigrants’ countries get worse because their countries lose them while they are needed to lead their nations to a better future. Therefore, it seems to be sensible that rich countries support the immigrants’ home countries. In conclusion, I believe it would be difficult to see any progress in the economy of developing countries without the cooperation of rich nations.
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Fix clause structure Original: where the main difference between them is Suggested revision: with the main difference being Why it matters: ‘Where’ incorrectly treats the countries as a place rather than linking the comparison.
- 2. Use uncountable noun Original: infrastructures Suggested revision: infrastructure Why it matters: ‘Infrastructure’ is normally uncountable in this general sense.
- 3. Use standard collocation Original: under Suggested revision: below Why it matters: The standard expression is ‘below the poverty line’.
- 4. Use concise collocation Original: take up the responsibility Suggested revision: take responsibility Why it matters: ‘Take responsibility’ is the natural concise collocation here.
- 5. Correct debt expression Original: buried into debts Suggested revision: burdened by debt Why it matters: ‘Burdened by debt’ is the idiomatic expression for serious indebtedness.
- 6. Use adjective form Original: unbalances Suggested revision: unbalanced Why it matters: The noun ‘finances’ requires the adjective ‘unbalanced’.
- 7. Correct adjective phrase Original: fewer fortune nations Suggested revision: less fortunate nations Why it matters: ‘Less fortunate’ is the correct comparative adjective phrase.
- 8. Clarify comparison Original: than their own governments Suggested revision: than these nations’ own governments Why it matters: The demonstrative makes clear that the governments belong to the less fortunate nations.
- 9. Use infinitive form Original: enable them paying off Suggested revision: enable them to pay off Why it matters: The verb ‘enable’ takes an object followed by a to-infinitive.
- 10. Use lowercase disease name Original: Cholera Suggested revision: cholera Why it matters: Common disease names are not capitalized unless they contain a proper noun.
- 11. Fix determiner placement Original: the knowledge and the sufficient medical resources Suggested revision: sufficient knowledge and medical resources Why it matters: The definite articles are unnecessary, and ‘sufficient’ should modify both coordinated nouns clearly.
- 12. Punctuate transition Original: However developed countries Suggested revision: However, developed countries Why it matters: The sentence adverb ‘However’ must be followed by a comma.
Suggested Rewrites
- where the main difference between them is with the main difference being
- infrastructures infrastructure
- under below
- take up the responsibility take responsibility
- buried into debts burdened by debt
- unbalances unbalanced
Why this response received Band 6.5
The response presents a clear, consistent position and supports it with several relevant avenues for international assistance, including finance, healthcare, and compensation for brain drain. Its main limitation is language control: frequent awkward collocations and word-form errors, together with an overlong body paragraph, reduce precision and readability. The priority is to divide the reasoning into focused paragraphs and revise each sentence for accurate vocabulary and grammatical patterns.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Response
The position is clear throughout and is supported by multiple relevant, generally developed reasons and examples.
Deepen the argument by explaining safeguards that would make financial and medical assistance effective rather than simply listing forms of aid.
Coherence and Cohesion
Ideas follow a broadly logical sequence, but almost all development is compressed into one long body paragraph and some transitions are mechanical.
Separate financial aid, medical aid, and migration into distinct focused paragraphs with clear topic sentences and concise internal progression.
Lexical Resource
The response shows sufficient range for the topic, but frequent inaccurate collocations and word forms reduce precision.
Replace phrases such as unbalances finances, fewer fortune nations, and benefit out of with accurate forms such as financial imbalances, less fortunate nations, and benefit from.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
A mix of simple and complex structures conveys meaning clearly overall, although article, preposition, capitalization, and verb-pattern errors recur.
Edit systematically for verb complements, articles, and sentence boundaries, especially in structures such as enable them to pay and donate free medicines to them.
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IELTS Writing Task 2
Some people say that rich nations should help poor countries with their basic needs like food and education while others oppose the idea and argue that the poor nation themselves should try to improve their condition. Do you agree with the idea that rich and developed nations should help the poor nations? Write no less than 250 words.
Your response
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