Many people believe that social networking sites such as Facebook have huge negative effects on society and individuals. Do you agree or disagree?
Sample Response
Nowadays, everyone spends more and more time on global networking websites. Majority of masses think that global networking websites, for instance, Facebook have a more significant impact on society and individuals. This essay will put light on effects on both organizations as well as individuals.
To begin with, it is crystal clear that it has lots of effect on society. First and the foremost effect is increased cybercrime rates, which has a more significant impact on society. To elaborate or would be seen that increase in the uses of social networking services leads to the rise in cybercrime. Secondly, it affects the social culture as well as tradition. To explain it lucid that increased the using rate of social networking sites leads to loss of cultural and traditional activities which affect the society directly because masses follow another culture rather than own.
In Addition, it has a plethora of impact on individuals.foremost effect on the health of user.to explain it; individuals spend their lots of time on internets. As a result, they dont eat a proper diet, and their health become weaker such as weak eyesight. Moreover, teenagers distract themselves from their life goals to explain it could be seen that student spend more time on social media rather than study. As a result, they will not succeed in their life goals.
In conclusion, from the first discussions, it is crystal clear that social networking has more negative effects than positive ones.
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Add article and clarify Original: Majority of masses Suggested revision: The majority of people Why it matters: The countable noun phrase needs a definite article, and “people” is the natural term here.
- 2. Fix subject agreement Original: have Suggested revision: has Why it matters: The singular subject “Facebook” requires the verb “has.”
- 3. Use correct expression Original: put Suggested revision: shed Why it matters: The standard expression is “shed light on.”
- 4. Match the stated groups Original: both organizations as well as individuals Suggested revision: both society and individuals Why it matters: “Society” accurately names the first group discussed in the task and essay.
- 5. Fix count noun Original: lots of effect Suggested revision: many effects Why it matters: “Effect” is countable here and must be plural after “many.”
- 6. Remove faulty coordination Original: First and the foremost effect Suggested revision: The foremost effect Why it matters: “First” and “foremost” should not be joined in this noun phrase.
- 7. Use uncountable noun Original: increase in the uses Suggested revision: increased use Why it matters: “Use” is uncountable when referring generally to use of social-networking services.
- 8. Choose correct article Original: the Suggested revision: a Why it matters: An unspecified increase takes the article “a.”
- 9. Clarify paired concepts Original: the social culture as well as tradition Suggested revision: social culture and traditions Why it matters: The revised phrase expresses the two general concepts naturally and consistently.
- 10. Fix capitalization Original: Addition Suggested revision: addition Why it matters: A common noun within this linking phrase should not be capitalized.
- 11. Fix number agreement Original: a plethora of impact Suggested revision: a significant impact Why it matters: The singular noun “impact” is incompatible with “a plethora of.”
- 12. Use plural reference Original: user Suggested revision: users Why it matters: The statement refers to social-media users generally, so the noun should be plural.
Suggested Rewrites
- Majority of masses The majority of people
- have has
- put shed
- both organizations as well as individuals both society and individuals
- lots of effect many effects
- First and the foremost effect The foremost effect
Why this response received Band 5.5
The response has a recognizable structure and presents several relevant negative effects on society and individuals. Its main limitation is that the position emerges clearly only in the conclusion, while the supporting ideas remain general and are expressed through frequent language errors. Prioritize stating an explicit position in the introduction and developing each effect with a precise, convincing explanation or example.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Response
The response addresses the negative effects on both society and individuals, but its position is initially vague and the ideas receive limited support.
State clear agreement in the introduction and develop each main effect with a specific, logically explained example.
Coherence and Cohesion
The society-and-individuals paragraph structure is easy to follow, although linking is mechanical and progression within sentences is sometimes unclear.
Use simpler topic sentences and connect each claim, explanation, and result in a clear logical sequence.
Lexical Resource
There is some relevant topic vocabulary, but frequent inaccurate collocations, word forms, and spelling reduce precision.
Choose natural, precise expressions such as social media use and cultural practices instead of relying on memorized phrases.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
A mixture of sentence forms is attempted, but frequent agreement, article, punctuation, and sentence-boundary errors weaken control.
Build complete sentences with clear subjects and verbs, then check agreement, plurals, articles, and punctuation systematically.
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IELTS Writing Task 2
Many people believe that social networking sites such as Facebook have huge negative effects on society and individuals. Do you agree or disagree?
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.