Disruptive school students have a negative influence on others. Students who are noisy and disobedient should be grouped together and taught separately. Do you agree or disagree with this view?
Sample Response
A society is a mixture of virtuous and evil minds, so is a school where you could find children of both natures. Now the question arises whether the mischievous students should be parted and educated from others? Is this going to benefit the other students in the class? In my opinion, this is not going to help, because such a distinctive line does not exist outside the realm of school.
Considering school as a unit of society, where one's conscience is solely responsible for choosing the right or wrong path, students should be familiar with the sources of shoddy influences from their school life. Through exposure to such negative influences, the student gets equipped with the sense to prioritise his social contacts and interactions. Overcoming such hurdles in schooling will help them deal with the sheer pressure of the society in future, where similar sources of carnage are plenty. These students should be well supported and guided by the teachers to avoid themselves getting influenced by the black sheep of the herd. On the contrary, grouping all the disobedient and noisy students together would be like making the matter from bad to worse. For example, a bad habit from one student of the group is going to influence the rest of them, if one student smokes, probably the rest are going to follow him. Moreover, as said earlier, no one is born as a criminal, rightly so, the causative factor behind their disruptive behaviour in these students should be identified and rectified by the school force. They should be given a chance to get influenced by the goodness of their counterparts. I would like to conclude the discourse by stating that separation is never a solution for a unified society that we all dream of. Whether a good or bad student - all should be schooled together.
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Avoid moral labels Original: virtuous and evil minds Suggested revision: people with positive and negative traits Why it matters: The revision describes behavioural differences without reducing people to absolute moral categories.
- 2. Use task-specific term Original: the mischievous students Suggested revision: disruptive students Why it matters: “Disruptive” identifies the behaviour in question more precisely than “mischievous.”
- 3. Fix passive coordination Original: parted and educated from others Suggested revision: separated and taught apart from others Why it matters: Students are separated from others and taught apart from them; “educated from” is not grammatical.
- 4. Use natural expression Original: such a distinctive line Suggested revision: such a clear division Why it matters: “Clear division” naturally describes a boundary between groups of students.
- 5. Use concise context Original: outside the realm of school Suggested revision: outside the school environment Why it matters: The revised phrase states the setting directly and naturally.
- 6. Fix dangling opener Original: Considering school as a unit of society Suggested revision: Because school is a unit of society Why it matters: The original participial opener incorrectly suggests that students are doing the considering.
- 7. Use accurate collocation Original: sources of shoddy influences Suggested revision: sources of negative influence Why it matters: “Shoddy” describes poor workmanship, not harmful social influence.
- 8. Use natural construction Original: the student gets equipped with the sense Suggested revision: students develop the judgement Why it matters: The plural subject and direct verb express the acquisition of judgement naturally.
- 9. Use natural collocation Original: the sheer pressure of the society Suggested revision: the pressures of society Why it matters: General social pressures take a plural noun, and generic “society” needs no article.
- 10. Add definite article Original: in future Suggested revision: in the future Why it matters: The standard time expression is “in the future.”
- 11. Replace inaccurate imagery Original: sources of carnage are plenty Suggested revision: negative influences are common Why it matters: “Carnage” means mass killing and does not describe the social pressures discussed here.
- 12. Fix avoidance pattern Original: avoid themselves getting influenced Suggested revision: avoid being influenced Why it matters: “Avoid” takes a gerund directly and does not require the reflexive pronoun.
Suggested Rewrites
- virtuous and evil minds people with positive and negative traits
- the mischievous students disruptive students
- parted and educated from others separated and taught apart from others
- such a distinctive line such a clear division
- outside the realm of school outside the school environment
- Considering school as a unit of society Because school is a unit of society
Why this response received Band 6.5
The response presents a clear disagreement and supports it with several relevant reasons, particularly the risks of concentrating disruptive pupils together. Its main limitation is that the argument is compressed into one very long body paragraph and is sometimes expressed through exaggerated or imprecise language. The highest priority is to separate and develop the main reasons in focused paragraphs, using more natural, exact wording.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Response
A clear position is maintained and supported by relevant reasons and an example, although some claims are overstated or insufficiently examined.
Develop each principal reason more precisely by explaining how mixed schooling would help both disruptive and well-behaved students.
Coherence and Cohesion
The argument progresses logically overall, but nearly all development is placed in one dense body paragraph with some overloaded sentences.
Divide the discussion into focused body paragraphs and use clearer sentence boundaries to make each stage of the reasoning easy to follow.
Lexical Resource
The response demonstrates a broad vocabulary, but several forceful expressions and collocations are inaccurate or unnatural in context.
Prefer precise, conventional phrases such as negative influences, social pressure, and school staff over dramatic or awkward alternatives.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
A range of complex structures is used and meaning remains clear, though punctuation, agreement, and clause-control errors recur.
Review long sentences for comma splices, pronoun agreement, and unnecessary reflexive forms, then split them where needed.
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IELTS Writing Task 2
Disruptive school students have a negative influence on others. Students who are noisy and disobedient should be grouped together and taught separately. Do you agree or disagree with this view?
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.