Disruptive school students have a negative influence on others. Students who are noisy and disobedient should be grouped together and taught separately. Do you agree or disagree with this view?
Sample Response
Schools are designed to educate new members of society. This education includes science, culture and rights. Today's schools do not arrange students to different classes for their behaviours.
In my opinion, it would be efficient to make discrete classes according to students' moods and behaviours. There are many reasons for not to group disobedient and well-mannered ones. One of them is the discrimination that makes to feel anxiety. The noisy children will worry about their personality when we divide students into such groups. They will probably think their personal identity is inadequate to spend time with others and study together. And it is likely to appear the disbelief to themselves, thus it is a big threat to society. Secondly, because of this discrimination, they will not pay sufficient attention to their lessons which are not enough good now too. This may cause the failure of their forthcoming future and career. It can be also the reason for the creation of personality distortion and even the existence of bad-intended criminals in the future.
Nonetheless, it does not mean that schools should allow the actions of disruptive students. Schools have to be strict about this kind of actions and must not allow these students to distract the successful students. To prevent this type of distractions there are some precautions at most schools. The discipline systems are exactly for these actions. For example, if any student disturbs their classmates or interrupts their teacher, this student is suspended from the school for a while. Thus, students can grasp the value of their school.
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Fix placement construction Original: arrange Suggested revision: assign Why it matters: Assign students to is the correct construction for placing learners in classes.
- 2. Clarify classification basis Original: for their behaviours Suggested revision: based on their behaviour Why it matters: Based on clearly states the criterion used for grouping students.
- 3. Use natural class phrase Original: efficient to make discrete classes Suggested revision: effective to create separate classes Why it matters: Effective evaluates a policy outcome, and separate classes is the natural term here.
- 4. Use relevant conduct term Original: according to students' moods and behaviours Suggested revision: based on students' conduct Why it matters: Conduct refers directly to the noisy and disobedient behaviour under discussion, unlike moods.
- 5. Fix infinitive structure Original: reasons for not to group Suggested revision: reasons not to group Why it matters: Reasons is followed by the negative infinitive not to group without for.
- 6. Name students clearly Original: well-mannered ones Suggested revision: well-behaved students Why it matters: Students is clearer than the vague substitute ones.
- 7. Clarify emotional concern Original: personality Suggested revision: identity Why it matters: Identity fits the following claim about how the children perceive themselves.
- 8. Fix relative comparison Original: lessons which are not enough good now too Suggested revision: lessons, in which they already perform poorly Why it matters: The revision expresses their existing academic difficulty in a grammatical relative clause.
- 9. Use natural consequence phrase Original: the failure of their forthcoming future and career Suggested revision: harm their future education and careers Why it matters: A future cannot fail, and forthcoming future is redundant.
- 10. Fix adverb and causation Original: It can be also the reason Suggested revision: It can also cause Why it matters: Also belongs after the modal, and cause states the relationship directly.
- 11. Clarify personality effect Original: the creation of personality distortion Suggested revision: the development of personality problems Why it matters: The revised phrase is natural and preserves the claimed psychological effect.
- 12. Fix number agreement Original: this kind of actions Suggested revision: these kinds of actions Why it matters: The plural noun actions requires plural demonstrative and head noun forms.
Suggested Rewrites
- arrange assign
- for their behaviours based on their behaviour
- efficient to make discrete classes effective to create separate classes
- according to students' moods and behaviours based on students' conduct
- reasons for not to group reasons not to group
- well-mannered ones well-behaved students
Why this response received Band 5.5
The response’s strongest idea is that schools can discipline disruptive behaviour without segregating students, and it attempts to explain the psychological and academic harm that separate classes could cause. Its main limitation is a contradictory opening position—initially calling separate classes efficient before arguing against them—followed by no conclusion, while frequent language errors blur several claims; prioritise an unambiguous thesis, a matching conclusion, and clearer development of realistic consequences.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Response
The essay develops reasons against segregation and proposes discipline as an alternative, but the stated position is contradictory and never clarified in a conclusion.
State clearly from the outset that disruptive students should remain integrated, then conclude by reaffirming that discipline and support are preferable to separate classes.
Coherence and Cohesion
The response has a recognisable progression from possible harms to an alternative policy, but the contradictory thesis and several unclear links weaken coherence.
Use one paragraph for the harms of segregation and one for school-based alternatives, with explicit links between each claim and its consequence.
Lexical Resource
There is some relevant vocabulary for discrimination, discipline, identity, and suspension, but frequent unnatural combinations make the argument imprecise.
Replace phrases such as “disbelief to themselves,” “failure of their forthcoming future,” “personality distortion,” and “bad-intended criminals” with direct, conventional wording.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
Some complex sentences are attempted, but frequent infinitive, article, agreement, word-order, and clause-structure errors regularly strain clarity.
Practise controlled forms such as “reasons not to group,” “causes them anxiety,” “their lessons are already weak,” and “this kind of action.”
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IELTS Writing Task 2
Disruptive school students have a negative influence on others. Students who are noisy and disobedient should be grouped together and taught separately. Do you agree or disagree with this view?
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.